Subject: Regis Cebu Leadership Genogram by Leader Bryan Peter V. Evangelista
Good afternoon prof jorge. again resending po as I do not see my reports on the blogspot. thank you sir.
Regis Cebu Leadership
Leader Bryan Peter v. Evangelsita
Genogram
Paternal Grandparents
Let me begin my Genogram with our Evangelista Family. My Paternal Grandfather was Roberto Evangelista Sr. He looks exactly like my father except that Lolo Berto kept a handsome mustache. He is from the Academe. When he died of a stroke when I was in high school, he was Dean for the College of Engineering at Laguna Colleges in San Pablo City Laguna. Truth be told he suffered a stroke while working in his office. To be perfectly honest, I did not know he was a dean until his death. During his wake, so many people visited and he even had an honor guard watching over his casket. The honor guards were from the College's ROTC. A simple and humble man, I did not realize he carried such importance in the community. I honestly thought he didn't do anything. He was always around when we visited and he didn't' seem to go anywhere or do anything else. He just quietly spent time with his children and grandchildren every time we visited. He was the eldest among 7 siblings; Leoncia , Esperanza, Vicenta, Rosario, Benjamin, and Rodelio.
My Paternal Grandmother was Maria del Pilar Evangelista. If my Lolo Berto was quiet and simple, my Lola Pilar spoke her mind. Don't get me wrong, she was as loving and caring as any Grandmother could be. Considering the quiet, reserved and conservative nature of the Velasco clan, (my maternal side of the family), her inquisitive nature keeps you on your toes. Sometimes it felt like the inquisition if you are caught off guard and end up having a one on one conversation with her. One trait I will always remember about Lola Pileng is her deep religious roots. Praying the Rosary, the 3 o'clock habit, are regular features in the day to day life of the Evangelista household. In fact, in one conversation I had with my Grandmother, she lamented how sad she was that none of her children or grandchildren either became a priest or a nun. If Lolo Berto was always at home when we are around, Lola Pileng did spend time with us but she would also often go to Church to both pray and serve during Mass. Later in this paper, I will admit that my Maternal Grandmother is the better cook if we are to compare; however, my all-time favorite dish can only be prepared by my Lola Pileng. She makes the best Kare Kare ever and no restaurant in Manila has come close to the thick-savory-peanuty taste of her version. You don't even need bagoong as it ruins the taste; compared to other recipes of Kare Kare wherein you need the shrimp paste to enhance the flavor. Lola Pileng was also the eldest among 6 children; Cristeta, Mercedes, Purita, Victorino, and Elena.
My paternal grandparents raised 6 children. Teaching them the values of hardwork, discipline and faith.
1) Teresita married to Welfredo Estrellado. The Eldest among the siblings, Tita Tess is a businesswoman. She rented apartments, also did some lending. One thing common among most of the Evangelista siblings is that they are fun loving people. Tita Tess would often host parties at the Evangelista ancestral home; eating, drinking and dancing the night away. In fact, my father was part of a band and my Tita Tess was a back-up vocalist. I don't remember her husband so much as he died when I was still young. She has 2 Children.
Glenn married to Verna. Just this December 2015, Kuya Glenn came back from Canada just to spend Christmas here and to celebrate Tita Tess' 70th Birthday. It was good to see my eldest cousin after so many years. One thing struck me though. It was evident he felt guilty about migrating to Canada. He would often say, it was his fault that they were in Canada as if it was a bad thing. Later on I realized their start in Canada wasn't very easy. The graduate of UP Los Banos with a degree in Chemical Engineering was working as a dishwasher and bellboy. All that sacrifice and hard work as he is now an Assistant Manager in a Restaurant and his wife is a clerk in a real estate company. What I admire most is their daughter Ysobelle. She speaks fluent Tagalog, better than my own children and is as deeply religious as their grandmother. In fact, most visitors would hit the beaches first when they arrive. Instead they went to Simala, a sacred church housing a miraculous image of the Mother Mary in the south of Cebu for a pilgrimage and to offer prayers of thanks.
Gyenn married to Jingle Joy. They migrated to Dubai and are both doing very well. Gyenn works for an IT Company while Jingle Joy is a dentist. Just like Kuya Glenn, they raised their child Elijah well. He also speaks fluent Tagalog and easily made friends with my children even when it was the first time they met during the Christmas holidays. I felt bad for Elijah. When the Christmas gathering of the Evangelista family was over and we were saying our farewells with the prerequisite family picture, I overheard him say "Bakit na sila aalis, we're just starting to have fun?" I guess being an only child away from the rest of your relatives is really hard.
2) Atty. Angelito married to Teresita. Tito Boy's family didn't start life easy. To make ends meet Tita Teresita went to Hongkong to work as a domestic helper. And in time, because of the distance fell out of love and never came back. Tito Boy tried to keep the family together in San Pablo but I really saw the effect of a broken home in the eyes of their 4 children. Last Christmas, even though it was a major gathering of the Evangelista Clan where relatives from Canada and Dubai came home to celebrate Tita Tess' 70th Birthday as well as the holiday, Tito Boy was a no show and only Clarence, one of four siblings, attended.
Abigail is single and is now doing well for herself as a Registered Nurse in the US.
Atty. Clarence is married and has two children. He now works in Baguio as a Lawyer for a major law firm
Jenny is widowed and works in Hongkong as a domestic helper . She is the only child who decided to stay with their mother. She has 2 children Franchelle and Jenna and they stay with relatives of her deceased husband.
Engineer Michael has 3 children. Sad to say we have lost contact with him. I really do not know the whole story but Jenny and Michael seem to harbor some kind of resentment against the Evangelista family.
3) Mario is an Architect based in Kuwait. He has done well for himself, career wise. I remember in my youth that it was Tito Mario who always had the fancy gifts for Christmas. Always generous and dotting over his nephews and nieces, he is the only uncle who actually spends time to talk to us when we are together while the rest of the uncles are outside in the veranda drinking and playing mahjong. My fondest memory was when I was in college. Between 1989 to 1992, my parents were based in Singapore as my Papa's company transferred him to head their sales team. As expected, I guess, at this critical point of my adolescent life and without parental guidance, I almost got kicked-out of my University and I was only in my sophomore year. It was Tito Mario, who flew from Kuwait to visit me and set me straight. My parents eventually went back to the Philippines but it was Tito Mario who took the time to fly back just to make sure his rebellious nephew got a piece of his mind. His children are Caesar Lou and Christina and lives with their mother in Canada.
4) Angelina married to Garry Wakelin. Tita B as we fondly call her migrated to Canada in my youth. She and her husband run a small business in Canada and they are blessed with one child, Christopher. From her stories when we gathered it seems that she is the favorite daughter-in-law. In fact when her mother in law got sick, she chose to stay with Tita B and be taken-cared of by my Tita. She shared that during Christmas dinners in Canada, the family, well the mother in law, opts to spend the family Christmas in the home of Tita B and her husband. Once again, the Filipino trait of being caring and hospitable, and in the extreme side a bit of a martyr, is evident in my Tita B. She was with Kuya Glenn when she visited Cebu and she couldn't get enough of hugging and kissing and chatting with my 3 children.
5) Roberto Jr., the youngest of the siblings has 2 children, Arvin and Allan. I love my Tito Junior, as he was the funny uncle, always cracking jokes and playing pranks on everyone, but admittedly his carefree ways reflected on the life he leads. Of all the siblings, he was the only who couldn't keep a decent job. In fact, the brothers opened a car repair shop in my college days and did pretty well. To help their brother, Tito Junior was co-managing the business. But as expected, being run my Tito Junior, eventually they decided to close the business as they were losing money. Just like the two children of Tito Boy earlier, I haven't heard anything from Tito Junior's children Arvin and Allan. They parted ways soon after the death of their mother due to cancer.
Maternal Grandparents
My Maternal Grandfather was Sebastian Velasco, deceased. My grandfather was the third child born of 4 male siblings ( Victorino, Cornelio, and Juan). He comes from a landed family in San Pablo, Laguna. The land was their main way of living. Compared to other families in our town back then (San Pablo is now a City), their family was better off. I remember him fondly as a hard worker always in the farm and only coming home to take his meals and sleep. A man of few words yet still takes the time to chat with all of his guests and his children and grandchildren. He was a bit stern and strict but warm and welcoming. One of the things I remember most of my grandfather was that he made everything from scratch. I guess since there were no groceries back then, he made his own jams, cheeses and of course I will never forget the big jars of lambanog buried somewhere in the farm. He would take out the jars every Christmas to serve to his guests.
My Maternal Grandmother was Francisca Velasco, deceased. Our Lola was a housewife and she was a great cook. She prepares all the family meals even though they had house help. Just like my lolo, I remember her make her home made ube, leche flan, macaroons, bibingka, and many more home-made delicacies. I often hear my aunties and lady cousins regret they never learned her recipes as we miss her and her cooking so much. If my grandfather was a bit stern, my grandmother was warm and loving. She always had a treat for all the grandchildren every time we visit. My fondest memory is the non-stop chatting of the lady Velascos in the veranda of the farm house. It amazes me until now when I remember in fondness that they never ran out of stories to share. My lola was engaging and very much interested to know and happenings and goings of each of her children and grandchildren. My grandmother was the eldest of 7 siblings: Josefa, Melquiades, Felimon, Antonia, Leonardo and Arcadio.
Herewith is the Velasco family tree of Lolo Baste and Lola Kikay, her children, spouses and grandchildren.
1) Iluminada married to Dr. Pompeyo Faylona (deceased). This couple complements each other. Dr. Faylona was a strict father not just with his own children but with his nephews and nieces as well. He was nice, but he always had a word or two regarding rowdy behavior or poor grades in school. If Dr. Faylona was strict, Tita Lumeng is a kind spirit always hugging us every time we see each other in family gatherings, giving us words of encouragement to love our parents and do well in school. She is a housewife and later on you will see that this is true to all women of the Velasco family wherein the father provides and the mother takes care of the home and children. Their children are:
Carol married to Bernard Dykheng. Both are entrepreneurs who have migrated to Canada, their children are Gino Martelli, Carl and Kenneth. Up until now, most of our family did not agree to them migrating to Canada. They had a successful poultry business in Alaminos, Laguna and if there was any family who did not need to go outside the country to earn a living, it was them.
Dr. Jose Macario married to Lynette. Following his father's footsteps Dr. Macario is an accomplished surgeon practicing in the Asian Hospital and the Philippine General Hospital. Their children are Elijah and Arianne.
Gerry married to Lalee. Kuya Gerry is an entrepreneur. Aside from partnering with his Ate Carol in the poultry business, he also has his own farm lands. They followed their Ate Carol and Kuya Bernard to Canada but recently came back as they wanted to have their children finish their University Studies here in the Philippines. Their children are Marvin, James and Abigail.
2) Consorcia married to Rosauro Adam. I've never met them as they both died in a car accident before I was born. Leaving three children, Ate Baby, Bebot and Connie, the Velasco siblings took it upon themselves to take care of the three girls. They were brought up by our Lolay Kikay and calls our Tita Madeng "Mama". That's why as we grew up, they were never really treated like our cousins, they were treated like our elder sisters, as part of the Evangelista, Faylona, Enriquez and Velasco families. The three sisters and their families are:
Rosanna married to Allan and their children are Ma. Charmagne Louise, Timothy Carl. Kuya Allan is an executive of a multinational pharamaceutical company while Ate Baby is a home maker.
Rosaida, twin of Rosanna, is a single mom with two children from two different-good-for-nothing-sperm-donors. Her daughters are Olivia Rose and Nicole. Though she gets support, which is not enough, she and her daughter Nikki were provided for by the love and generosity of the Velasco Siblings.
Ma. Rita Consorcia married to Hector Santos and their children are Hectonny Jan and Danyel Maxin. They distanced themselves from the family some time ago. I really do not know the whole story, it could be attitudinal or maybe because of change in religion.
3) Amada married to Manolo Enriquez. This couple is the closest to my father and mother. Tito Nonong is one of our more popular uncles. A funny guy, always cracking jokes. They also lived off the land as they also had farm land. A working man, Tito Nonong complemented his earnings by driving his own school bus. Up until her retirement a few years ago, was a government employee as well as raising their children who lives in the same compound together with their own families:
Michael Vincent married to Jean Enriquez. A Nurse by profession, Kuya Vincent own and runs a successful wholesale business right infront of the family compound. His children are Katrina, Bianca, Miguel Sebastien and Michael Emmanuel. One fond memory I have of Kuya Vincent is that when the father of Tito Nonong fell ill, Kuya Vincent took it upon himself to take care and nurse his grandfather. When his peers have already left the country to pursue a career in nursing abroad, he chose to stay and took care of an ailing grandfather. I guess life has a way of repaying you for your good deeds. He may not be practicing his profession but his wholesale business is doing so well it is able to support his own growing family.
Marie Rachelle married to Bong Canta. Their children are Cholo, Beatrice and Sophia Ammabelle. Here is another inspiring story to share. Ate Chinky was creative, artistic if you will, but a rebel as she was growing up. She got married when she got pregnant. Most of our relatives felt that she wouldn't amount to anything. That she was destined to be a burden to our parents the rest of her life. After so many failed business, she and her husband finally found their calling. She now runs a successful catering business, rents out vans, also has a landscaping business and now even breeds expensive dogs. If there's any lesson I could pick up from Ate Chinky, it is to simply never give up and to pursue your passion and eventually this paid off for her and her family.
4) Gener married to Aurora. Tito Gener was a Veteran of the Vietnam War. The eldest of the male siblings, he was a cook in the US Navy during the war in Vietnam. When he came back from the war, as expected he also lived off the land and went into farming. He also had a few businesses that never really took off. My brother and I would regularly help in these businesses. Everytime we stay in San Pablo, we chose to stay with them as we are so close to their children. I remember picking up sacks of coal and repacking them. I also remember sweeping and cleaning up the factory floor of their small clothing business. And our payment for a hard afternoons work, chippy and cola. I did not realize that they were going through hard times. Until one day, in the early 90's, he left for Hiroshima, a city in Japan bringing with him my cousins Yancy and Sherwin for work. My cousins were never able to finish their University studies. As construction workers they did well and after a few years came back and used their earnings to start different businesses. Tito Gener died of leukemia a few years after coming back to the Philippines.
Yancy Gabriel married to Gemma. Kuya Yancy now works in an oilrig in Algeria. Their children are Shasha, Chris and Sadie.
Raymund Sherwin married to Roxanne. Sherwin also works in an oilrig in Algeria. Since their contracts are one month on and one month off, Kuya Yancy and Sherwin replaces each other every other month. His children are Cholo, Georgette, and Gee Anne.
Aldwin married to Atty. Shiela and they have a child named Nathan. Aldwin was the baby of all the cousins. He is always mild mannered, innocent and fun. He wasn't lucky in life. Unlike his siblings who were able to earn money and having savings while in Japan, he was just in Laguna with their mother. Although he was able to finish with a diploma from a local college in San Pablo, he really didn't do anything else other than take care of their aging mother. At least now he is married to a woman who loves him even though he didn't really amount to anything yet.
5) Emma and USN Lt. Commander Carmelito Denosta (deceased) They live in San Diego California together with their children. Tita Emma on the other hand is a CPA and worked for the Social Security Administration until her retirement. There was a time when Tito Lito's ship was assigned to Subic and we would visit them often and stay in Subic Bay. It was like living the U.S. without leaving the Philippines. It was a fun time with our cousins Vince and Ate Gail. I remember, however, that my Tita Emma didn't really like me back then as I was a rowdy child growing up. I was often scolded by Tita Emma for rough housing and running around all the time. I remember her telling me often to learn to just walk. I could never sit still up until now. Tita Emma is now retired and lives in Las Vegas Nevada. Their children are:
Abigail was once divorced and is now married to Scott. Both are successful lawyers practicing in California. Ate Gail's children from her first husband are Kevin and Bryan. I get the last laugh as one of Tita Emma's grandchildren is my name sake.
Vincent married to Monica is a program developer and also lives in California with their children Taylor and Tori.
6) Isagani married to Cecilia Velasco is the youngest among the Velasco Siblings. Just like Tito Gener, he also toiled the land, in his spare time. As a career he worked for a bank that is one of the major players in the industry. He was loan officer up until he retired some 10 years ago. Being the youngest, he was treated more like an older brother by my more senior cousins. Like any other member of the Velaso family, he was hard working. Being in San Pablo, as compared to a Metro Manila, the provincial pace of life allowed him to go between the farm, the bank and time with his two boys. Paul Irving and Nicolai. Both brothers are now in the US with lives of their own.
Irving is married to Allelie. They have two children Alyssa and Ethan. They both work in the Information Technology industry and are doing well for themselves. Tito Boy and Tita Cecile, fly between the Philippines and the US often to be with their boys.
My Family
I saved the best for last. Raul Evangelista married to Maria Azucena Velasco. I love their love story. My mother and father were just friends, belonging to the same clique. Since my Mother's family was better off, her clique were children from landed families as well. My father's family are white-collar folks and as discussed earlier were not as blessed financially. Because of my Father's wit and humor he was still accepted by the more affluent families. Friends became best friends and eventually became lovers. I am inspired by Papa. I remember his stories when he was still in elementary school and how he worked after school selling banana cue made by Lola Pileng just to earn enough for his allowance. And his hard work and industry continued as he provided for his family. I benchmark myself against the accomplishments of my Papa. He already owned 5 hectares of land by the time he turned 27. I had to borrow money from parents just to pay for my own wedding. He told me that he did all of this to prove himself worthy of my mother. My father is hard working, but found time to be with his family and made sure that we enjoyed our childhood and sent us to good schools like Colegio San Agustin in Makati and De La Salle University in Manila. My mother discontinued her profession as a teacher to focus on raising her children. As you can see from our family tree, almost all the women focused on, and did an excellent job, raising their children as all the grandchildren have some measure of success in life.
I have two siblings.
My young brother Mark works for DMCI and is married to Karen and they are blessed with one child, Matthew Robert. My brother was an achiever in school, always had better grades than me. The quite type but he is not shy as he can carry a conversation with anyone. Just like me though, he also has a hot temper as silent waters run deep.
My only sister, Frances Pilar has Down's Syndrome. Being the youngest and only girl among us siblings, she is showered with so much love and affection from all of us. It's our fault that she's hopelessly spoiled but she deserves all that love as she is such a sweet child. She is now 34 years old and I suffer deep sadness every time the thought that she has a short life expectancy crosses my mind. And yet she is still with us and we make everyday count. She is the reason why the up until this day I believe that family will always come first.
Bryan Peter Married to Frances Mae Remotigue. My wife and I are living proof that opposites do attract. She's based in Cebu and I was based in Manila and we met in Dagupan for a conference. We were sent by our respective companies as delegates. At first we didn't like each other. She was too talkative for my taste and I was a snob. After the conference we went out separate ways. She went back to Cebu and I to Manila and a few months after that we started communicating and then by the end of the year I visited her in Cebu. Soon after that I would visit cebu at least every other month just to be with this lady I didn't like at the start. We were married 3 years later. I work for private multinational insurance company and she works for a government own corporation. And we are now blessed with 3 Children, from eldest to youngest they are
Mary Cena Therese (Seti)
Sebastian Bryce
Francesco Inigo (Chino)
My wife and I, though complete opposites in terms of Character, saw that because of this we actually complement each others weaknesses. She may panic is most troubling situations while I keep calm and collected. I easily get frustrated and she gives me reassurance and teaches me patience. She is a romantic and I am practical. Though this could be a flashpoint in terms of issues and eventually arguments, I've learned that it also balances our personalities. As a hopeless romantic, my wife expects me to sweep her of her feet all the time, which I do try to live up to but there are times that I have to coach her and realize to keep it special, it shouldn't happen everyday because if it does, then it becomes routine and it loses its magic. I the other hand, being a practical and pragmatic person therefore very reserved in my mannerism and emotions, have been taught by my wife to get out of my shell and that it is alright to show my romantic side. She changed my love language.
1. What is the new learning?
I would like to apply this to two new learnings I've had regarding leadership. Taken from the book Heroic Leadership by Chris Lowney, the four pillars of leadership are Self-awareness, Ingenuity, Love and Heroism.
Of the 4, 2 resonated as I did my Genogram and these are Self-awareness and Love. In self-awareness or to order one's life. "Leaders thrive by understanding who they are and what they value by becoming aware of unhealthy blind spots or weaknesses that can derail then, by cultivating the habit of continuous self-reflection and learning." Through this Genogram, I underwent a self-reflection exercise and I can clearly see how my attitudes, my character and values were molded over time by my family. For better or worse I am who am I am today because of my family.
The other pillar is Love, "with greater love than fear". "Leaders face the world with a confident, healthy send of themselves as endower with talent, dignity , and the potential to lead. They find exactly these same attributes in others and passionately commit to honoring and unlocking the potential they find in themselves and in others. They create environments bound and energized by loyalty, affection and mutual support." Overtime I've realized as a leader not to focus on the weaknesses but to focus on their strengths. To change person takes time but to understand their strengths and capitalize on their strengths and harness this for the good of not just the organization but for the good of the individual as well. Again, I saw the same compassion and "second chance" attitude in my family. Despite of faults they are still looked upon with the same love and given the same opportunity as a favored son or daughter.
2. What is the relation to what I all ready know?
In terms of Self - awareness, from the lessons I've learned from the experiences of my family, either use them or if they are detrimental to journey in life and leadership learn to control if not change them. I am generous by nature, I am thrifty to myself. I leverage this to gain influence and favor over others specially in my leadership role. As a leader, I not only influence the people directly under me but even those in other departments. Not bribes but when opportunity allows them I offer reward for a behavior I wanted to influence. Even the small tokens of ice cream during lunch to our operations staff goes a long way in helping me get the job done. This trait is evident in my family history as both clans have shown generosity and care. I remember my wife commenting one time when I give generous tips to waiters or even car wash boys, "they are already paid" said my wife to which I responded, "and it's not enough". Show value and appreciation all the time is one of many traits I share with my family.
In terms of Love, I can easily associate this to the experience of my Tito Junior. A the so called "black sheep of the family", one would think that the other brothers would look down on him. On to contrary they even gave him the responsibility of overseeing their fledgling car repair business so many years ago. But the story doesn't end there. What amazes me is that even when Tito Junior messes up the business forcing the brothers to close the repair shop, the brothers did not harbor and ill well towards their youngest sibling. Of course they were disappointed and mad at what happened, but you would have thought that Tito Junior would have been unwelcomed in family gatherings. In one family gathering Tito Junior apologized to his brothers and the others simply said no to think of it anymore. Up until this day, my father defends his brother against his critics as my father believes that good can still come out from him. This transcend family. If you look at a person, even a colleague, with the same "love" you see your family, good can still come out of them.
3. What have I done, am doing, will be doing for this topic?
In my organization, there are a handful of people who have a very myopic idea of their role in the organization. They only do what is expected of them. This attitude would have been a nuisance in you were working in Manila, but in the provinces such as Cebu, this attitude is detrimental to our shared goals. I always remind staff in any opportunity that allows me to remind them, that (in the vernacular), "tayo tayo lang ang magtutuungan". That we shouldn't depend on and wait for Manila to solve our problems. Most people have followed the same mentality but as Is said there are a handful who do not. It would have been easy to have simply called their supervisor or worse I could easily call the head for Human Resources and spill the beans so to speak on the work ethic of this person. If I did that, it may have worsened my relationship with that person. Instead I focus on their strengths and reward their behavior and over time I have started to have influence in terms of getting them to do things outside their job function. I am not their boss, but I have seniority due to rank and tenure. I leverage specially on tenure as I have gained much experience in the business. I used my own personal experiences to help them many times if they were in a predicament that they could not address on their own.
Again, these acts of leadership are, obvious to me now, were all home grown. I saw this in my very own family where people made mistakes but were still treated with much respect and love and eventually they turned out okey.
One thing is for certain, as I've done in the past , I commit to continue to look at people with much love than fear as this has worked out pretty well for me in my career; and, I need to be more aware of who I am and what are my values as they continue to guide me and mold me as I continue with my journey in life.
