Please disregard prof the last two emails. I had problems po kasi in attaching my graphics. Please consider this as the final paper. I used my gmail account coz my yahoo account is having problems in graphics po. <every smart guy uses Gmail now>
I. Where I am now?
Defining Moment
The highlight of my defining moment paper and my self-discovery is tabulated below:
Defining Moment
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What lessons I learned from these experiences
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My Childhood Experience
( Feeling Dejected )
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On every thorn, delightful wisdom grows. In every rill, a sweet instruction flow – Edward Young
I have struggled seeking for an answer why my parents provided me only so little of the positive guidance I need as a child? In doing the genogram, they also were not blessed with a nurturing family. Indeed, from such experience, a delightful wisdom grows and that is to start it with my family( a loving family) so a feeling of dejection will stop in my generation.
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Being the Head of the Family
( Feeling Fatigued)
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The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. William Hazlitt
In my early years as a working professional, I believed that providing for the basic needs of my family is a noble act without realizing how I made them so dependent on me. There are other forms of help that is more enduring like making them realize the importance of self-worth.
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My Marriage
( Feeling Hurt at first but feeling loved)
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Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out. John Wooden
Acceptance and forgiveness are two virtues that help me go on with my life. I became a more engaged, more involved, more responsive and loving- wife and mother because of that painful experience.
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My Profession
( Feeling Fulfilled)
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Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life Confucius
"….business practitioner seeking to become a professional and ethical business leader committed to nation-building".
In everything I do, I always revisit this vision of ATENEO. As an educator, I should make a difference to positively impact the lives of our students. In business, I should be more mindful on how I can help the local economy and the community.
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Being a mother
( feeling inspired )
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People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Abraham Lincoln
I have a vision for my children as I presented in my Call to Arms speech. I feel inspired to see how they will become someday with proper guidance and mindset.
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Enneagram
Taking enneagram helped me validate behaviors that I normally exhibit. The characteristics of the personality type that best described me are affecting the way I respond to situations. Being more aware of my strengths and weaknesses based on my personality type will somehow improve the way I perform my responsibilities at home, in our business, in my profession and the various organizations that I lead. I should strive to capitalize on my strengths but must guard my weaknesses.
Results of my enneagram revealed a personality 8 type which is a "CHALLENGER"
A challenger ( personality 8) is described as:
1) Strong and assertive but sometimes can be ego-centric and domineering.
2) Self- mastering- they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring but confrontational, intimidating, loud and controlling.
My 2nd personality I am exhibiting is personality type 7 which is an "Enthusiast"
As enthusiast ( personality 7) is described as:
1) generous, energetic, lively and optimistic but they tend to be over- extended, scattered, and undisciplined.
My personal reflection on taking enneagram is "As we age, the result will vary. People that we welcome to our lives whom we consider our mentors and coaches somehow influence our views and behavior. Then we embrace it. Now, the people I am working with, the family culture of my in-laws change my views about life. If I were confined with the values and family culture I had during my childhood years, my personality results would be different. That is why leaders are born twice. Our experiences and the people we met will reveal to us our new sense of identity as leaders."
Chapter 6 of the book of Chris Lowney presented "The Spiritual Exercises", a life long development tool. The book says "The exercises demand total intellectual, emotional, and spiritual engagement. Accordingly, they monopolize focus and energy for their thirty-day duration". While enneagram is one tool to know our personality, strengths, values and weaknesses, the spiritual exercise is considered indeed a more powerful tool. I can say it is more powerful as most Jesuits personify heroic leadership as what is written in the book. It an effective tool for self-awareness as evident in the growing number of Jesuits and the schools they are managing to realize the vision of Ignatius Loyola.
Genogram
At first, I had apprehension in doing genogram. Perhaps, it is the traumatic experiences during my childhood especially the encounters I had with my relatives ( father's side). It can also be the hardship of being poor. Before taking this subject, I have to admit that I feel that I am a victim but in the course of this "Leadership" class, I realized that my past leads me to where I am now, a better "ME".
I am fascinated with the result of the genogram. It made me realize so many things about myself, my family and my passion. Some of the realizations include:
1) I should live a healthy lifestyle
Being aware of the medical risk in the family, I should make a conscious effort in living a healthy lifestyle. According to Chris Lowney's book, the foundation to ingenuity is to make ourselves indifferent. Only by becoming indifferent – free of prejudices and attachments and therefore free to choose any course of action – do recruits become strategically flexible. In relation of this concept to genogram, becoming indifferent does not only improve relationships. It can also be a more noble or heroic act and that is helping save other people's live. In my case, I should create awareness among our families about this medical risk.
2) My motivation to finish a college degree is to give pride and honor to my family – mother side. I realize I can do more for my relatives, more than material things or financial help. Help them change their poor mindset of "we are born poor, we die poor" will benefit the next generation of Aquino clan.
3) The "entrepreneurial mind-set" is innate in the family of my father where most of my uncles/aunties were entrepreneur. My "lolo" passed it on to his children. Now, I myself run businesses, which I think, is also innate in me.
4) I want to bring back the old times where my relatives from my father side organized reunions/ family gatherings. As cousins, we were close before and now that we are a bit older, I want to lead all our family reunions to nurture our relationship.
My Life Story ( J. Campbell)
In doing the J. Campbell exercise, a lot of self-discovery happened. I realized that partly, I am "go-getter" person. I am determined to get what I want. My victory over MATH subject (during freshman years in college) made me believe that you can do anything as long as you put your heart on it. Indeed, everything happens for a reason. My experience as college instructor in Manila was a big factor why I got hired as school administrator of STI College Ormoc. It was not an easy road for me but in the end I survive with a lot of lessons learned as adaptive challenges were present in my leadership as school administrator.
As explained in the HBR – Work in Leadership, solutions to adaptive challenges reside to the collective intelligence of employees at all levels. In the education sector, our target market shifted program preference aside from the stiff competition. Getting the right people on board, empowering them, leveraging on their capabilities and wit and instilling in them sense of ownership are some of our solutions to these adaptive challenges.
Internal and External Factor that Shape me
To summarize my realizations in doing reflection paper 2,
1) As to the external factors that shaped me:
Family - it is said in the HBR – Authentic Leadership, motivation to become an authentic leader came from the difficult experiences in our lives. The feeling of being rejected by my family, the instability of my father's business cause by vices and poor financial management are reasons why I considered myself a victim before. They taught me to become a strong person. They are my motivation to make things right for my family.
Work – My boss and STI executives provided me insights on how great corporate culture is. I truly treasure this experience for I apply these learnings to my own businesses. My work provides me so much fulfillment seeing our graduates succeed in their chosen careers.
Husband and in-laws- My husband and in-laws taught the importance of SAVING and BUDGETING. Their influence shaped me to strive in providing a nurturing environment for my family.
SUPPORT Group- our Couples for Christ community has greatly influenced me to be leader with a heart and to strive to become a Christ-like leader.
2) Knowing my strengths and weaknesses leads me to deep understanding of myself. Assessing my strengths and weaknesses is essential in knowing the type of work environment that I can make the greatest contribution.
One of the things I am fascinated about is my growing network of partners/friends/groups which leads me to identifying my strengths that resulted to such accomplishment.
1) I am a people-person ( People skills ) – I love relating to people. As explained by John Maxwell, "People are the most precious of resources. Your success, fulfillment, and happiness depend on your ability to relate well to different kinds of people".
2) Passion for learning – In my quest to new learnings, I am always in the look-out for mentors, coaches and role model. They are so many of them in socio-civic organizations, graduate schools-classmates and professors, corporation and even business clients. I also read books on leadership and business. In my work, I always think on how every lesson I gain can be applied to my personal and professional life.
3) Communicator and critical thinker – because of these strengths, people value my inputs and insights that I can confidently communicate. Such insights ( result of number 2 ) are instrumental in the success of the organization's plans and programs.
4) Motherly touch – being affectionate. Showing tender and love to people earns their trust
I have to guard my weaknesses though. To name a few, a) Lack of focus – tendency to play the role of "jack of all trades" b) poor in execution c) hesitant to express my real feelings especially if it will hurt the other party. <Be duterte at times>