Good afternoon Prof Jorge. For your perusal
Regis Cebu Leadership
Leader Bryan V. Evangelista
Reflection Paper 2 External and Internal Factors That Shaped Me
EXTERNAL - What are family, environment school and work experience
that shaped you today?
FAMILY
I can honestly say of all the external factors that shaped me to what
I am today, it would be family that has the biggest influence on my
character. A lot of my values which will be discussed later revolved
around the experiences and lessons I've learned from my father, mother
and even my siblings.
Our family started out as a blue collar family. We were not well off
but my hardworking father and dutiful mother made sure that we were
provided for. We lived in a subdivision in Paranaque, we were sent to
good private schools. All provided for by my father as the sole
breadwinner of the family. I remember in my teens I asked my mother
why she stopped teaching as she was a teacher for a while in a public
school during my early years. She simply answered that my father
didn't want her to work anymore and wanted her to be a full time
homemaker, focusing on taking care of the family and that the
responsibility of providing rests solely upon my father. I remember
fondly that she brought me to one of her classes when I was very
young. It would be the first and last time she would bring me to one
of her classes. As the class was ongoing, I picked up two plastic
rulers. With out-stretched arms and with a ruler in each hand, I
started running up and down the rows of students playfully hitting
their heads with the rulers. Maybe this was the real reason why she
stopped teaching. I was scolded of course and my childhood memories
will be filled with the same compassion, patience, love and
understanding that defines my mother. Even until now, as a
grandmother to my children I see the same doting that she had over me
and my siblings in the way she dotes on my children, even more so.
My father is a hardworking man. I fondly remember, again during my
teens we were having a heart to heart talk. I do not remember what
triggered this father and son conversation but I will always remember
what he said. He works hard because my mom comes from an affluent
family in Laguna and he wanted to prove to my mother's family that he
was worthy of her love. He said that he just wanted to be a better
version of his father. And to this day, I also carry this as my
personal mission, to be a better version of an already great father.
Big shoes to fill I tell you. He was very focused and dedicated to
his work and his work required him to be away many times in my
childhood. His work required him to travel all over the country and
even outside to Japan, Hongkong, Singapore, and the U.S. Looking back
at my childhood I've realized though he was away from home, he was
still a prominent figure in our lives as he spent quality time with us
every time he was back. I remember that if the opportunity allowed
for it, he would bring the whole family during his business trips.
This is especially true if work required him to go out of town on
weekends. One of my favorite business trips was to this geothermal
plant somewhere in Luzon. Don't get me wrong, it was a geothermal
power plan that smelled like eggs; not a fun place for playful rowdy
children. Later on I found out the smell was the smell of sulfur. I
enjoyed going to the power plant because I knew that the side trip
would be to Baguio city and believe you me, Baguio City in the 1970's
is the best version of Baguio compared to what we see today.
SCHOOL
I went to a private co-ed school located inside Dasmarinas Village in
Makati. There was a time a felt insecure about going to this school
as it was full of rich children. At times I tell myself that I do not
belong here. At the start of every School year, my peers will go to
school with everything new from shoes to uniforms and bags. As for
me, if it still fits it is reused. It was a bit embarrassing for me
especially for those who noticed, specially the bullies. Be that as it
may, it was in this same school that I found my life-long friends.
These are the people who saw me for what I am and not for what I have
or do not have. One fond experience I had in school, though admittedly
I hope my children do not get to read this as it is something I do not
want them to emulate, was when almost all the male students in our
class cut-class in the afternoon to celebrate the birthday of one of
my friends. Needless to say, the following day when we attended
school, our little exploit did not go unnoticed. Although it was a bad
example, but it still highlights one of the things I hold dear to this
day, "all for one and one for all". It is consistent with what was I
learned at home that family comes first; although now it's channeled
to something more positive. I Promise.
WORK EXPERIENCE
Admittedly, my life experiences did not necessarily help me prepare
for the work environment. As many of us would know by now, life as a
student was far different from life at work. There were now real
consequences in what we do and not just a mere failing grade.
Early in my career I learned to fend for myself. I remember my first
day at work, nobody taught me what to do I had to learn it on my own;
a classic example were reports. My first job required a lot of weekly
reporting to be prepared and I was frustrated with the fact that when
I ask the other employees what to do, they weren't very helpful. Is
this the new guy treatment? I had to be resourceful so I simply
studied all the previous reports and analyzed where the data came
from, how to interpret the data and prepare the summary reports.
Obviously I made errors at the start and then later on got the reports
right. A pessimistic person would look at this as a bad experience;
however, this did teach me the value of not being dependent on others
and that I can do things on my own with a lot of effort and sacrifice.
This prepared me later on when I was transferred to Cebu when I joined
another company. Now this is a classic example of the old adage, "out
of the frying pan and into the fire". Not only was I in a different
environment but I was away from head office and as most people who
work outside the home office have experienced, getting support from
the home office is quite difficult and you again learn to fend for
yourself. I became resourceful and resilient. I never believed in
blaming the lack of support as a reason for not being able to deliver
what was expected of me. I just had to learn to make use of what I
have. An example of this would be company events. Back in home
office they have all the staff and resources they would need to
support and run company events. Here in Cebu, there's just me. I've
learned to multitask and use influence to ask other employees to help
out even though it is not their concern or part of their KPI. I
remember one event where the head of marketing said that the event in
Cebu that I organized was better than the one in Manila. This was a
feather on my cap and an ego boost as well.
My Family, School and Work have and continue to mold me as a person
and as a professional. I continue to evolve as I work on my
weaknesses and reinforce my strengths
INTERNAL – VALUES, STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES
Now that I am doing this reflection paper on my experiences, it is
very glaring to me that a lot of my values, strengths and weaknesses
were shaped by my life experiences.
One value that I hold in high regard and shapes a lot of my decisions
on both the personal and professional level is my value of Family. It
amuses me to realize that I have practically followed the steps of my
Father, unconsciously at that. Just like him when I was growing up, I
am now in a career that also requires a lot of travelling and just
like my father I value quality time to make up for the lack of
quantity in terms of days and hours with my family. Just like my
father, many times when I had to work on weekends I have brought my
family with me in my business trips. I remember one occasion, where
my wife was starting to be bothered with my absence, I surprised her
by buying her a ticket to Davao to join me over the weekend as work
required me to stay in Davao for two weeks. When she had to go back to
Cebu, I was pleasantly surprised that she left a small thank you note
with the front desk of our hotel. To this day, I've kept the note as
a constant reminder to spend quality time with my family. Just like my
father, I work hard for my family. It is not career advancement that
motivates me but the ability to provide a lifestyle that my family
enjoys is my own reward. When work gets too hard, when I get so
stressed at work, when I am on the brink of calling it quits, I always
remind myself I do this for them. If my father could do it, so can I
because I want to be a better version of my Dad. I think now that
this is the best way for me to pay him back for what he has done for
us. As I write this paper, I now recall a conversation we had a few
Christmases ago. We were talking about our recent trip to Hongkong as
a family. My father was apologetic telling me that he was sorry for
not being able to bring me and my siblings for vacation outside the
country when we were young. I was touched and at the same time felt
bad for his sentiment. I had to reassure him that we never asked for
it when we were growing up and that we were more than happy for what
he was able to provide so why should he feel bad and that travelling
was different then compared to now. They didn't have "Peso" fares
back then. Again it just continues to highlight our shared value of
family first and quality time with the family.
As for my strengths and weakness, easily I can see where these came
from. My experiences in school taught me the value of friendships and
accepting people for what they are. Although I did not elaborate on
the subject, both family and school grounded me on my Catholic faith.
My experiences at work taught the value of independence, being
resourceful as these are just a few of my traits that I consider as my
strength. As to weakness, in some way some of my insecurities were
born from my experiences at school, sometimes I feel that I am not
good enough and therefore I have high expectations of myself and at
times leads to low if not lack of self-confidence. On the other hand,
independence and being self-reliant are good traits; however, the
downside is that I tend to do too much on my own and I sometimes find
myself being overwhelmed with work.
HOW DO THEY PREPARE YOU FOR THE FUTURE
As it was true then, it is still true until today that Family will
always be at the core of being. I have declined promotions or offers
to join other companies that necessitated me to transfer to Manila.
This may be a bad decision in terms of career; however, career is not
as important to me as family. I do not want my family to be uprooted
just for the sake of my career. We lead happy lives now and there is
no need for them to experience the trauma to adjusting to a different
life in Manila.
Like any other reflection on our strengths and weaknesses, for a me to
be a better person and professional in my life of work I continue to
take advantage of my strengths and in the future continue to work on
my weaknesses. I should learn to take a little more easy, not to be
too hard on myself as I believe now that this is one my sources of
stress these days. And like anyone else, if you want to lead a long
and happy life, we need to learn to handle stress. I should also
learn to be better appreciate of what I have done. With utmost
humility, many people have been thankful on how I was able to
positively impact their lives. Of course the cynical would simply
dismiss these gestures; but I should look at these complements to
reassure myself that I am doing ok, that my effort matters and it is
appreciated.
What is the new learning?
Now that I am at the end of the reflection paper, I am thankful that I
have realized that a lot of my past experiences that I have taken for
granted has indeed shaped me to what I am today. On a personal note,
Family is not just my wife and children, but I should also spend more
time with my mother and father. Let's face it they do not have many
years left and it's about time we give them the same quality time they
had given me all through my life. The same realization only reminds
me the value of the formative years of my children; that I should
continue to be a positive presence in their lives. That what I do,
how I treat them will teach them lessons that will they will carry for
the rest of their lives. It puts new meaning in the old adage, "the
hand that rocks the cradle, controls the world".
What is the relation to what I already know?
As mentioned many times already on this reflection paper, I benchmark
myself against what my father has already done. I hope that I was
able to show clearly how much I admire and love this man. However, I
have begun to realize that I hope that I am not unconsciously teaching
my children the same personal mission of being better than their
father. On hindsight, instead of instilling in them the same mindset
of being better than their father, I would rather have my children be
the best that they can be. Not to compare themselves to others but
instead strive to maximize their fullest potential and not live in the
shadow of someone else.
What have I done, am doing, will be doing for this topic?
Consistent to almost all the reflection papers I have submitted not
just in this course but in my previous courses as well, I accept the
fact that I am still a work in progress. I have weaknesses that
hinder my ability to be the best person I could be at home and at
work. These weaknesses only amplifies what I already know about my
ability to lead. Leadership requires self-confidence and at the end
of this paper I believe that I have finally uncovered the root cause
of issues regarding leadership, that maybe I am being too hard on
myself and that the confidence that people have shown on my
capabilities should also be reflected in the way I conduct myself at
work.
