Cebu Regis Leadership: Leader Izumi G. Yamashita Final Integrating Paper

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From: Izumi Yamashita <izumi.yamashita@firstmetro.com.ph>
Date: 18 January 2016 at 09:06
Subject: Fwd: Cebu Regis Leadership: Leader Izumi G. Yamashita Final Integrating Paper
To: profjorge.entrep@gmail.com, profjorge.entrep.ateneoleader@blogger.com, Gem Reuyan <gsreuyan@gmail.com>

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From: Izumi Yamashita <izumi.yamashita@firstmetro.com.ph>
Date: Mon, Jan 18, 2016 at 8:35 AM
Subject: Fwd: Cebu Regis Leadership: Leader Izumi G. Yamashita Final Integrating Paper
To: Gem Reuyan <gsreuyan@gmail.com>

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Izumi Yamashita <izumi.yamashita@firstmetro.com.ph>
Date: Sun, Jan 17, 2016 at 11:13 PM
Subject: Cebu Regis Leadership: Leader Izumi G. Yamashita Final Integrating Paper
To: profjorge.entrep.ateneoleader@blogger.com  <we gave those who did not submit 1/17 up to 4 pm of 1/18 to submit without being considered late paper>

Cebu Regis Leadership

Leader Izumi G. Yamashita

Final Integrating Paper

As you may already know, this class is my second to the last class before I finally receive my MBA degree. Truth be told, I didn't see what there was to teach on Leadership or how it could be taught for that matter. Now, I cannot be thankful enough for having been privileged to have this subject and actually unexpectedly rediscover myself, or better yet, fully understand my personality, my being, or just my whole existence.

Prior to taking this class, I was really convinced that I needed to go through some psychotherapy sessions in order to come to terms with my own long repressed personal issues and monsters, which I believed were caused by a lot of what transpired in my family growing up. It is because of these issues that my personal "anchor" and self-confidence often disappear causing me to get thrown over whenever huge waves come my way.  <are you ready to pay what you should have paid the NP therapist ?)

What this class had blessed me with is the ability to dig, reflect, understand, and reframe my personal experiences in such a way that I could use them to my advantage and emerge strong from whatever circumstance or struggle I may encounter moving forward. I have ultimately discovered a new sense of appreciation for the people and events that influenced and turned me into who and what I am now. Leadership ultimately gave me a new perspective in life. <solved! no more repressed feelings and at times depression>

I. WHERE AM I NOW?

Let's begin with the basics. My name is Izumi Galdo Yamashita. I am 26 years old and I am an Investment Banker. I am also a graduating MBA student who started my whole post-graduate studies strong and aims to finish even stronger hoping to achieve the much-coveted honors distinction.

MY PERSONALITY: ENNEAGRAM ANALYSIS

I am an Achiever – a Type 3 person. I am adaptable, excelling, driven, and image-conscious.

As I Type 3 person, I need to be validated in order to feel worthy. I pursue success and want to be admired. I am hardworking, highly driven and ambitious, extremely competitive, and highly focused in the pursuit of my goals. I always find areas in which I can excel in order to find external approbation or to attain validation.

Socially, I am competent, extroverted, and some would say, charismatic. I know how to present myself, am self-confident, practical, and driven. I have a lot of energy and often embody a kind of zest for life that others find contagious. I am also a good networker. But, while I tend to succeed in whatever realm I focus my energies on, I am indeed afraid of becoming a "loser".

I find intimacy and attachment difficult. My need to be validated for my image hides a deep sense of shame about who I really am, a shame I unconsciously fear will be unmasked if another gets too close. I am generous and likable, but really difficult to know. When unhealthy, my narcissism takes an ugly turn and I tend to become cold blooded and ruthless in the pursuit of my goals. (Eclectic Energies)

Aside from being an Achiever, I am also a Type 2 person, a Helper.

I am generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive, but for the most part, I am this way because I need to be needed.

As a Type 2 person, I essentially feel that I am worthy insofar as I am helpful to others. Love is my highest ideal and selflessness is my duty. Giving to others is my reason for being which is why I tend to be involved and socially aware.

As a Helper, I am a warm and emotional person who cares a great deal about my personal relationships, devote an enormous energy to them, and expect to be appreciated for my efforts. Helping others makes me feel good about myself, being needed makes me feel important, and being selfless makes me feel virtuous.  I am thoroughly convinced of my selflessness, and it is true that I am frequently genuinely helpful and concerned about others. It is equally true though that I require appreciation; that I need to be needed.

Helping others often meet my needs that I often forget to take care of my own. This often leads to physical burnout, emotional exhaustion, and emotional volatility. I need to learn that I can only be of true service to other if I am healthy, balanced, and centered in myself.

As a Helper, I am proud and have a strong sense of my own worth.

Lastly, I am an Individualist – a Type 4 person. I am expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental. I am an identity seeker who feels unique and different.

I build my identity around my perception of myself as being somehow unique or different, thus making me self-conscious. I see my difference from others as being both a gift and a curse – a gift, because it sets me apart from those I perceive as being somehow "common", and a curse, as it often seems to separate me from the simpler forms of happiness that others so readily seem to enjoy.

I often manage to feel superior to others while also secretly harboring some degree of longing and envy. A feeling of being a true member of the "true aristocracy" alternates with deeps feelings of shame, and fears of somehow being deeply flawed or defective.

As a Type 4 person, I am emotionally complex and highly sensitive. I long to be understood and appreciated for my authentic self, but easily feel misunderstood and unappreciated. I have a tendency to withdraw in the face of a world that seems harsh or crude. I am also often somewhat moody or temperamental.

I am emotionally centered and spend much of my time immersed in my internal mental landscapes, where I feel free to cultivate and analyze my feelings. I am somewhat melancholic by disposition, and under stress tend to lapse into depression. I also tend to be self-absorbed, even under the best of circumstances, but when unbalanced, easily give way to self-indulgence, which I perceive as being fully justified as a way to compensate for the general lack of pleasure I experience in my life.

Why am I the way I am?

J. CAMPBELL, MY LIFE STORY, AND THE FACTORS THAT SHAPED ME (REFLECTION PAPER #2)

I believe the best way to begin is to retell my life story incorporating the factors that shaped me, my defining moments, my genogram, and eventually, to finding my passion being the last part of my hero story.

(J. CAMPBELL 1) THE ORDINARY WORLD:  The hero, uneasy, uncomfortable or unaware, is introduced sympathetically so the audience can identify with the situation or dilemma.  The hero is shown against a background of environment, heredity, and personal history.  Some kind of polarity in the hero's life is pulling in different directions and causing stress.

I was born in a broken family. My father left us when I was one. My mother left me when I was only four only to be taken care of by my grandparents.

I was a lolo's girl but by grandpa died just when I was six. My grandmother took charge of taking care of me and my aunt – two kids of the same age. Having to experience living with 100 pesos a day, sometimes even less up to the time we graduated college, our life was nowhere near comfortable. This is probably why my grandmother often resorted to verbal or physical abuse out of the stress having to care for us and survive us.

Because of my grandmother's abusiveness, I felt resentment towards her. I also resented my mom because I felt it was her fault that I am experiencing what I was experiencing.

(J. CAMPBELL 2) THE CALL TO ADVENTURE:  Something shakes up the situation, either from external pressures or from something rising up from deep within, so the hero must face the beginnings of change. 

As I was growing, my grandmother's abusive behavior only got worse; perhaps because my rebellious behavior was starting to show too.

When I entered high school, I discovered a new world – one that's far from my primary school; one that's not sheltered. I met a lot of new friends. Because of my situation at home, I often found comfort in the company of friends, outside of my home. I'd leave the house early, attend school from 8am to 3pm then off to somewhere with my friends, then get home at around 10 or 11PM. My grandmother hated this. She threw baseless accusations at me and became even more verbally and physically abusive than ever. I wasn't really doing anything to harm myself. I just couldn't stand being at home. That's it.

When my grandmother couldn't get me to follow what she wants, she started talking around. Next thing I know, I was the favorite topic of my relatives. There's the "walang mararating yang batang yan", "hindi yan makakatapos ng pag-aaral", and the worst, "patapon palibhasa iniwanan ng magulang".

This struck a particular chord, which made me so furious bad enough that I so badly wanted to prove them wrong. From then on, all I ever wanted, everything I undertook was meant to see the day I'd be making them eat every cruel word they've ever said about me.  

(J. CAMPBELL 3) REFUSAL OF THE CALL:  The hero feels the fear of the unknown and tries to turn away from the adventure, however briefly.  Alternately, another character may express the uncertainty and danger ahead.

I wanted to prove them wrong but I also didn't want them to think I was giving in and was doing what wanted me to do. I told myself that since it's what they think of me, might as well prove them right and give them the worst days of their lives.

So I went on with my old ways, even worse. I spent a lot more time with friends. I barely went to class and sometimes I don't even go home. I learned how to smoke, drink, and even do drugs. Eventually, my world revolved around my friends and my relationship.

REFLECTION PAPER NO.1: DEFINING MOMENTS

From the point of my life's major ordeal, everything has just been my defining moment; from losing all my friends who I considered as my family, to losing my job, to seemingly having proven for a moment that my relatives were right that I am worth no good or good for nothing, to meeting new people who showed me a totally different world, a totally different way of being; to showing me that there's so much more to me and everything around me that I fail to realize, up to this day after going through the entire Leadership course, everything just turned me into what and who I am now. Everything else that happened in my past was just preparatory to a bigger role that I am destined to play and this course helped be realize that purpose.

(J. CAMPBELL 4) THE ORDEAL:  Near the middle of the story, the hero enters a central space in the Special World and confronts death or faces his or her greatest fear.  Out of the moment of death comes a new life. 

I went on with my ways until I was already working. One day, I found out my boyfriend of four years was cheating on me with my best friend. To make things worse, they managed to justify their inconceivable act of betrayal by turning everyone against me. All I had then were my friends so when this happened, I was left with nothing. Suddenly I was alone. Those whom I considered as my family were all gone.

At the same time all these things were happening, I was also having problems with my career and a worsening relationship with my family. Having been told so many times in the past that I wouldn't amount to anything, I grabbed the first job I was offered regardless of the task on hand, the career path, and the pay because I so badly wanted to show off and prove those people who judged me once that I can succeed. I was unhappy, but I had to stick up to it because I could not afford to show people how miserable I was. However, the more I was trying to swim in the miserable career situation I was in all the more I felt I was being sucked deep into the ground. I was imploding and it was resonating with my personal relationships, with my performance at work, and worst with myself.