Dear Prof. Jorge,
Please see my Reflection Paper No. 3 below.
Regards,
G Reuyan
Angelina Jolie, left, and Kristen Stewart, right, star in the campaign, which uses his satirical Neo Pop Art as a tool to raise awareness and reflection about important social and cultural issues (Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3341485/Kim-Kardashian-Kendall-Jenner-Emma-Watson-given-black-eyes-bruises-shocking-domestic-violence-campaign.html)
My Passion
To give voice to woman and children who are
victims of domestic abuse
"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away." Pablo Picasso
There are certain things in life that we feel strongly about...things that tug at the strings of our hearts and touch the deepest recesses of our souls…things that haunt us at night and will keep us awake until and unless we do something about it. Some of these things erode human dignity and somehow unravel the bonds that tie humanity together. There could be a lot of these things in reality. But violence done against women and children is one that really impels me to action, to put up a fight, and at the same time to be a healer of the wounds and deep scars sustained by the afflicted in the midst and in the wake of these maelstroms.
How did I know that this is my passion?
Violence against women and children is a nightmare I am most aware of and a nightmare I fervently aspire to stop from taking place in the lives of others, especially women and children who easily fall prey to the abuses perpetuated unfortunately by other human beings. My entanglement with this advocacy to stop the violence came to me in an indirect and vicarious way. I am happy I'm not and never was a victim of violence. But the pain and agony as well as the dismal reality of violence was brought home to me when I started law school and when as a lawyer women came to me bringing with them their appalling stories and an ardent plea for help.
I first heard the story of Marivic way back in law school. Albeit it was the not first case I heard it was etched in my mind because of the tragic consequence. If I remember it right it was part of our discussion in Criminal Law – a subject in law school. Then, the discussion was purely academic, absent any emotional upheaval that usually comes with the real life drama entailed in real life domestic violence. The subject of our case study at that time was Marivic – a schoolteacher who was married to a husband whose temperament is comparable to the riotous typhoons of the Pacific. The almost two decades of Marivic's marriage was riddled with violent episodes some of which pushed Marivic to the brink of death. Marivic's physical condition all through the years of battery in the hands of her husband was more macabre and somber than the punching bag of Manny Pacquiao. Her mental and psychological constitution was also devastated by the repeated abuse done to her by a person she love and thought loved her back. But Marivic was one brave soul. Imagine the physical agony and mental anguish that she soldiers on everyday just to put up a brave face in front of her class in school to give the kids a semblance of a normal placid reality – a façade that conceals the gruesome nightmare behind the curtain of a seemingly benign marital life. Episode after episode of violence from day to day finally drove Marivic into killing her husband. Prosecuted in court for parricide Marivic blamed herself for her fate…telling the court that it was all her fault.
Women are most vulnerable to violence. Studies will show that domestic violence against women and children is high compared than to male victims. Mental experts likewise say that a woman who suffers from battered woman syndrome believe that:
· the violence was her fault
· is unable to place the responsibility for the violence elsewhere
· fears for her life and/or her children's lives
· has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient.
Because of this prevalent mentality many if not most women easily get caught up in a vicious cycle of violence.
But has anything been done? Is our government aware of this? If so, what is the current status of response?
Well, in 2006, Philippine Congress passed into law Republic Act 9262 or the Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Law. This law however did not eradicate or at least minimize the incidents of domestic violence. Cases are still in a continuous rise despite harsher penalties and institutionalized mechanisms to address the evils of domestic violence.
And violence can take many forms. People recognize easily physical violence but neglect that violence can come in the form of verbal abuse, psychological violence or economic abuse which leave deep emotional injuries not easily seen by the vast majority.
How is it reflected in you work, daily life, and life's journey?
I remember the case of Maria (not her real name). In my first year as a lawyer this working mother of two approached me seeking redress for what she describe to me was an oppressive relationship with her lawfully wedded husband. Day in and day out she works herself to the point of exhaustion just to provide for the family only to come home to a husband either lion drunk or dead drunk. Her husband wasted away their resources in vices. I advised her then to separate from her husband but she cannot because her relatives prevailed on her saying: "What God has put together let no man put asunder." But what if the marital life for a woman like my client was a living hell? Should I be complicit to the perpetuation of her unfortunate circumstance? Or should I stand together with this woman and offer her. I learned that some people get so blinded with the biases that they were so accustomed to they fail to see the present. I thus resolve to stand up against ignorance and made a vow to inform and educate as many "kabaro" as I can. Maria's journey which I became her privileged companion ended well. I won the court battle for her, hopefully I won her mind and heart too!
But recently, two women Ann and Goldie (also, not their real names) came to me for help. Both are married and have kids. The former was abandoned left on her own to fend for herself and her two very young children. The latter was put to public humiliation because of the philandering ways of her husband. I told them that they have legal recourses. But both of them are hesitant for the same reason…they need their husbands.
What drives your resource engine?
In the faces and in the narratives shared to me by these women I can sense the helplessness and the dilemma that tears their consciences apart. Many women despite the existence of several laws protecting and enhancing their rights are still stuck to their miserable conditions. It is my vision that the violence would stop. I see it in the near future by banishing ignorance and by making women more resilient. This I plan to do in a two-pronged approach. I will dedicate my life in this planet to making all women well informed of their rights and then empowering them by giving them financial independence. It is in this accord that I will undertake to form a group educating women of their rights. I will start it with our neighbors and friends. I will also create a facebook account or a website for this purpose. Second, I will coordinate with an NGO for assistance in providing a livelihood program. I will start it in my husband's hometown where rampant cybercrime victimizes so many children and women. This I hope to accomplish in my own little way.
Know that, domestic violence is a slow lingering sure death for many women who suffer in silent anguish. Although not all end in tragic physical death but many are living like zombies trapped in a world of meaningless agony. The law and the judicial process is not enough to eradicate this menace in our society. That's why I am here in front all of you to bare the sad plight of many women today who suffer in silence. I am here in front of you today as a voice for all the women who have none or lost the tenacity to speak up for themselves.. I enjoin you to join me in this noble endeavor and crusade. Herculean the task maybe but it's worth all the while in the world. Let us together empower the women…so that those in the darkness may see the brilliance of their own light. Let us rise up against violence. END VIOLENCE NOW!
1. What is the new learning?
Each of us, regardless of who we are, can do our share to make the world a better place to live. In my case, I chose something that is related to my profession and something that I can relate to as a woman. Each of us is gifted with talents and skills and it's up to us to make it useful. I never thought I would find much more meaning helping abused women and children. Even if it is made for free, it is more rewarding to know that you have helped saved a life and gave others a hope for a better future.
2. What is the relation to what I already know?
One of the four pillars of success is heroism. I like the statement made by Cris Lowney that "Leaders imagine an inspiring future and strive to shape it rather than passively watching the future happen around them. Heroes extract gold from the opportunities at hand rather than waiting for golden opportunities to be handed to them". Answering the call of helping abused women and children for me is a form of heroism. I expect no reward from this advocacy but the fulfillment of knowing that a person could live her life better is something money cannot buy.
3. What have I done, am doing, will be doing for this topic?
As mentioned in my speech, creating awareness could help alleviate violence against women and children. I will continue this passion with a hope that at least in my own little way, I can contribute to the betterment of our society. With this advocacy, I may not lead or manage a battalion of men, but I am thankful that I am able to lead myself to this crucial leadership challenge.
Articles on Domestic Violence:
Angelina Jolie, the award-winning actress, 40, who is the special envoy to the United Nations High Commission for Refugees, sat on a panel of foreign leaders to deliver a speech at the biannual event, held in Johannesburg and Pretoria, South Africa, in 2015.
"There is a global epidemic of violence against women – both within conflict zones and within societies at peace – and it is still treated as a lesser crime and lower priority," the actress-director told the crowded ballroom.
"The near-total impunity that exists worldwide for crimes against women, in conflict zones in particular, means that we are seeing more and more armed groups turn it into their weapon of choice. Women and girls are bearing the brunt of extremists that revel in treating them barbarically. This is inextricably linked to our overall failure to prevent and end conflicts worldwide, which is causing human suffering on an unprecedented level."
A-listers, including Kim Kardashian, have been given bruises and black eyes by artist and activist, Alexsandro Palombo, for the No Women is Immune from Domestic Violence. The goal, he says, is to persuade all victims of abuse to break the silence and raise awareness that all women can be subject to abuse and that no one is immune, even if you live a fairytale life like celebrities.
'Domestic violence is a social cancer that knows no boundaries nor social status, it can affect anyone, whether you're an ordinary person or a celebrity. 'To defeat him you need to use the antidote of culture by educating and raising awareness on Respect and Equality. Each of us has do their part to help increase awareness and to change things by any means.'
Back in 2010, reality TV star Kim Kardashian suffered domestic violence at the hands of her ex-husband Damon Thomas, according to allegations in uncovered court papers.
Kim claimed the music producer repeatedly beat her and demanded to know where she was at every minute of the day.
Kim, now married to Kanye West, eloped to Las Vegas, and married Thomas in January 2000 - when she was just 19. They split three years later. Thomas's controlling personality was laid bare by Kim in the couple's divorce papers, which were filed at Los Angeles Superior Court back in 2003. According to the documents, Thomas would punch her in the face, slam her against walls and throw her across the room, leaving her bruised and battered. Thomas, who has worked with artists such as Lionel Richie and Pink, even forced Kim to quit jobs and college, poisoned her mind against her own family and would not let her see her friends, the papers claimed.
'Damon decided what we would do and when we would do it. He was very much the "King of the castle",' she said.
Palombo, who also features Madonna, left, and Gwen Stefani in his disfigured images, said: 'Domestic violence is a social cancer that knows no boundaries nor social status, it can affect anyone, whether you're an ordinary person or a celebrity'
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