Reflection Paper 1 - Defining Moments Leader Mel Flores

DEFINING MOMENTS

Church of the Holy Spirit, Upper Thomson Road, Singapore

December 2011.

For several months since I delivered my first-born child, I am in a predicament.  While attending a mass at the Church of the Holy Spirit in December 2011, I have deeply prayed, and with close eyes I have silently asked God for guidance.  As a faithful but a practical catholic, I was hoping to be relieved and did not expect any miracle out of it.  But when I opened my eyes, I felt like there was full blown light in the Church,suddenly I felt elated and my mind seemed cleared that I felt I know exactly what I am supposed to do.

Back in 2008, I was happy and content with my life.  I was working for a government agency that provides adequate compensation to finance my personal and partially support my parent's needs.  I was physically active, playing badminton every weekend with huge group of friends.  I was in a relationship with whom I get to travel and enjoy numerous gimiks with friends.  That was up until my sister finally convinced me to try to work abroad,to expand my horizon and explore the better or best things in life.  So I resigned from my job, bid farewell to my friends, packed my things and ventured to a world unknown. (Lesson learned: there will come a time, by your own choice or not, that you have to embrace changes in order to grow).

After several months of job hunting in UAE, I was hired as a management accountant by a multinational Company based in Dubai in April 2009. The company provides ship repair and maintenance services with established stations across Asia, Europe and America. I have been selected by the Vice President for Worldwide Asia and worked under him specifically tasked to analyze the financial statements of twelve (12) Asian stations, i.e. Singapore, China, Korea, Jakarta, India, Dubai, Saudi, Philippines, etc.In July 2009, my supervisor relocated in Singapore.  And since our work entails close coordination with each other, I was also required to relocate with him. My sister wanted me to work abroad so she can have someone with her in UAE, however, due to these turn of events, we ended up both working abroad but away from each other.  (Lesson learned: No matter how much you plan, things lay out to where they're supposed to be). 

This job must be the best that I could get.  I was operating and dealing constantly with highly intellectual finance and country managers from all over Asia and working under a very sharp and intelligent supervisor that I have learned a lot from him and from the job in a span of three (3) years, substantially more than what I gained from my 8-year work experience in the Philippines.  Since I was working with persons from different time zones and under a strict workaholic supervisor, my job required me to work twelve (12) or more hours consistently every day, demanded me to stay connected 24 hours on e-mail and entailed me to always be on alert for phone calls at any time of the day.  It was a demanding but enriching, tiring but fulfilling job.  At times, it was draining, but remarkably it was a job that I have come to enjoy and love.  (Lesson learned: Only you can set the limits of your possibilities). 

However, after getting married and delivering my first-born child,there was a point that I had to stop and assess, "Is this the life that I want to keep?"

My life in Singapore has become routinary.  From Monday to Friday (dawn till midnight) I work;on weekends, regularly on Saturdays, I play badminton with a group of fellow filipino professionals;on Sundays, I attend catholic mass and do the household chores – washing, ironing clothes and cooking for one week meals.  My weekends would be hectic depending on how much more time I need to finish some more work.  In between I travel from Singapore to Manila for vacation, or to other Asian countries for work. This has been going for the past three years. 

I was routinely living juggling work, family and personal activities. It was self-centered and I felt bare.  If I continue doing this, definitely five years or ten years from now – I will feel unfulfilled.  So I thought I had to make changes.  But what changes?

Maybe once in our life, we go through this process.  It sounds rhetoric but yes I have asked myself this question - "What would make me ultimately happy?".Then I realized, those moments that I felt genuinely happy are the moments shared with people, friends, colleagues and family; not those times spent on fancy restaurants, eating first class menus, not those days navigating the best views of the first-world countries and never those nights slept in a 5-star hotel.  It was vividly those times when you see other people happy, most especially when you cause them to be.My inquisitive mind also asked, "Why am I here?", "What is the reason of my being here?".  Then I recognized that I should not contain my happiness to seeing my colleagues, my friends and my family happy.  I should reach out for more people.  Maybe having fulfilled my basic needs, I am at a stage of my life, that I can and need to give back.  And there goes my predicament. (Lesson learned: The best source of happiness is to spread it to others).  

I have the best job in Singapore with relatively good compensation package.  Having stayed here for three (3) years, gives me the option to acquire permanent residency or citizenship and settle with my family.  My child will then have the chance to get high quality education under the Singapore curriculum which is among the best in the world.  Though I would like to traditionally raise her the way Filipinos in the Philippines are educated and trained.

As I acknowledge my duty to give back to community, I wanted to specifically serve the Filipino community.  But apparently, this can only be effectively achieved by going back to Philippines.  Thus, I had to decide if I should give up my career, a stable and secured environment for my family and plunge to numerous uncertainties to pursue my social duties.  I didn't rush to a decision and took time to evaluate my options.

At this instance I am forced to decide whether to pursue a self-fulfilling life or endeavor to live for others.  But on that day in December 2011, at the Church of the Holy Spirit, it was made clear to me, where I should be.  Thus in January 2012, I filed my resignation and rendered a 3-month notice period.  And in April 2012, I came back to Philippines, for good.

Three years later, I am now leading the Finance Department of a government agency, the same agency that I worked for before going overseas.  My family settled in Metro Manila in a simple home where family and friends occasionally gather and meet.  Together with family and friends, I have so far organized two (2) events sharing blessings to groups of kids.  I hope to be able to do more and influence others to cater more of those in need.

Out of that decision I made in 2011, I have yet to become that person that I want to be, yet to achieve the most that I could, but little by little…..I know I am becoming the best that I should be – a leader with a purpose.  (Best Lesson learned - They alone live, who live for others).