Revised Reflection Paper 1 by Leader Alex - Defining Moments

September 25, 2015

Alexis Tan reflection

The leader in Me

• Let me be loved by my followers.

Reflection on  Leadership

For Ateneo MBA

by Alex Tan

I came from humble beginnings, hard as many might imagine. I'm just a provincial boy, growing up in backward Cebu. Back then i knew nothing of hardships, politics, traffic and crime. I hear about it in TVs, but Manila looks so far away, like a different country it seems. But then again, it seems like destiny calls me here, as what they say: Go where the Romans go. So here I am in Manila, excited but anxious towards a new beginning. A new place, but with no friends and away from my family. Going to school here and living here and getting a job here seems a normal thing do here. But in my experience, here is where I grew up a little bit faster, here is where I done things that I never thought possible. It's a blessing and a curse at the same time. This is how I came to know of Leadership within me.

My new learning about leadership is that it starts with a choice. The choice to lead and the choice as to what kind of leader you want to be and the leadership style that you want to impose, reflecting my authentic style of leadership. To know one's goal is about starting an action with an end in mind. And true enough highly successful leaders have the same characteristics and pathways towards achieving their goals. Everyone has the ability to lead, but leadership requires a lot of deliberate actions, learnings and know how,there are different kinds of leadership, and more importantly how leaders were able to influence others to do what needs to be done. I also ask learned the different characteristics of a good leader. I learned that leading by example is important, but i need to in vibe the true meaning of leadership, and that is love for those I lead, I believe that when and if the leaders can show mutual respect and love towards their followers, they tend to be more productive and perform better despite the challenges they are facing.One more learning that i discovered is that Empathy is an important ingredient to becoming a great leader. Often times this characteristic is set aside due to the assumption that this is a characteristic of the weak. I learned that Empathy is not only a result of someone emotional skill and life experiences, and that this can be learned through time. I know now that this requires a lot of practice and commitment from myself, even more I may need to enlist help from others to not only provided feedback on my skills to emphatize but also to observe me in my collaboration with  other people and people that I work with. It may also require me to ask aid from a mentor or a colleague that has a high level of EQ, and Empathy to demonstrate this skill and observe them in their dealings with others.

I thought that being a leader is easy, i thought that gaining respect and feeling important was because of the role of being a leader, i didn't know the sacrifice and the dangers of being a true leader, to gain respect and be followed by others. I was misguided to believe that being a leader would take me closer to being recognised and  valued by others. I thought that leadership is just a result of training and leanage. i soon discovered that being a leader means that you will carry the burden and responsibility of your constituents. Self motivation is also as important, coz there will be no one to bring energy and enthusiasm more than you can on your own. That and being better at EQ. Most importantly, i now know the relationship of leadership and EQ. As some researches would say that EQ more important in a Leadership role than IQ. And that by seeing the high level of EQ in a manager or a leader usually entails success in his team.I also learned that Self control is one of the characteristic of a well like and respected leader. For what I discovered, by controlling my emotions and reaction to situations, it allows me to assess the situation more objectively and that i evaluate first my reaction towards others and that I should be careful in the words that I say to others and most especially to my family and loved ones.

As a manager, what I've done before was that I would force others to do my bidding and influence them based on my superiority or authority over them. That is not true leadership. But then now I discovered that in the future, I would like to learn to lead with compassion and empathy, but at the same time, instill discipline and sense of responsibility with the purpose of empowering those whom I lead to their gain and personal development. Using the lessons and words of the Lord, I intend to practice and apply good leadership in my workplace, in my relationships, in my community and most especially in my family. To be a better leader than I ever been is by goal from the start. And thus my learning wont stop there. I also intend to continue learning, as constantly changing world needs a leader that can adapt to change quicker and can match the leadership style that he will employ, depending on the situation at hand.

The incidents that taught me to be better was the time when my 1st child was born, This event in my life motivated me to try to be a better person and wished to learn to be the best that I can be, so that I could lead my family not only to a better life, but also a life led by God and guided by his life and words in the Bible.

The time when I lost of my father to a hearth attack was also a defining moment for me. When he suddenly died, it forced me to take charge of our family. As the only son, our family look up to me for comfort and guidance. Thats when I learned the responsibility that my father had to bear for our family. Needless to say I was overwhelmed with grief and sadness, but by thinking of my mother and my sister, I took it upon my self to be courageous and strong for our family. Now as years passed, i still remember those times with sorrow and humility. But now I realised that it was Gods plan for me. His plan to mould me to be a leader for our family. And now that I have a family of my own, I now use the learnings and lessons I learned through that dark but fruitful times. I Thank the Lord for all His blessings and hope that I could use all his gifts in giving back to my community.