Reflection Paper 1 - Defining Moments by Leader Justin Quilon

Hi Prof. Jorge,

Good Day! 

Here's my Reflection 1 - Defining Moments by Justin Quilon

What were your defining moments?  What incidents events taught you to be better/transformed you.

In Don Bosco, I learned the saying "Begin with the end in mind". At this point, I would like to thank Prof. Jorge for giving us an opportunity to take a step back and reflect on our life. Amidst our busy schedule, this is a chance to be reminded of the things we've gone through, the challenges we've conquered, and the life lessons we got. I'll be sharing stories of my life in different parts. I hope to be a blessing to anyone who will be reading this article.

First, I would like to introduce myself, I'm Justin Quilon. I was born in a simple family. Both my parents got married when they were still young. They did not come from rich families. My grandparents in my mother side were poor. They need to support their 4 kids by sawing clothes. They have only 1 sawing machine. I am the eldest in our family. I have 2 siblings. We started our life very simple.

Here are some of my defining moments:

The Dad Situation (Family)

Early in our life, our dad left us. I was 7 at that time. I was with my Mom and my brother. I would love to have a complete family but life gave our family a different route. It was difficult for us because my mom is our only source when it comes to our finances. She needs to work really hard for us to sustain our education. I honestly don't know how we managed to survive those early times. Those were the crucial moments of our lives. I have to make a choice whether to be affected by our broken family or to be strong for my Mom and my brother. There was even a time that my Dad came back. This was during my grade school days and then eventually he would leave us again. When he left the second time, I now have 2 siblings. I consider this as my defining moment. I remembered sharing our situation with my high school Values Education teacher. She even asked me how I was able to do well with my grades both academic and technical subjects. I told her that my mom needs me. I have to be strong for my younger siblings. I have to lead them. Early in my life, I was leading myself. But most importantly, I was also leading my family. 

Brother in Need (Finances)

When I graduated college, I immediately looked for work so that I could help my family. My first job was in Smart Communications as an Engineer. As we know Smart during that time, they love to give bonuses. The first time I received my bonus, I became so excited that I bought a laptop. It literally depleted my financial resources. Unfortunately, something happened to my brother and we needed 120,000 pesos to get him out of the mess he was in. I haven't even experienced handling more than 30,000 pesos at that time. This was a defining moment in my life as I told myself that I will not let this happen again. I had no idea on how to handle my finances early on in my working life. I didn't bother to manage my money well. It was so hard for me to help my brother who needs me as I also don't have any financial resource for myself. I learned this lesson the hard way. I borrowed money from friends just to be able to help at least with a small portion of the needed amount. It was a great experience. Now, I manage my finances well. I am also leading my siblings and my family to manage their finances. I introduced stock investing which after a long wait; they are now interested and are starting to invest as well. I shared with them the financial jars and how to build a strong financial foundation. I always remind them to have an emergency fund for unexpected events. It is fun leading at the front. Without this experience, I would not have realized the need of handling my finances well. I am happy that I was able to lead my brothers and change their mindset when it comes to managing their money because soon they will be the head of their own family and it is one of their key responsibilities that is to provide for their family.

No Promotion (Formation)

When I was still working in Smart, this was one of my unforgettable experiences. When I started my career, I did not perform well. My idea or motto was "Ang Masipag, Pagod". That's it. I was burned out after I graduated college and I thought that working in Smart was my final destination. I didn't work hard at the start of my career. This was my mindset until both of my colleagues got promoted. We were three in the team and we all joined Smart at the same time. We have the same skills when it comes to our college background. I got affected because I was left out. This was a defining moment for me. It was actually an eye opener. I was so comfortable that I did not want to grow and develop myself anymore. This experienced changed me. It made me want to improve more. Though it was hard because I was stuck and comfortable with my current position at that time, I lead myself to move, to study, and to dream again. I chose to perform better in job. I enrolled in courses that I want to pursue. I trained myself to be the best in what I do. Though I did my best, I was still not promoted but this time I know I have improved a lot. I was a better person. So I promoted myself by looking for opportunities outside my comfort zone. I made a leap of faith and got a job at Regus. With God's grace, even before I started they called me and asked me if I was interested with a position higher that what I applied for. In short, I got promoted. I learned that when you lead yourself and improve your formation (train yourself, develop your skills) opportunities and blessings will follow.

No Team (Faction)

When I started working in Regus, they made me handle a team composed of 13 members. This was my first time to lead a team. The team was composed of members under a wide range of age brackets. I'll be interviewing, assessing, directing, people who are much older than me with more experience. This added to the challenge. During that time I was trying to lead by using the power from my Job title. I did not look out for my team. I focused on their faults. I was too kind at times and some took advantage of it. I promised things that I couldn't deliver. I have a lot to improve in terms of my leadership style. I did not notice it at first until one by one the members of the team left. Only 1 or 2 members remained. This was one of the lowest point in my career. It was a life changing experience. It was a humbling experience. Fortunately, I was given another chance by the new IT Director. He became my mentor in handling teams. He showed me how to become a great leader. I used the same formula in creating a fantastic culture in the teams I handle. People from other teams now want to join us. One of the lessons that I learned was "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care". I began caring for my team. They became my number 1 customer. We created a team that is rock solid with great culture. We help each improve and be the best. I now love creating teams. I am most of the time placed in a situation where I am building new teams. By the way, as a bonus, I was able to fix my relationship with my previous team members. Things change when you care for others especially when they see that you are sincere in helping them grow. I am now building other leaders in my team. I am praying for their success and hopefully they will be leading their own teams in the future. 

How God Returned my Smile back in 45 minutes (Faith)

It was just a normal day. 1 month before our Civil Wedding, I was playing street basketball with my neighbors. It was a close game. It was intense. Even though there were no bets at stake, we were playing as if there was a 1 Million peso prize to the winner. The scores were tied and each team just need 1 more point to win the game. The ball was with our opponent. One of our opponents made a shot and it missed. We were all going for the loose ball. I was the closest to the ball then suddenly someone from the other team stepped on my shoe and I slipped. I couldn't control my momentum and it seemed like I was flying horizontally. When I hit the ground my face crashed on the bunker. Remember it was street basketball we were playing. I heard a cracking sound then I felt my teeth and two of them got chipped. All of the players were stunned. Yet, I managed to sit back up on the ground. I told them I'm ok. I was very worried because my teeth got chipped and our wedding was near. I immediately went home with a pack of ice on my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to practice smiling. It was difficult to hide the chipped teeth. My ex girl friend at that time, who is now my wife, got so worried and called family members for help. I said sorry to her multiple times. At this point, I prayed. I prayed really hard. I don't see any solution to the the problem I have. I sought God's help. With God's grace, one of our family members recommended a dentist. It was already late at that time it was around 9PM. Though it was late, we still went to the dentist. I felt hopeless. When I met the dentist, he told me that he have had worst patients with really odd deformities already. Mine was just simple for him. He operated and reconstructed my teeth and after 45 minutes. I looked at the mirror and I was surprised. My teeth looked like nothing happened to them. They looked even better than before. I then realized that even if it may seem that the situation has zero hope I just have to lead myself to have faith, trust in God and a miracle will happen. Leaders should always have faith. It changes everything. God can bring back all that you have lost in an instant.

My last defining moment is my current situation.

Family Man (Family)

When I got married, I know that I have 4 duties as the head of the family. 

1. Lead the family

2. Love my wife and kids 

3. Provide the needs of the family

4. Protect my family

Our married life is really tough as me and my wife are opposites. The first part of our  marriage was easy. It was what they call the honeymoon stage. The next few years were difficult. We had challenges and conflicts when it comes to handling issues. As we get to know each other more we get to know more and more of the difference we have. This was really a big test for me because leading my family is part of my duty as the head of the family and it is really difficult to lead when you are always arguing. This is my work in progress. I am currently meeting with mentors and we as a couple are attending retreats and seminars to learn more on how we could improve our marriage. I learned a lot from my previous defining moments and I'll be using those experiences to help me lead my own family.

To lead my family, I will be leading myself first

To love my family, I will care for them and treat them as my number 1 customer 

To provide for my family's needs, I will handle our finances well and make sure that it will grow to secure the future of our kids

To protect my family, I will make them feel safe and secure with God in the center of our family

I know that I will still have other defining moments in my life. The journey to Leadership is full of lessons. I look forward to more defining moments. I know that God has placed a mission in my heart. No matter how many times I fall, I will still stand up, learn and lead.

Regards,

Justin  3.5