GENOGRAM
MARICEL AQUINO REYES-NGO
Father's side
My father's side is from Arayat Pampanga. They moved to Pasay City and opened a business as rice dealer. They bought a property in Taytay Rizal where they settled for good.
My grandfather is Zoilo Dungca Reyes born on July 27, 1910. He was a businessman selling crabs, rice and groceries. He died in 1998 due to old age. I remember him as a strict father to his children( my aunts and uncles). My aunt blamed him of her misery being an old maid. No suitors can visit her otherwise they will be thrown out of the house. My aunt was a very beautiful woman. She was even offered an acting role in a movie during her younger years but my grandfather didn't allow her. Because of his being strict, his youngest daughter( Tita Baby ) run away with her lover.
My lolo was not a family person. He did not attend a single family gatherings except the wedding of his youngest daughter ( Tita Baby). I don't recall any moment that he showed affection to his grandchildren.
He didn't want his food seasoned with MSG( ajinomoto) otherwise he would throw the plate of food served to him. He was a quick-tempered person who curse people, even his children.
My grandmother is Juliana Catacutan Reyes born on June 10, 1911. She used to be wholesaler of seafoods. He died on March 10, 1976 due to diabetes. I didn't have the chance to meet her.
There were blessed with 10 children:
1) Virginia Reyes Franco ( Tita Viring ) born on December 25, 1932. She was a real estate broker and used to be a millionaire. She was blessed with 3 children – Kuya Al, Ate Susan and Ate Anabelle. Tita Viring was a sophisticated woman with many connections and clients. I didn't remember a single family reunion that she attended. Her siblings look up to her as a fulfilled career woman. I remember visiting her beautiful house during Christmas with my cousins to ask for cash gift. We were not close to her family because of her status in life.
2) Pablo C. Reyes- Jan. 6, 1934. He was a taxi driver. His children to his 1st wife: Myrna Reyes, Efren Reyes and Paulita Reyes, were raised by his sister Ester when he married his 2nd wife( Tita Aida) where he had 2 children: Edward Reyes and Emma Reyes. Ate Myrna stowed away and worked in Sweden where she got married to a Swedish. She then became the head of the family.
Tito Pablo passed away due to liver cancer in 2006. He was a chain smoker.
Ate Paulita was living with us in Taytay Rizal (ancestral house of my father) together with Tita Ester and I remember her taking care of me why I was still in preschool.
3) Perfecto C. Reyes ( Tito Pet) was born in 1936. He was selling crabs in Cubao where he met his wife who is from Bacolod. They decided to migrate there. There were blessed with 3 children-Rea, Rema and Lito. He died because of diabetes complication. Rea, one of his children, is now working in the US who now provides financial support to her siblings. She petitioned her mother and now living with her in the States. I only saw Rema in person. Tito Pet died in 1998 due to diabetes.
4) Ester Reyes was born in 1940. She used to sell crabs. She was an old maid. She died in 2007 due to cardiac arrest. Tita Ester stood as the mother to her siblings. She even adopted 3 children of Tito Pablo and one illegitimate child of Tito Pepito. I know her as a meticulous and strict aunt. She maintained the orderliness and cleanliness of the ancestral house. She was a plant lover. Tita Ester was a chain smoker.
5) Emelito C. Reyes was born on January 14, 1945 and died on Nov. 22 1994 due to cardiac arrest . He worked as OFW then later operated his own bakery. He had 3 children to Felicidad Cruz, a school teacher. Cherry Reyes, 44, is now running his "patahian" in Taytay Rizal. Mark Lester, 40 now works in the Dubai as IT professional. The youngest is Cheriza Fe, 33, is working as flight attendant at Emirates Airlines.
6) Pepito C. Reyes was born in 1946 and was selling crabs. He worked as taxi driver. He was murdered in 1992. He had 3 children : Kristine, Kathryn and Eddie. Kristine is now married to Japanese. She provides financial support to her family. Tito Pepito has one illegitimate child, ESTER, who is adopted by her old maid sister, Tita Ester.
7) Manuel C. Reyes is my father. He was born on March 4, 1947. He was selling crabs. He died on December 17, 2009 due to stroke. My dad was a chain smoker and alcoholic. He had 4 children to my mother. One child to her first partner, Kuya Manuel. One child to another partner, Kuya Manny. I remember my dad as a person who can easily get along with others. He had a lot of friends and customers.
My siblings: Marigrace got pregnant in 1995 at the age of 18. She was separated with his 1st husband in 2000 then continued her college education. She graduated BSCS in 2005. She is now working as Field Marketing Manager of Tanay Rural Bank. She has another 2 children to his 2nd husband. Roger Reyes is a tricycle driver. He recently took ALS and passed( highschool). He has 5 children. His wife is working abroad as massage therapist. My youngest brother, Michael, is a carpenter. She married his highschool teacher and had 3 children.
All my 3 siblings are smokers and alcohol drinker.
8) Lamberto C. Reyes( Tito Berting ) was born April 16, 1949. He worked as taxi driver. She married Ofelia Reyes(Tita Fe), an elementary teacher. They were blessed with 5 children. His eldest daughter died because of leukemia at the age of 12. His wife worked as caregiver in the States for 15 years. Because of her sacrifice, she was able to send her children to college. Byron completed BS Nursing. Janice and Lala finished BSCS and Rhyan completed BSHRM. Janice and Byron are now immigrant in the States. They petitioned their parents.
9) Floro C. Reyes ( Tito Eddie boy) was born in 1952– used to run a placement agency for abroad but later on closed due to questionable papers.
10)Narcisa R. Lobramonte( Tita Baby) was born July 21, 1955. She was bank teller before he married Tito Jess( Diosdado Lobramonte). They are also active members of Couples for Christ and also leaders serving the community. There were blessed with 2 children: Chester- a newscaster before then Kenneth Ivy – an elementary teacher in the US.
Mother's side
My mother's side is from Bayambang Pangasinan.
My grandfather is Antonino Ferrer Aquino born on October 25, 1932. He was an electrician and at the same a farmer. He died on March 28, 2006 due to stroke. My grandfather was a jolly person. He always made us laugh. She would carry my lola by surprise then my lola would overreact by shock. After it, my lola would curse him but my lolo would embrace her tight. I remember him always carrying a "bolo"(a sharp knife use to cut trunk of trees). My lolo had a lot of scary stories about his encounter with aswang( mythical creatures).
My grandmother is Consorcia Mabanglo Aquino born on June 26, 1932. She was a meat vendor. He died on December 26, 1995 due to diabetes. My lola loved to play "tong-its". She was too thin and always had a cigarette on her mouth.
They were blessed with 8 children:
1) Rogelio Mabanglo Aquino( Tito Roger) Birthdate: July 25, 1955 Date of death: April 09, 2006 Cause of death: Diabetes Work: Jeepney driver. My Tito Roger was a sweet tito. We would watch movies together and eat out every 15th and 30th as our date. Since I am the eldest niece, I am his favorite. He didn't finish highschool. He married a businesswoman and had 3 children. All are boys.
2) Eugene Mabanglo Aquino, Birthday : March 28, 1957 Date of Death: June 29, 2006 Cause of death: Kidney failure-diabetes complication. My mother was an elementary graduate. She worked as waitress in one of the bars in Manila where she met my father. She was a full-time mother. She used to operate a sari sari store but eventually closed due to lack of proper accounting. She liked wearing make up and dressing up. We were always mistaken as sisters. She loved to play "tong-its" also.
3) Lorna Aquino Ramos Birthdate: August 10, 1960 Date of death: September 15, 2006
Cause of death: diabetes. Tita was a chain smoker. Tito Lorna was a beautician.Like my mom, she didn't finish highschool. She was married to Tito bet, a bus driver. They were blessed with 4 children. One has cerebral palsy. The other one died at the age of 9 due to infection.
4) Marilyn Aquino Austria ( Tita Arlene) born on March 20, 1962. She worked as an OFW in Dubai. She has 2 children from two different fathers. Tita Arlene is a chain smoker. My mom told me that she used to baby sit me with I was still an infant. She is diagnosed with diabetes. She is a chain smoker and alcohol drinker.
5) Ely Aquino Velasco was born on November 09, 1964. She is a fulltime housewife. She married a farmer and had 3 children. Her eldest daughter, Dina Velasco, worked in Japan but later got pregnant and gave birth to a twins. Dina has found his true love and now living in Bulacan. Her twins are being raised by Tita Ely in Pangasinan. Her 2nd child, Rolly Velasco, just died recently due to "bangugot".
Tita Ely once lived with us in Taytay to help my mother take care of me and my siblings.
6) Susan Aquino Mamaril - Birthdate: January 02, 1965. Date of death: January 05, 2015 Cause of death: diabetes. Tita Susan is a full-time housewife. She didn't finish highschool. She was married to Tito Robert, he was selling ropes. They were blessed with 3 children. Roseann Mamaril, the eldest, now works for a mall as security guard. She has 2 children and married a military man. Roseann once lived with me in Ormoc where I supported her college education. Things didn't work out because of her relationship with one of our employees in our printing press.
7) Reny Mabanglo Aquino was born on January 22, 1968. He is a driver. He married the distraught widow ( Tita Nida) of his younger brother, Tito Ricky. He adopted Tito Ricky's daughter, Nikkie. In my mother's side, Nikkie is the only one who continued college education. She is taking up BSED. I am supporting her weekly allowance. Tito Rene used to work in our business in Ormoc. He drove our car for delivery of items to the customers and also helped in the production area. Conflict happened when my husband could no longer bear the smell of the cigarette in our car. My Tito Rene was a chain smoker. We had conflict in the past also because of one incident when he critic my habit of exercising every morning, telling me "There is no use to exercise as Aquino family is destined to die young. I am pretty sure, you will die young also." That comment made me mad and I blurted, "When that happens, no one will help you financially"
He is diagnosed with diabetes. She is a chain smoker and alcohol drinker.
8) Ricky Mabanglo Aquino Birthdate: July 25, 1970 Date of death: January 07, 1998 Cause of death: diabetes. He was a baker. He was married to Tita Nida, his widow. I remember Tito Ricky as a bully. I would cry because of his non-stop teasing. What I remember about Tito Ricky was his joy in eating a lot of rice mixed with a lot of oil and soy sauce( no viand).
What is the new learning?
Genogram is a useful tool in achieving self-awareness. I come to realize that by doing genogram, it helps me understand myself more as :
a) It assesses the current support networks that I have
Among the siblings of Daddy, I am close to my Tito Berting family. Probably because, Tita Fe and I have the same passion. Both of us are teachers. They considered me as part of their family as they see in me their daughter-Ai-ai ( we are of the same age) who passed away due to leukemia. Ai-ai and I used to be best of friends as we lived in the same compound during our younger years.
My relatives who took care of me when I was still young ( Ate Poleng, Tita Ely, Tita Arlene, Tito Roger(+)) have a special spot in my heart. I can feel their genuine care and love for me.
b) the influences on my personal development
I was greatly influenced by my relatives in my mother's side. They encouraged me to study and strive to finish college as no one in Aquino's family has ever completed a degree. They told me to take advantage of the opportunity that my father was giving me. As I said in my defining moments, my father was a good provider. True enough, I made my mother, aunts and uncle in maternal side proud of me when I earned a degree in college.
I appreciate the sacrifices of my aunts who helped my mom in raising us. I am affectionate because of their influences. I learn to value life because of the hardship I experience in Pangasinan. Through them, I learn to appreciate simple joys in life.
I can still vividly remember how enjoyable our family gatherings were in my father's side. Each of the nephews/nieces showcased their talents in singing and dancing. They taught us about spending time with the family through reunions and being together during Christmas.
c) Interpersonal relationship of mine that needs improvement. The information fed in genogram can also be used in treatment planning by targeting undeveloped, underdeveloped or unhealthy relationships that I have.
I should make a conscious effort in addressing these relationships that need improvement.
(http://www.livestrong.com/article/24801-purpose-genogram/)
What is the relation to what I already know?
According to Chris Lowney's book, the foundation to ingenuity is to make ourselves indifferent. Only by becoming indifferent – free of prejudices and attachments and therefore free to choose any course of action – do recruits become strategically flexible. In relation of this concept to genogram, becoming indifferent does not only improve relationships. It can also be a more noble or heroic act and that is helping souls. Like in my paternal side, there are a lot undeveloped relationship. One can be an instrument in making the family more bonded and all may do some conscious effort in helping the next generation live a morally upright life (Most of my uncles have two wives)
As to my mother side, it is more on addressing the medical risk factor. Indeed the mortality rate on a younger age in my maternal side is high. The genogram does not only benefit me but it should be made aware to other members of the family who are exposed to this type of medical risk. In this way, they will be more guided in making rhe right lifestyle to reduce the medical risks. <that is the first important use of Genogram - medical use)
Lastly, doing the genogram, is a tool in taking a fearless moral inventory,e.i. taking stock of who I am which is part of the foundation of self-awareness.
What have I done, am doing, will be doing for this topic?
I can say that I already started nurturing the relationship with my relatives as evident in their prompt response when I asked them about the family information I need in doing this genogram. I created an fb group among REYES clan where we can interact socially. As to my maternal side, I communicate with them through mobile phones. I chose to live a healthy life especially that both sides of my family have history of diabetes. I do not smoke. I am an occasional drinker though.
I make time whenever I receive invitation to attend important family affairs to improve my relationship with them. I am leading the support group among REYES tackling marital and parental issues. As to my maternal side where none of my aunts and uncle finished college, I subsidize allowances and tuition fee of my cousins who are determined to get college education.
As to my paternal side, there are a lot of undeveloped, underdeveloped or unhealthy relationships among our relatives. I will organize more family reunions in the future and rally for more relatives to attend. As to my maternal side, I will create awareness on the value of healthy living among my siblings and cousins.
My overall experience in making GENOGRAM is satisfying. This is really very helpful in knowing myself better.
Maricel Reyes-Ngo,MCS
Mobile No.: 0928-5549795
Mobile No.: 0928-5549795
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