Regis Cebu Leadership, Leader Ivy Eleanor U Ko Reflection Paper #1 -Defining Moments (Revised)

Dear Prof,

Sending a revised copy of my Reflection paper #1

Thank you for the the guidance and opportunity to rewrite it.

best regards,

Ivy

Regis Cebu Leadership, Leader Ivy Eleanor U Ko

Reflection Paper #1 -Defining Moments (Revised)

My goal in life is to find happiness and excel in all the things I do. Having studied at a Catholic school all my life, I grew up think that if I do good and follow God's and our parent's commandments, I will receive what I want for to happen. But as I grew up, and had responsibilities, doing good and praying is not enough. It takes skills, planning, leading, organizing, controlling, and ultimately strategizing so that I will achieve what I want to happen. In short, life gets tough as you mature, but things are within your reach is you work hard for it. 

Growing Up

As a child, life was quite easy. Papa was a car parts agent and Mama was a housewife and our tutor. Since papa travels almost every week, it was really mama who guided us while growing up. Mama was really strict with us in terms of our studies, and she is happiest when we get honors at the end of every school year. We are a typical Chinese family, Pa and Ma ensures we are well provided for, but we don't talk about feelings and emotions. I would say we grew up in a middle class family. Pa's earnings were enough  to raise a family of 6, support my paternal grandmother (we call her Ama), send us to a good school, eat out during special events, go on trips once in a while. My mom was thrifty and we grew up knowing every cent matters. 

Summer vacations means trips to visit my mom's parents who were based in Manila. When I turned 7, I had the first real responsibility to be left home and stay with Ama so she would not be alone for two months. Since I am the second amongst four sisters, and the closest to Ama, I volunteered to stay with her. One afternoon, while we were in the temple, she had a slipped through the kneelers and fell. Good thing she only suffered minor bruises and did not affect her so much. That incident really made an impact on me and I took upon the responsibility to look after her and accompany her when there is no school.  My Uncle and Aunts called me as Ama's purse as she never leaves home without me. Ama loves to have tea with four of her closest friends, go malling, to the temple, the beauty parlor and most of all Cook! From active, robust, and independent woman, she aged and gradually grew frail. For me, Ama was a superwoman because she can do everything. When she became weak, there were a lot more of falling incidents, bouts of various illness like pneumonia and UTI, making her in and out of hospitals. Thank God she was generally healthy as it was really due to old age that caused her passing. I was already in 2nd year college when she died,   I can say who I am today is a huge part due to her.  

During one of my trips with Ama to visit my aunt (her daughter) in Iligan, at the age of 8, I had my first summer job - a tindera in a General Merchandise store her family owns. Since I enjoyed Iligan experience so much, I became a tindera for 3 summers. When I was 10, it was back to Manila for me, an being used to having a summer job, I helped my uncle in managing his hardware store in the next 3 summers.  My great uncle who owns an electronics store is expanding his business needs assistance on someone they can trust when I was 15. As he is like Papa's second father, he volunteered us to help Uncle. Of course, goodbye to summer vacation again. It was not only during summer breaks that I helped out great uncle, but also semestral breaks and Christmas breaks. This lasted for about 5 years. 

The first difficult event in my life was when Papa suffered stroke in 1999 needs to have a triple vein bypass. Seeing him in the hospital with all the wires the CCU was really scary. The thought of losing him was something I could not imagine. Another concern was the financial budget we need to survive the ordeal. With the four of us are still studying, and it was very heavy for the family to fund the operation. Good thing we got some assistance from family and friends. I could remember the family's worried condition back then, but we had to stay really strong to survive this difficulty. Praise God that my hard headed Papa listened to our prayers and agreed to take things slower, had a change of lifestyle and diet so he can enjoy life and reach senior citizenship. Now, he enjoys a healthy lifestyle and exercises everyday. 

Career Woman

Reviewing for and passing the CPA board exam was another exorbitant moment in my life, it capped of years of hard work and I achieved my bucket list. However, aside from the three letters (CPA) I can attach to my name, it was looking for a job that was the next big step for me. It took me three months after passing the board exam to finally get into the company that I want to work with, Aboitiz and Company. A Cebu based conglomerate, with varied industries, where I can practice my being a CPA. This is similar to working for an auditing firm, just that this is based in Cebu, and less stressful. What's best is that its headquarters is just 3 kilometers away from home. But Alas, during the time I applied for the Job, there was no vacancy for Audit  or Accountng Departments. It was only in Admin where there is an urgent need for an Admin Assistant. Since I know this is a stepping stone for me to transfer into these departments when a position opens, I took the Admin Assistant position last September 8, 2004, and later on transferred to become a Junior Finance Analyst on December 2004. Admin Assistant position gave the general view of how the company works, what comprise the different companies that make up the Aboitiz Group, coordinate with different secretaries of the executives, arrange for hotel and logistical arrangements, among other administrative tasks. As a Junior Finance Analyst, I learned the ropes of Financial Analysis, Management Reporting, Seminar Facilitation, and most of all, it gave me the chance to report to and attend meetings together with the Big Bosses in the Aboitiz Group. It was way better than being in the audit or accounting departments!

When one of the Aboitiz companies I am handling needed a Finance Officer position in June 2007, they requested I step up, and move to the Food Group to head their Finance Team. With no managing people experience, it was very difficult for me to agree to the move. It took me three months to finally agree to transfer to another company, and unknowingly, this decision was one of the best one I ever made in my life. Transferring to an Operating Company rather than just being in a Holding company gave me a totally different experience. Everything was more dynamic, you cannot just sit on your desk, but you need to move around and see where the action is. Being a manager at 25, I also have to prove to my collegues that I am in that position because I am deserving, and I have the aptitude, albeit the lack in experience. I have to make new friends and find collegues I can trust. From being just a Junior Analyst based in Cebu City who travels once in a while to conduct meetings and seminars, I need to travel monthly to plant sites in Tarlac, Iligan, and Makati, while holding office in Cebu City. Another adjustment is the need to handle 5 people, of multi-generations, and multi-based. For someone whose leadership skills and knowledge are just based on observations on how she was guided by her superiors, managing 5 people instantly was very challenging! With perseverance, sheer determination, honesty, I was able to gain the respect and cooperation of my team, and what's best, our department has been one of the best performing since I became their Team Leader. 

When I said yes to the move to Pilmico Foods Corporation last September 2007, things did not stop growing. Well, for sure, work load has magnified, but everything else – learnings, experience, travel opportunities and trainings, meeting new people - are things that cannot be measured. I was promoted as Finance Manager in six months, spin-off to a new position Risk and Commodity Manager in August 2009, promoted to Assistant Vice President Risk and Commodity on January 2012. All these things that I earned in the company defines who I am today.

As a Wife 

Having been so focused on career, a part of me was longing and praying to find somebody I can share my life with. I don't want to grow old working. I have seen some colleagues who are unmarried at the age of 50's because they were too busy with their careers. I don't want to end up like that. I want to have a family of my own. Fate has its own way, He answered my prayers when I he sat me beside him on the plane ride when I was on my way to attend a seminar in Singapore. I prayed for someone who is mature enough to support my work, and someone who will be proud of me and let me continue to grow. All this I have found in him, and much more. Oh the wonders of being detailed when you pray! After 3 years of courtship, he proposed and I informed the company I worked with that I will not join them as they move headquarters to Taguig City Manila. Despite loving my work and the corporate life so much, I had to make a choice. Will I pursue my new life as a wife in Cebu, or join the bandwagon and come home every weekend to be with my family. Since my personal vision is to be happy on whatever I do – I decided to resign from my job prioritize on myself and my husband first. 

As a Mother

God is good –that before I ended my job with Pilmico in December 2013, He blessed us with a baby Klive Ethan, on June 2014 – who has made me changed my priorities three hundred sixty degrees – from a career woman to family first. I am so happy that I am there for his first everything. I get to breastfeed him. I want to be there to guide him when he goes to school. Thankfully, all these things I am able to do now plus much more. 

REFLECTION

What are my new learnings? What is the relation to what I already know?

Through this exercise, I was able to understand the interplay of these events. How I am today is shaped by the experiences I have gone thru since I childhood. 

Growing Up

With Ama, we were each other companion's during summer vacations. Her caring and loving ways eases missing my mother and siblings while they were away. I saw her strong, loving, and generous side that none of my siblings nor cousins ever saw. I gave Ama my time and attention, while she gave me so much more. A lot of my values I credit to her and I am forever grateful to that.

The Cliché of you would know who your real friends are in times of distress held true when Papa was sick and in need of a heart by-pass surgery. For our family, if definitely drew us closer and more prayerful. Moreover, friends and relatives who were there to lend a hand, gave moral and financial support, helped Papa recovered successfully. Being a travelling sales man, my dad have made several friends in different walks of life and different parts of the world. He is very friendly, helpful, and caring.  I guess this is how the world gave back to Papa to the people he has helped.

Career Woman

I may have sacrificed a lot of play and travel opportunities on summer breaks , the 11 years of working even before I got a college degree gave me the first view of employment world. Though the tasks were quite easy, it thought me the discipline to be hardworking, organized, trustworthy, resourceful, self-aware, and of course, gave me a savings account at a young age. Looking back now, it was not only a win-win situation in terms of helping out my relatives, but the most advantaged was me. I got to learn all these things early, and It really helped me succeed in my career. I am really thankful to my aunt, uncle, and great uncle for hiring, teaching and trusting me to learn these things early on. 

I have always believed that you will be rewarded when you work hard and find passion in your job. I did not mind starting as an administration assistant, where all menial things were my job. There was something great planned for me afterwards, and there sure was, way beyond my expectation. I did not mind travelling every week, I did not mind sitting all day in meetings, or train subordinates who were a generation older than me. I did not mind working at wee hours of the morning to trade and get notes from counterparts on the other side of the world. Because I am very happy with my work. There were also countless perks and benefits despite the hardships. Whenever I feel down and tired at work, my Dad would always tell me, there is no easy job. He is always right. He was very proud of my achievements at a young age, and he was one reason why I accepted all the challenging tasks that were thrown my way. He is my number one cheerleader. I know that I have made a mark in the Aboitiz Group, and they have made a mark in my mine, that I opted not to work for another employer when I decided to take a breather in work and focus on family life. 

As a Wife and Mother

Though 10 years work experience is quite early for someone to retire, I made sure that I have reached my goal in my career first before taking a breather.  That is because I decided to focus on myself and motherhood first.  My husband and I have been very blessed with a bundle of joy who has brought so much happiness to our lives. I want to have two kids, be there for them every step of their formative years, before I do decide to go back to my career. It is not easy for a career woman to drop everything just to be a full time mother. It takes a lot of planning, mind and emotional conditioning, and sacrificing to do. But as you see your family in a happy and healthy condition, everything seems so worth it. 

As cardiac condition is in the Genes, this made me more conscious of my health. I keep a healthy lifestyle, exercise at least three times a week, Eat healthy and keep myself fit all the time. This is also the pact my siblings and I made. With my husband, it is a requirement we go to an annual check up together, especially  that our child is still very young. Living a healthy lifestyle should be the number one priority.

Back to School 

To ensure that I keep my priorities and skills intact, my husband encouraged me to go back to school, to continue learning, as he knows I sometimes miss the education I gained in the corporate world. Getting a MBA degree has been something I want to attain way before, but I just could not find the time to do it. Good thing I am blessed with a partner who encourages me to do things that I am passionate about. I started June this year, and am enjoying it to the hilt. I definitely miss seeing power point discussions, reading books and doing assignments!

What have I done, am doing, will be doing for this topic?

Everything that happens in our lives always have a reason. Difficulties and challenges are there to mold us, to make us better versions of ourselves. However, it's really up to us to transcend the situation, and to look beyond the difficulties, and see these as opportunities to grow, as a person, and as a leader.

This reflection thought me that I should continue to believe that being good make me become a better person and helps me achieve the best that I can be. I should take time to pause, reflect and reassess my life, my experiences, what I want, if this is the current state of things that makes me happy.  And in every challenging situation, relook at my goals, personal values- ask if this is something I will be happy about. Is there a better way of doing things? Will my family and loved ones support me in the decision I've made? Will I make them happy?

Growing Up, Growing old

Back then, I would say use the term growing up, with stories of Papa and Mama guiding me. But now the tide has changed, as they grow old, it is now my responsibility to take care of them along with my sisters. Now is the best time to reciprocate to them to how they have brought us up, as they are still able and can enjoy the finer things in life. I don't want imagine the time when they become old and immobile, as for sure, that will be a difficult time for all of us. Since 2 of my sisters are not based in Cebu, we who are here, try our best to show our affections, attention and appreciation to our parents. We try our best to make them happy and satisfied and in return, they spoil our kids! As a daughter, I am very lucky to see them at their stage right now. Papa is already retired and more relaxed. Mama is a doting grandmother who buys anything she whims for her grandkids. Gone were the days when both of them would budget and think of the expenses for the family. They are enjoying life with their family and friends. And how I wish I could freeze time that they will no longer grow old, be like this forever. My prayers are for them to have a happy and healthy life everyday.

Career Woman 

Now that I have decided to take things a bit slower and do consultancy jobs, I am able to do more things successively. I get to help my husband in the family business, help out friends in SME's who want to put up finance systems in their offices, and at the same time, put into practice the things I've learned in my work life over the years. Working independently without the confines of a corporate value or culture is a bit difficult as having these guidance would certainly make things easier. A struggle I've come across with was managing a lot of boss with different needs at the same time, rather than serving just one boss when I was employed. Second, coming from a big conglomerate where you are used to dealing with people having work specializations, dealing with SME organizations where everyone is multi-tasking is a bit of a challenge. My definition of a consultant when I was in the other side of the fence is different from the definition of the SME's I am working with today. Going back to what Papa said, no work is ever easy. Since this is a choice I've made to free up my time for my family, I am making this work.  Is my family happy? Yes, they are! Am I happy? Yes, I am!

As a Wife

When my husband and I were at the courtship stage, he never made me felt as if we were in a fairytale relationship, as he believes that married life is never a fairytale. Right from the start, he has shown me was the lifestyle he lived, introduced me to his big family, and right there, I kind of knew what type of a person he was. When we got married, of course, there were a lot of adjustments on my part, but it was not very difficult as he was made me feel comfortable with him right from the start. Being married for 2.5 years, I would say we are still in the honeymoon stage, where we don't see each other flaws yet. I do hope we will stay this way till we reach our senior years, as he is the most loving and selfless individual that I encountered. We always pray that we will find the passion in the things we do, and be able to build a successful marriage, raise beautiful and confident children, and be an inspiration to each other aim to be the best that we can be.

As a Mother

As a new mother, it was a fairly smooth ride. Good thing we have older siblings and friends who became parents ahead of us that gave us insights of how to become one. Good thing we have a solid support group who was always there for us in time we need assistance to take care of the new baby. It is every parent's dream to see their child healthy, happy, confident, successful and be a contributor society someday. I wish I will be able to balance all the things I plan to do, and still have time to bring him to school and fetch him home. Bake cookies with him, prepare his meals, teach him his assignments and read to him stories before he goes to sleep.  I wish I will be able to give our son a good future, I wish I will be a good example for him to look up to, I wish I am somebody he will be proud someday. 

As a Student

Continuous learning should never stop, because if it does, then you get to grow old faster. Learning has no boundaries. Learning could be as simple as getting oneself involved in current events, reading books, traveling. As long as you keep an open mind, and change for the better. As I reopened the chapter of my life of becoming a student again, I want to correct the wrong that I may have done during my teens by being too competitive and preoccupied with school that I tend to put my responsibilities in the family at the backseat. This time, I want to weigh things, and prioritize my family first before anything else. I want to practice a balanced work-family-student life that I can still enjoy the things that matter most. I want to share and teach the things I have learned, as for me, this is my definition of how success and leadership. "Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others. "—Jack Welch.

Leaders are never selfish. Give back and share. Develop and nurture.

Leadership, be it professional or personal life, is an evolving process. It may be born, made, or situational. There is a leader in everyone and it is up to us should we want to develop and maximize our potential.