Regis Cebu Leadership

Leader Melissa Abarrientos

Genogram

My Genogram

My Father's Parents:

Alfonso Abarrientos Sr. –  He works in the military as far as I can remember. He loved music and he plays the trombone. He had 14 siblings and was the 8^th from the eldest. Their father was a Chinese merchant from macau who married a Filipina and adopted the last name of his Filipino Sponsor inorder for him to expand his business. I was not close to my lolo since he rarely talks as far as I can remember;  But I learned and heard storied from my lolo's 3 sisters who did not get married because their father was so strict.

Licnesa Abarrientos – My lola was a housewife and she keeps a mini sari sari store. Even when she was already very old and up to her last breath she kept her mini sari-sari store which I thought was her happiness. During her youth she wa a beauty queen in their town and was sought after by a lot of suitors. So far that was the only story I heard about my lola.

My Mother's Parents:

Timoteo Baylin – he was a former veteran during the WW2 before he came back in Mindanao and devoted his life farming. I call him Daddy. My Lolo owned almost a few hectares of farm in Bukidnon before he sold it and transferred to another town. My lolo was very hard working, brilliant and a disciplinarian but was very kind. He even adopted a homeless kid who grew up with my mother's family. Although, after my mother's family left the town in Bukidnon and sold the lands; my lolo left him a few hectares to farm and to be able to sustain himself. That kid is now one of the town's millionaires. Going back to my lolo, after selling his farm in Bukidnon he transferred his farm of around 70 hectares to another town. He planted coffee beans, fruits like Citrus, Lanzones and coconut. It was his farming that sent my mother and siblings to Cebu for College. According to story, my lolo once exported his coffee beans to Brazil and his coconut oil to Japan. But that was before his coffee bean was burned by some envious neighbor (so they say). We still have the coconut farm and every year we still harvest the lanzones and sell to another province in Visayas.

Gertrude Refuerzo - My Lola is a mestiza. Her mother was Spanish and his father  was half-spanish and Ilocano. She was born and raised in La Union. She was 16 when she left her home to join my lolo in Mindanao. According to stories and by hearing my Lola's story about her family, her father was a haciendero and her mother was the typical aristocrat Spanish. My mother said, My lola seldom mingles with neighbors during her early days in Mindanao as she told me since she can only speak Spanish and English and Ilocano. She's also very super conservative. I remember she often get surprised by the way I behaved when I was a kid because I was quite boyish and she won't allow me to squat. She was very particular with how a woman should act. Perhaps that was brought about her training while she was a child and coming from a family with Spanish parents.

My father's Siblings

They were Eight in the family.

1.       Lucy- My Aunt was a plain house wife with 4 kids.

2.       Ludy – She was a CPA-accountant before she died of cancer 2 years ago. She had 4 kids too. I wasn't close to her since she lived most of her life in Manila.

3.       Lolita – She worked overseas for 30 years (Japan)  and had only one son.

4.       Alfonso Jr.  (My father) Is a gov't employee. My father has a great sense of humor and he fancies Science and history and technology. He loves to read books and encyclopedia's to amaze himself. Most of what I recall about history and science came from my father as I love the way he tells me about the universe.

5.       Lilybeth – I call her mommy. Somehow she was my second mother since my mother was working. She loves to bake and she loves orchids. The typical housewife and mommy figure.

6.       Lalaine – I was very close to her too as we were like friends. She was the Sales manager of Toyota in South Mindanao and Central way back 10 years ago. Now, she's focused on her restaurant business and her beauty Salona and little farm.

7.       Dodie – I did not grew up close to my uncle. But I heard eh works in a multi-national company as of now.

8.       Arlen – The youngest. He did not get married. Manages his own little convenience Store in our place.

My Mother's Siblings

1.       Sylvestre – He's a teacher of T.H.E in a private school in our city and had four kids.

2.       Lorna- She's a plain housewife and resided here in Cebu all throughout her married life. She had  3 Kids and I'm quite close to his youngest son, whose now a Team Supervisor in one of the biggest call center in Cebu.

3.       Rene- I have a few information about my uncle. All I know was he was a brilliant one and was a traveler. He had a leukemia before he died of an accident together with my older brother. His 2 elder keds grew up with me since my mother adopted them after my uncle dies.

4.       Tessie- My mother is an accountant. A disciplinarian. She's like a walking scientific calculator and an intelligent one. Quite a perfectionist. Hard working. She's the type who keeps attention to every detail.Hard working, diligent and almost all.

5.       Grace – She graduated BS Customs Admininistration. She manages her own small business of buy and sell in their hometown and has 3 kids.She's a sweet and kind and nurturing one.  

6.       Rey – the youngest son. he's an Electrical engineer and he is also like a walking calculator. I remember they said my uncle passed the board without any review and almost got to the top. He also took his exam the week after the boarding house he rented was burned down to ashes.

He's currently a plant and operations manager in one of the bigger companies in Visayas and Mindanao.

My Siblings

1.       Alfonso III – he was the best brother I had. A math wizard who can calculate square roots, Ppie etc. at a young age. We were very close since our age gap was only a year but our memories were short lived when he dies due to an accident.

2.       Me – everybody is good in math except me. I loved art and I have dreams.

3.       Alain Gabriel – The healthiest baby among the 4 of us but died of broncho Pneumonia caused by his yaya. He often soaked with his own urine while he was still a  baby. His yaya will only change his clothes when 5 pm is near and our parent are about to arrive.

4.       Richelieu- my youngest brother who is also a walking calculator. He's quite brilliant in that he memorized all the UNO flags at the age of 6. And took his entire entrance exam perfect.  He works in a Japanese company owned by a Filipino and is currently advancing his career.

My Reflection for the Genogram Project

I thought it was quite difficult given the instance that my family is in CDO and I'm Cebu and during the day it was quite difficult to contact them since my father's job site doesn't have a signal. My mother cannot spare time since she's quite busy being the budget officer of a gov't and it's Christmas time. She also have to take care of my daughter and they sleep as early as 8PM, in which I am in my signal-less job site.  I have to write and reflect only according to my vague memories.

I grew up close to my cousins (on my father's side) since our houses are all just a walk away. I was quite close to my aunts and uncles too and even my lolo and lola (father's side). I wasn't just close to my lolo and lola (father's side) because it wasn't the family culture. We do not chat with our aunts and kids are not supposed to listen to talks. I only heard a lot of family history and inspiring stories from my lolo's sister. From my father's side, most of them love music. Everytime we have a family reunion it's all about music. I guess my interest in business was due to their father or my father's lolo since he was a Chinese business man who owned acres of land and a Hotel Inn before he all his business went down altogether. According to story, His wife doesn't know how to handle business and caused the down fall. I guess from all the stories I've heard that's the most inspiring and challenging and started my dream that when I grow up I would want to have my own business.

From My mother's side, both my Lolo and Lola are quite good in business math. Thus, they run a farm business which none from their kids followed the business but only followed the planting and farming. At home, when I was a kid and up to now, it's been the family's habit to go home to my mother's hometown to visit my lola. Basically. They also both inspire me to become an entrepreneur. Especially, since I still talk with my lola right now and I hear her advice and words of encouragement. 

Furthermore, after reviewing my genogram, I found that there are only a few of us in the family that became interested with entrepreneurship. But recalling my relationship with them all and not just the boring facts of our everyday life; I've come to realize that there were values and belief I share with my father's family and values and beliefs I share with my mother's side.

From my father's side, although we rarely talk about something serious as business. I recall we always had a good time laughing. We're all thoughtful, creative, and our family is actually close with each other. We celebrate Christmas and New Year together. Family  is quite friendly, sociable, Loving and sharing with tons of positive Attitude and resilience. And last but not the least all of them have a bunch of more than great sense of humor.

From my Mother's side, my grandparents are entrepreneur themselves. And I guess the values I share with them are the fact that I'm thoughtful, hardworking, honest, committed. These same values are taught by my grandparents to my mother by whom my mother has also taught me. I even remember that every time my mother scolds me she would always cite and tell me that when she was you my lolo or lola doesn't like this and that. Even the fact that my lolo told her to study and finish her education and continually learn because that's the only thing that no one can steal from her" – she also told me that and I have always thought of it and it' actually one of the reasons why I'm not ever satisfied by just graduating college and decided to take up a post grad course.

To sum up, we all have lead different lives and perhaps because of the external factors that have shaped our lives. But nevertheless, as family we do share many if not all the "values and beliefs" that are part of our decision making as to where we wanted our paths to go and lead our lives.  Also we share values and beliefs that are integral part of our being and play key roles with how we interact and cope with our challenges. I guess this genogram did not just allow me to re-check my family history to see if any body had the same mission as I but also to realize the factors and perhaps the family culture, values and beliefs handed over by generation to generation.