Regis Cebu Leadership: Reflection Paper 2 Internal and External Factors that Shaped Me by Leader Pedro Leonard G. Castañeda

Reflection Paper 2 Internal and External Factors that Shaped Me by Leader Pedro Leonard G. Castañeda

External - What are family, environment, school and work experience that shaped you today?

In school: For as far back as memory allows, my family, particularly my grandmother and my mother, have encouraged me to excel, and undoubtedly, this should include being a leader wherever I was. Indeed, my first three years in grade school saw me being elected, virtually unanimously, as class president, but we all know that this was hardly an exercise of true leadership. The first reality check was in my fourth grade, where, as a transferee in a new school, I hardly enjoyed the almost automatic popularity I once had in a school where my grandmother taught. And that was the sum total of my leadership career all the way to college.

For quite some time, I didn't quite see myself as a leader. In class activities, I was never voted by my peers to lead the group. I was hardly Mr. Congeniality back then, and was a bit antisocial, somewhat boorish, makulit, and you wouldn't believe it: shy. I had a hard time adjusting with what seemed to be meaningless meetings that only succeeded in going nowhere (to me), and I always seemed to evade volunteering to do this or that task. Maybe I was perceived to be a liability; and perhaps, I was, mainly because I was so unsure of what I was good at. I even had the distinction of being unanimously kicked out in one of our class groups: the only one I ever knew of in my 7 1/2 years in UP.

I did end up being thrust into a position of authority, not by election (in which I would never win, or so I thought), but by sheer length of stay. My fraternity practiced strict seniority, so by the inevitable passage of time, I would become a "senior brod" to a growing number of juniors. As such, I had the fortune of being discovered by our Grand Archon (the title of our head) to be a relatively good writer, and so to keep me busy and focused on things with more significance than wine, women and song, I was made the editor-in-chief of our fraternity newsletter, a position I held twice. Aside from this, other fraternity projects, both benign and violent, enabled me to command my juniors. What stuck to me then was that while their respect and obedience to me was expected and automatic, I too was totally responsible for them. Seniority then took on a new meaning: it was not a position to abuse at my discretion, but a burden to make sure that their safety and well-being were taken care of, particularly in times of emergencies such as the occasional fraternity rumbles.

At work: My first leadership role at work was when I was assigned as assistant unit head of our Social Marketing & Special Projects Unit, where, with our team, I crafted and field tested the social marketing strategies of PhilHealth in convincing local government units to provide health insurance protection to their indigent constituents, and providing information to the new members, many of whom had limited education, on how they could avail of their benefits. I was given much leeway by my supervisor, and one of the things I ended up doing was a manual in social marketing. The memory of such a sophomoric document amuses me to no end: how proud I felt back then, and how naive I was back then about strategies that inevitably dissolve once they face the rigors of actual implementation.

Nonetheless, this got me an opportunity to head my own unit, the fledgling Private Sponsorship Unit, where we, for the first time, sought to reach private sector sponsors who might be willing to donate funds for indigent sector coverage. This was the first significant challenge to me, since I was directly reporting to both our Program Director and to the President & CEO of PhilHealth. It was difficult, to say the least, since convincing the private sector was a totally different ballgame altogether. The only incentive to them, monetarily speaking, was through tax breaks (since they were donating to a flagship project of the government), and they too had their own foundations and corporate social responsibility programs. Nonetheless, before I left, our team was able to bag a few significant sponsors.

After a two-year interlude (discussed in my reflection paper #1), I was back in PhilHealth, but this time, in our Cebu Regional Office. After a couple of years as a one-man Planning Unit, I was assigned to our Danao Service Office in 2006, where I took on the multi-dimensional task of being a frontline manager. Once more, my tasks included talking to local officials, supervising our small staff, and basically representing the corporation in Northern Cebu. Eventually, in 2009, I was assigned to our brand-new Mandaue Service Office, whose birth I started with a rather audacious position paper showing why it made sense to have another office just for Metro Cebu. The audacity paid off, and I found myself leading a team of pioneers in a new area.

At work II: Around the same time, a close friend of mine discussed with me the possibility of having my own business. After a discussion that covered Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad, which outlined the advantages of making money work for you rather than you working for money, I got, albeit skeptically, into network marketing, representing an international company based in the United States. This was a mold that reshaped me as a leader. Unlike the office, where you can lead simply by being in a position, network marketing involves creating a sales force that is basically made up of self-motivated, self-employed individuals who may or may not be on the same page as you are. Working up to an Executive position there was hard work: you had to reach a particular sales volume, and this could be done only by either being a super-salesperson (I was not), or by having a highly-motivated team. Recruitment was only step one: you had to keep them on board and excited, and willing to work hard even after office hours (we were mostly part-timers in my group).

My first race to Executive level failed abysmally in three months, and had me crying on the shoulder of my upline. He then asked me if I wanted to have another go at my dreams, or if I was going to quit, and I chose the former. I finally clawed my way up, and in the process, started a couple of small teams in the United States and in the United Kingdom. That gave us significant sales volume, but I still had to present, train, and lead the team in Cebu. It might sound easy for you, but if you know me, you would wonder: why was a guy like this selling, of all things, skin care? Ridiculous, I know, but do you know that Avon, the "company for women," was founded by men? Nonetheless, to teach my team, I had to know how to do facials, do product demonstrations, and even learn basic makeup! Seeing so many straight men doing it kept me from questioning my orientation: as one engineer said, "Leonard, we're simply putting the right things in the right places." I learned how to face and enjoy objections, rejections and ridicule, the unholy trinity every veteran salesman has faced. I eventually left that company due to issues with our top leaders, taking out most of my team in the process, but I also took with me lessons that continue to help me today.

Internal - My values, strength, weakness and how they affect on how I decide, act

Strengths:

I'm a smart person: I learn as I go. I'm a voracious reader and am able to learn much of whatever I set my mind to do. I was one of those old-school people who valued IQ above everything else. I am fairly adept in doing research, so what I do not know now, I can know in a few hours simply by scouring the internet. I am constantly willing to learn, and all I need is a good reason to focus.

I am resilient: what does not kill me only makes me stronger. Imagine a dog with a bone that he has been gnawing on. Imagine yourself trying to take that bone out of his jaws. Now, imagine yourself running, with your arms bleeding from a dog-bite. When I want something badly enough, I intend to get it by whatever way possible, and I intend to keep it as well. Experiences, past failures and rejections, have taught me to "endure, and in enduring, grow strong." I have heard it said that there really is no such thing as failure: there is success, or achieving your goal, and then there is learning, where you "pay the tuition fee" to know how not to do something. As an ancient Japanese proverb has it:

I am expressive through verbal, written, and non-verbal means. This simply means that I have the ability to speak my mind, and get my point across.

I can break convention.  Forget thinking out of the box. Delete the box. Make a new one. This probably explains why my enneagram scores showed both an individualistic type 4 and the maverick challenger type 8.

I play to win. If winning is not an option, I won't bother playing. If I choose to get in, and if I find myself driven by the prize, I give it my best shot. I do not mind competition or cooperation: whatever gets the job done is what I would do.

Weaknesses:

This is probably the part I do not want to reveal. Revelation of one's weaknesses opens one to exploitation and humiliation. It violates most of the 48 Laws of Power (Robert Greene), one of most pragmatic books in the tradition of Machiavelli's The Prince. Yet self-revelation can also be revealing, for what could be more pathetic than one who refuses to acknowledge what others already see?

I have low EQ. I can mimic empathy, but I am mostly insensitive, inconsiderate and self-absorbed. I can be cold and indifferent to suffering, unless I or those close to me are at the receiving end. This is something that I am continuing to work on, and I am blessed to have a patient and understanding wife who shows me by word and need what it means to care.

I can be driven by the wrong reasons. Praise is one of my weaknesses. To be affirmed and valued are two of my deepest needs. This can make me gullible and open to manipulation through sincere-sounding but ultimately empty flattery. This probably stems from that feeling that I need to prove myself time and again, especially in the face of past failures.

I can be outspoken to the point of tactlessness or rudeness. Thinking before speaking is somewhat a challenge to me, not that I do not think: I do, but I do not pause and consider how others might feel about what I have to say. I can be eloquent in the art of insult, and because of this, caused unnecessary hurt and offense.

I have trouble with authority figures. I resent being constantly told what to do or what not to do, so not being in control is something that causes me to chafe and retaliate. I find rules to be shackles that constrain my creativity. I don't like being bothered by minute details, and that causes me to be reckless in decision-making. Time has taught, and continues to teach me, the value of details, and how these things relate to the end-goal or big picture.

I play to win, and I don't care how. My default tends to be zero-sum: for me to win, you have to lose, and the more badly you lose, the more I will relish my win. History, as Winston Churchill says, is written by the victors, so I will go for the kill, and bother with the paperwork later. Team effort (unless I am the leader) is something I am in the process of learning deliberately. Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and John Maxwell's books and seminars on leadership are among the things that have caused me to slowly abandon this unhealthy level of competitiveness.

I have a short temper. I have a short fuse, and once something hits my nerves, or when I get extremely frustrated, I find myself literally shaking in anger. It requires a deliberate exercise of my will to keep it at bay, but those who have worked with me (and lived with me) have seen or experienced first-hand how explosive and violent my temper can be. 

I used to have really low self-esteem. You won't see it most of the time, because people who know me say I radiate with self-confidence that borders, and often crosses over to arrogance. Yet psychologists have, in many behavioral studies, examined how this mask, this coping behavior, is something people put on in order to hide their true selves. The problem with the mask is that after wearing it too often, one becomes confused about what his true self is, and which is the carefully crafted and practiced persona.

 

How do they prepare you for your future challenges?

What is the new learning?

The journey of reflection is a journey into one's inner being, and to steel oneself for what one might face. How many knights in shining armor have ventured into the dragon's lair only to find himself not as the hero of contemporary fantasy lore, but a thief and a murderer who seeks only to rob the lair, enslave the serpent, and kill her offspring? We need a paradigm shift to view the story from the viewpoint of the other side. That is why in my reflection on my strengths and weaknesses, I have often found that at times, the source of what seemed to be my greatest strength was also the womb that birthed my weakness. Realizing this, I now seek for balance. I may not have been a hero in my own eyes, but to the eyes of my children, I am their hero, their strength, their protector. I may still play to win, but now, I value the win-win proposition: how can I win in a way so that all may benefit?

I have also learned, and am continuing to learn, about doing the right thing at the right time, rather than what simply comes to my mind. From this, I draw wisdom from Kenny Roger's song The Gambler:

 

There are some challenges that are worth it, and there are some that prudence dictates you should give up. Wisdom is knowing which is which.

What is the relation to what I already know?

Recently, I have come across this quote that has made me reflect on all those people I have hurt by my rudeness, tactlessness and spitefulness. Here it is:

This is true. I myself no longer remember most of the words that have left wounds in other people's hearts, but I remember, and now with a sense of regret, how putting them down once made me feel good. This hopefully should teach me to pause and reflect, and perhaps filter, the first words that would come to my mind, and ask myself if this is something that would build one up or tear one down. My own pain and suffering should never be an excuse to hurl it back to others. Rather, they should drive me to protect others from having to go through the anguish I have felt over them, whether they were self-inflicted (due to stupid decisions) or caused by others.

These reflections of the past are lessons that are best learned when applied to future challenges.

What have I done, am doing, will be doing for this topic?

When faced with a difficult customer, I could now try to put myself in his or her shoes, and rather than retort in an inflammatory way, seek first to understand where he or she is coming from. Then, I could craft a solution that would meet both our needs and leave us as better people.

Instead of merely asking, "How can I win?" I can practice asking first, "how can we both win?" Instead of using my talents to simply impress, I can ask myself first, "How can this help by adding lasting value to others?"

There is wisdom in John Maxwell's definition of a leader:

 

I will not be in this world forever, and with my remaining years, I dedicate myself to being this kind of leader at home, in my work, in my family, in my business, and in my life: a leader who is competent (knows the way), consistent (goes the way), and transformational (shows the way). 

<excellent, top rate reflection;  show them the way Leonard. Go go go>