My Genogram – Cabuyadao / Bagasol and Tapec / Monje Families
Both my parents came from big families. My father is the 7th of 8 siblings, while my mother is the 7th of 9 siblings. They are also the younger ones in their respective families and married quite late. My grandparents had already passed away when I was born, hence, I don't have any experience or I don't know how it feels to have a Lolo or Lola. Likewise, several of my Uncles and Aunts have died early, so I haven't met them and/or have no recollection of them, if ever I met them when I was young.
Also, the deaths of my grandparents and my parents' siblings happened long time ago, hence, my parents are unable to recall the exact dates of their deaths, birthdays and ages. Their memories are also no longer that sharp considering that they are now 91 and 80 years old.
Father Side
Grandfather: Rufino Cabuyadao (+) – According to my father, he was a hard working farmer. He was not considered a leader in the village during his time. He never went to school.
Grandmother: Agustina Bagasol (+) – She was a housewife and was into loom weaving.
Their Children:
1) Cezaria (+) – She was a single parent. She was victim of rape, and had one son who died earlier than her. She was traumatized during World War II. If she heard the word "Hukbalahap" she went berserk, ran away and went into hiding. Her life was full of trials because their house was burned to ashes and they have not recovered much after the incident. She never went to school. She died of natural cause, probably in her 80s.
2) Paula (+) – She was housewife, with 4 children. She never went to school. She also died of natural cause, probably in her 80s.
3) Juan (+) – He was a farmer and died of drowning when he had asthma attack while swimming. He never went to school and had one son (+).
4) Basalisa (+) – She was single in her 20s when she died from unknown illness. There were no doctors back then. She never went to school.
5) Loreta (+) – She was also single in her 20s when she died from unknown illness. She never went to school.
6) Mundo (+) – He was single when he died in his 20s. He was found dead in the farm fields, probably due to snake bite.
7) Reymundo (My father) – He is 91 years old. He used to work in the farm, probably until he was in his mid-70s. He practiced a healthy living. He would only drink basi (sugar cane wine) during special occasions, but I haven't seen him drunk in his entire life. He prefers vegetables over meat. He doesn't smoke tobacco or cigarettes even when he was younger. He finished second grade at only.
During his early 60s to 70s, he was a respected elder in our village or community. During that time, when barangay officials were not that structured yet, he was the mediator of the two opposing parties for certain issues. Also, during pamamanhikan, he used to negotiate what's the reasonable dowry that may be given to the bride. Also, during elections, he used to endorse candidates and most people would vote whoever he endorsed.
8) Ernesto (+) – He was the youngest. He was a farmer, with five children. He went to school, but did not finish primary education. He died in his 70s.
Mother Side
Grandfather: Narciso Tapec (+) – According to my mother, he was patient and a hardworking farmer. He never went to school. He died of natural cause, probably in his 70s. According to my mother, he was not considered a leader in the community.
Grandmother: Teodora Monje (+) – She was a housewife. She never went to school and died of natural cause, probably in her 70s.
Their Children:
1) Agapita (+) – She was a housekeeper, with four children. She died of natural cause, probably in her 70s.
2) Tiladio (+) – He was a hardworking farmer. He had two children. He died of natural cause, probably in his 70s.
3) Isabel (?) – According to my mother, she was separated from the family during WWII. They have heard that she was living in a faraway town, but they haven't seen her for over 50 years. We're not certain whether she's still alive or not.
4) Fermin (+) – He lived in Mindanao with four children. He was a farmer and attended primary education. He died of natural cause in his 70s.
5) Martina – She is a housewife with one child. She attended primary school only.
6) Gertrudes - She is a housewife with five children. She attended primary school only.
7) Marina (My mother) – She is turning 80 years old in October. She is still fit and agile. She's a housewife and used to work in the farm and loom weaving when she was younger. My brother and I have learned how to weave the abel iloko from her.
8) Ernesto (+) – He was a farmer with one child. He attended primary school only.
9) Geminiano – He is the youngest and carpenter, with five children.
My Siblings:
1) Henry – He finished high school only. He is farmer, with two children. I'm supporting my nephew and niece's college education, and I hope that they would graduate next year (March/April 2015).
2) Hector – He did not finish high school. He is a farmer and a part-time tricycle driver. His first two kids had lived for a couple of hours and days only. His third and surviving son is now in 1stYear High School.
3) Randy – He finished a vocational course and used to be an OFW in Taiwan. He is now into farming, with three children ages from 6 to 12.
4) Nilo – The fifth and youngest. He finished a four-year technical course in college, but never really applied them in his jobs. He used to work as OFW in Taiwan for several years, and now he is about to leave for Canada to work in a farm. He has three little girls ages 4 to 8.
Analysis:
All my grandparents, parents, uncles and aunts were farmers and housekeepers, and mostly had no or little education. Their lives were simple and probably hard because the farms they tilled during their lifetime were not their own.
Also, my grandparents don't seem to be leaders at all. I could only trace the leadership skill from my father, when he was in his 50s to 80s. Of course, people in our community would normally respect elderly, but my father has counterparts with the same age level, but the respect given to his counterparts were different.
Among my siblings, I don't see anyone who is following the footsteps of my father. Having been able to get the highest educational attainment, with exposure working in different environments and cultures in several countries, I am probably the one who could come close to my father's leadership skills, of course at different situations and circumstances.
In addition to his leadership skills, my father lived a healthy lifestyle, as proven by his 91 years of existence. That is also one of the qualities that I want to emulate from my father.
by Rony Cabuyadao
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