CHARMIE DUNGCA ARRIBE, MD
LEADERSHIP
REFLECTION PAPER 2 4
"WHAT SHAPED ME TO BECOME THE LEADER I AM NOW?"
1. External - what are family, environment school and work experience that shaped you today?
2. Internal - your values, strength, weakness and how do they affect on how you decide act
3. How do they prepare you for your future challenges?
Knowing oneself is the key to authentic leadership, this has been said over-and-over in the past 4 sessions of our course. It is not easy to know oneself without courage because it means one should recognize his strengths, ambitions, current positions, plans, passions, wants and needs. But in order to really know oneself, one should also acknowledge his weaknesses, failures, bad habits, and all his "brokenness." Once one accounts for all of these, then he is ready to accept himself and move on as a "whole" person and leader at that. Leaders should also be malleable (like gold), so when these leaders go 'through the fire' of different experiences they can be moulded accordingly. Paulo Coelho once said, "People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves."1
How did my experiences shape me as a leader? Who am I now? How am I being of service to God, my country, my community, and my family? Where am I headed? What is in store for me in the future?
As I reflect on what made or influenced me to becoming what I am today, the more I appreciate this course for making me think on it deeply.
EXTERNAL INFLUENCES
FAMILY
A family is the basic unit of society2 and it is where our first experiences in life mostly come from. I was the firstborn of Orlando and Camila, my dad is an engineer and my mom though an accounting graduate chose motherhood to be her career. My mom was my first teacher. She taught me how to pray, how to sing, how to read, and how to dance (though I am very sure I didn't catch all her dance moves). My dad worked as a Mechanical Engineer at the Clark Air Base then. My childhood was very simple, we never really were exposed to travel & leisurely ways. My parents always told us that the only thing they can give us is good education. I grew up with my 3 siblings in a bungalow house and our past time then was playing with our friends in our neighbourhood. I remembered that once we wake up at 8am on a Saturday, we are already out to play with our friends up until my mom screams her heart out that it was 1pm and we haven't eaten a decent meal. My childhood days were very simple but were most definitely fun. My parents made sure that Sunday was church day and we visited our grandparents every after church. They taught us to pray the Angelus & the Rosary at specified days and times. My family was brought up in the "pass it on" system, we "passed on" our smaller clothes or shoes to the sibling whose size fit them. It didn't always translate that I was bought new things as my mom was wiser to ask from my older cousins some things they can "pass on" to me too.
EDUCATION
My dad struggled in sending us four to Holy Family Academy (a private school in Angeles City ran by the Benedictine sisters) through grade school and high school. I took it upon myself to study well to repay my parents hard work, love and perseverance. I was a consistent honor student from elementary to high school, I was consistently in the dean's list in my college years (in Physical Therapy). In my second year as BS PT student we had to take this qualifying exam to be able to get promoted to third year Physical Therapy proper, I studied hard and prayed hard as well to prepare for that qualifying exam for it was a "make or break" situation. I aimed for the stars and lo and behold I was the topnotcher in my batch. Despite my parents' financial challenges in sending my 3 siblings through school when I finished my course, my father asked if I would like to take up Medicine and that he will support me. I tried to get a scholarship to ease the financial burden and God blessed me with an entrance scholarship at Angeles University College of Medicine. I finished my med school with flying colors as I was third in rank of among our graduating batch. And when I passed the board exams my dad said it was time to get me out of my comfort zone and get trained in Manila. I applied to St. Luke's Medical Center and I passed their Adult Neurology straight program then, but I was not happy seeing adult people get sick because of mostly "bad habits" so I drifted to train in Pediatrics. I was a student leader holding positions in the Junior Assembly (the elementary students' representing body) and Student Council (the highest governing body in High School), I was in the debate team in my college years as well. The successes and failures I have faced in my school days were not bad as they were struggles that brought me my real friends, mentors and they were struggles that strengthened my faith.
WORK EXPERIENCE
When I finished college, I took my Physical Therapy Licensure Exam and as I passed the boards I worked as the head Physical Therapist at a Rehab Clinic in Angeles City. I worked for 2 years then I decided to take up med school. I never did stop working as a PT until I was in third year med proper because the load was already full that I can no longer attend to my patients then. Working as a PT, augmented my expenses especially in acquiring books then. As I was the Chief PT of the Rehab Clinic, I made sure I set good examples to my colleagues and my interns. I was punctual and precise in setting PT goals for my patients. I was asking the advise of my Orthopedist boss to guide me in treatment regimens that are "challenging." I made sure that the interns learned in their rotation at the clinic. I believe "I walk the talk." Residency training was a different work experience for you get paid to do the scut work. Residency training taught me how to be patient, determined, driven, amicable, pious and especially love my patients as they taught me how to be a good paediatrician. My pediatric residency training gained me extra 12 "siblings," as this is how I consider my batch mates through our tough training. Together, we faced "hell and high waters" of the pediatric world and together we saw through and graduated. I am now in my 5th year as a Pediatric Consultant and I know I have more to learn. I have tried to go to a pulmonology and neurology subspecialty training but I guess they were not for me. I became passionate about breastfeeding and became an advocate since I had my firstborn son. I am a Lactation Consultant since 2012, I have trained to become a breastfeeding counsellor and coach to my patients. February 2014, we formed the 1st breastfeeding & parenting support group in Angeles City called Abe-Abe Breastfeeding Club or ABCmoms. The group aims to provide support to struggling breastfeeders, to source out milk for parents of premature babies needing breastmilk, to give parenting advises and lectures. ABCmoms has it shares of challenges from the non-believers of breastfeeding down to the "strict" advocates. Our group has its shares of mocking and bashings in the social media, but as I always tell them "stick to the goal," we will continue to help spread the breastfeeding culture in the moral way we believe. It is still a growing group but I am proud to say that we are already affiliated to the big hospitals in our community.
INTERNAL INFLUENCES
VALUES/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESS
In my way of life, what I value most is time. It is precious to all of us, it can mean "money" to some. Time can prove how valuable people are in our life (whether they are our children, family, classmates or patients) because the more quality time you give to them the more valuable they become. Time, as they say, heals all wounds too. So I am a very time-respecting person. I get frustrated when I am late in meetings, classes or gatherings at that, I do not embody the old adage of the "Filipino Time" because I am one of those who will make sure that the Filipino Time is ON TIME. I am also a focus-driven individual, I face the challenges that need to be faced up front but I also know when to concede. Since I became a mother, I was also blessed with the value of justice and perseverance. I am a very emotional person and this is the area where I can lead to "disintegration" as my enneagram would explain. I am not a very health conscious person (I enjoy junk foods like chips, pizza, burgers and fries) until lately. I have to walk the talk as I advise my patients to drink lots of water and eat the right kinds of food and so I am learning to do this and am unlearning my not-so-good habits. I am sometimes a procrastinator where I can do nothing all day long, but as I am being a good example to my sons this attitude I am almost rid of.
HOW DO I PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE?
Being a wife, mother, paediatrician, teacher/lecturer and an advocate is being a servant-leader. I did not really see the multitude of task I deal with everyday until I had time to reflect on them and I see the great responsibility I am currently handling. I am molding the character of my children (in facing their future), handling my patients' health and well-being, empowering my students with the knowledge they need and inspiring and influencing the mothers of my advocacies and beliefs and with pride and dignity I will do my best to deliver. This self-awareness has empowered me many-folds and as I courageously acknowledge my weaknesses, I am slowly unfolding into a more promising authentic leader that I never knew I can become. I am eager to discover what lies ahead especially in my role as an MBA student, my father acknowledged that even if I am just in my 3rd subject he noticed how differently good I have already become. I am continuing this journey to enrich me and the people around me and hopefully making a difference through "small ripples" in our society.
2 http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/family
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