MY GENOGRAM by Leader VP Belina S. Katigbak

MY GENOGRAM – BELINA S. KATIGBAK

FATHER'S SIDE:

Father's Father - LUIS SINGIAN was born on January 8 (unknown year) – According to my eldest sister who has fond memories of my "Ingkong Luis", my grandfather was unschooled but learned through the "Cartilla".  According to stories, the Cartilla system of education was some kind of primer translating lessons from Spanish to English, which was done in small informal groups.  Ingkong Luis was hardworking, jolly fellow, responsible, and practical.  My eldest sister remembers Ingkong Luis as a loving grandfather and generous to his grandchildren.  I was very young, maybe six years old when Ingkong Luis died.  What I fondly remember is that on his last days, I served him by cleaning his linens, young as I was. He died of old age.

Father's mother - MAGDALENA GALBAN was born on May 29 (unknown year), was, like my grandfather, unschooled but learned through the "Cartilla". Together with my siblings and father, I have fond memories of "Apung Dena".  She was an industrious, helpful, simple, and self-sacrificing mother and grandmother.  According to my elder sister, Apung Dena served my mother, her daughter-in-law, by doing laundry for her during the first few months after my mother gave birth to ten of us.  Her endearing and thoughtful ways are enshrined in my heart.  I fondly recall how she used to wipe my head and face with cold towel when I had fevers for I was a sickly child; and she took care of me.  She died of old age.

MY AUNT AND UNCLE ON MY FATHER'S SIDE:

1.      Epifania Singian-Villanueva – born on July 12, 1912, at age 103, she is still beautiful!  With a keen mind, she still recognized me when I visited her the other week to greet her on her 103^rd birthday. She is a loving aunt, industrious, very tidy and meticulous.  She is very proud of us!

2.      Urbano Singian – finished Grade School, simple, hardworking and a quiet carpenter.  He was dedicated to his work.  I remember how he quietly and patiently did the roof of our nipa house. He died of heart failure.

3.      HILARIO G. SINGIAN, SR. – my father, Tatang, the youngest in his family was born on April 6, 1920.  He finished Grade Two.  He used to tell me about his achievements, like in the middle of the school year when he was in Grade Two, his teacher sent him home, only to be told that he has mastered all the remaining lessons for that school year.  The teacher told my grandmother that Tatang was intellectually advanced.  Because he devoured his books, the teacher told Apung Dena that he has no more lessons to teach Tatang for that school year.  Eventually, my father got sick and Apung Dena made him stop studying. Though deprived of formal education thereafter, Tatang boasts of informal education.  He finished reading the Bible.  He read books about Theology, Medicine, etc…He will turn 96 comes April.

MOTHER'S SIDE:

Mother's Father – Ponciano Quilala was born on December 2 (unknown year), was unschooled but learned through the "Cartilla".  I have no memories about Ingkung Ciano because he died of heart failure long before I was born.  My mother introduced him to me as a father who enjoys doing things to make his children happy, like celebrating memorable events by cooking pig "lechon" himself. My sister said that Ingkong Ciano built our house by using bamboos. Ingkung Ciano, according to my eldest sister is prayerful, generous, practical, and resourceful.  He was also unschooled but learned thru "Cartilla".

Mother's Mother – CRISPINA MANGIO was born on December 3 (unknown year), was likewise unschooled but learned through the "Cartilla". She was a good cook, had sweet smiles, which I inherited!  She died of old age.  What I do remember about Apung Pina are childhood anecdotes of sneaking into her pantry with my younger brother, to feast on her grapes. 

MY AUNTS AND UNCLES ON MY MOTHER'S SIDE:

1.  MARIA SALOME QUILALA-CADIANG – She was born on Oct. 22, 1911.  She died of heart failure on November 13, 1994.  My eldest sister remembers her hospitality, self-sacrifices and charitable ways.
2. MA. LOURDES - Born on February 11, 1916, my mother looks forward to her centennial birthday – counting 6 months and 21 days from now.  God gave her a keen mind and strong spirit. Ima is practical, hardworking, loving, resourceful, and most of all prayerful.  She is very devoted to my father and fought for her love when it was threatened by a third party.  I honor my mother for her belief that, "For every child, a blessing".  That is why we have quite a big family.  My mother was on her second year in high school when her father made her stop studying because of the latter's belief that women did not need further education because they would marry anyway.  But when my mother's younger sister, Mang Belen, finished high school, my mother saw to it that provisions were made for her sister to continue studies.  Thus, my mother helped in the education of her sister.
3. PIO QUILALA – He was born on July 11, 1919 and died of gastro disease on May 26, 2008.  According to my sister, Bapang Pio finished high school education, was hardworking and loving.
4. BIENVENIDO QUILALA – born on March 21, 1921, Tang Bembing finished high school education.  He was simple and loving.  He is remembered for his heroic death while holding on the cabinet that was believed to have protected his grandchildren from drowning during the onslaught of lahars in Bacolor on October 1, 1995.
5. FLORENTINO QUILALA – born on October 27, 1922, Tang Iring finished high school education. He is a loving, devoted husband to Mang Emerita, his wife, and a good provider.  He died of gastro disease, like his elder brother, Pio.
6. BELEN QUILALA ANGELES – born on January 24, 1924, Mang Belen finished her college education through the provisions of my mother. She is a member of the Third Order of Discalced Carmelites and currently spends her old age doing services for the congregation. She loves my mother so much.

MY SIBLINGS:

1. PAULINO – born on April 29, 1943, Kong Poli died of beriberi, six days after birth.
2. SR. DELIA MARI, O.S.B. – Sr. Del was born on April 20, 1944.  She finished her degree in BSE at the University of Sto. Tomas.  A scholar from elementary till college, she graduated Magna cum laude.  She is a disciplinarian, hardworking, self-made, and a tough woman.  On her shoulders rested the responsibility of providing for our family from the time she graduated.  She was responsible in giving dignity to the poverty situation at home.  She was a well-respected teacher in Physics and Mathematics.  Her graduate studies as a scholar in Nuclear Science nearly turned around our economic status were it not for her vision and mission to serve the Lord in the convent at an opportune time.  When she had empowered all her eight siblings, and after putting up a house that we could call our own, she entered the convent and joined the Order of St. Benedict (O.S.B.) of Tutzing, Germany.  I owe much of my leadership skills from Sr. Del.  She taught me a lot about self-regulation (division of labor), self-discipline (time management), self-restraint (self-control: needs over wants), piety (to raise hands and bend knees to God in prayer), love for the poor (empathy), generous self-giving (heroism and servant-leadership).  She influenced me greatly and it was Sr. Del who enrolled me in the Accounting course.  I owe her my CPA title.
3. ELFLEDA S. BATAC – Ate Elda was born on February 8, 1946.  She finished her degree in BSEED, with a delay of six years when she stopped going to school to take her of us, her younger siblings.  She is self-sacrificing, reaching out to those in need, and a trustworthy steward.  In our younger years, I remember her doing laundry for all of us, her siblings, and also for others in order to augment family income.  After graduation, she had varied teaching stints in public schools.  Soon she became an employee of and later on an executive at the Girl Scouts of the Philippines.
4. ROMEO – Koya Romy was born on August 31, 1948.  He finished an AB degree while doing janitorial work. He is a loving, hardworking, and caring brother.  My fond memories of him are the times when he used to carry me while I was a child, and also he was my first date when he took my younger brother and me to a movie house to watch Mary Poppins.  He is also an achiever in his career.  He garnered the most awards as a salesman during his time.  He was also a leader in the church as an EMDC.
5. ADORACION S. WERDA – Ate Dory was born on September 5, 1950.  She finished her degree in BSE at the University of the Assumption, thereafter made a career in teaching.  She was only 30 years old when her husband died. A few years later, she left for Australia where she served as church volunteer in the mission of evangelization.  She met an Australian, and they got married. She is residing in Brisbane, Australia. Ate Dory used to be our cook during my younger years.  She is gifted in the art of declamation and stage acting.
6. FR. HILARIO Q. SINGIAN, O.P.  – named after my father, Fr. Hilario or Fr. John as I fondly call him, was born on October 1, 1952.  A consistent scholar from elementary years, he chose the path of serving the Lord in the priesthood after he finished his MA in Philosophy, Cum Laude at the University of Sto. Tomas.  He is a good priest of the Order of Preachers of St. Dominic.  What I know about his leadership is that he was given varied positions in the congregation like, Vice-Rector of UST and Vice of the Superior-General in Rome for Asia-Pacific.  Fr. John is a spendthrift, yet generous to those in need.  He plans to put up a foundation for the education of the poor.  He is a man for others.  While he had the "power in his hands' with the bestowal of a powerful and influential position, he volunteered to serve the poor in Dagat-dagatan where he is currently assigned.  His leadership is heroic in a sense, because he volunteered to continue the ministry of his priest-predecessor when the latter was killed by a man who snatched the bicycle that the priest was riding on.
7. FORTUNATO – He was born on October 14, 1954.  Kong Forting finished a degree in BSIE at the then Don Honorio Ventura Memorial School of Arts and Trade, now known as DHVTSU, a state university.  Kong Forting is a quite, introvert, known for his simplicity, thoughtfulness and kindness.  He used to teach at Pampanga High School until he got sick of depression due to abusive colleagues who took advantage of him.
8. ROSEMARIE S. CHAVEZ – Ate Rose was born on July 14, 1956 and died of colon cancer on January 16, 2009.  As an outstanding student in earlier years, she earned her degree in Management through a scholarship by Dr. Angeles of the Angeles University Foundation and a job in Clark Hospital of Clark Air Base, Angeles.  Ate Rose was one of those given outstanding award on her graduation.  A very witty, creative, jolly, beautiful, and generous sister, Ate Rose was my soul mate.  When my eldest sister, Sr. Del left for the convent to become a nun, Ate Rose took over the responsibility in the family.  She provided for my daily allowance.  I was a scholar in college, and she was my cheerer, inspiration, and best friend. Her death left a hallow part in my heart. 
9. BELINAS. KATIGBAK –  I was born on February 19, 1958
10. CLEOFAS – Peng was born on September 25.  If my memory serves me right, I know that he was the class valedictorian from Preparatory school till High School graduation.  He earned his B.S. Civil Engineering degree at the Aquinas University, Magna cum Laude.  He is a licensed Geodetic Engineer and Civil Engineer turned pilot.  He is a genius.  In his high school days, he read the whole dictionary, only because he had to represent his school in Spelling Bee.  He was always a "First Prize" awardee – in all fields, namely, Academics, Poetry, Essay Writing, Poster-Making, and whatever contests he would join, even in Chess.  When year after year he would bag all the prizes (while the contests allowed only submission of pseudo names), he was elevated to the Hall of Fame to give way to others. Today, he works for an international airline.

SUMMARY:

            Doing the Genogram activity is an experience of liberation, healing, and appreciation of the web of life.  I realized that to become an authentic leader is to accept and embrace the whole of life.  I personally did not have a good knowledge of my ancestors. I was hesitant to do this Genogram at first.  My hesitation to do the Genogram is rooted from a not so good childhood experience.   In 1975 a relative from my mother side asked my family to vacate the lot where our house stood, and which she was able to buy from my grandmother.  I felt the misery of the squatters who had to look for a place to settle.  And so, when the time came to finally leave my birthplace, I buried memories there.  We started a new life, but never did we attempt to put up a reunion with our relatives for almost 40 years.  Maybe I was too young then to fully understand the situation.  In my research work for the Genogram, I was amazed with the discovery.  There is one word that stood out in the description of my maternal ancestors and relatives by my eldest sister.  It is the adjective "LOVING". 

This exercise is liberating in a sense that it gave me a different optic about my maternal relatives, that after all, they were GOOD, and they had their own strength of character despite their weaknesses.

After analyzing my Genogram, most especially the traits of my siblings, I saw a pattern that made me realize that we must have inherited a good deal of attributes from our ancestors.  We inherited their intelligence and good disposition.  We are a product of their love. My ancestors did not hold positions in society, and probably were not considered leaders in the eyes of the world.  They were born poor, unschooled formally, but they were educated in real sense of the word. I cannot boast of any single piece of land inherited from them (maybe they lack aggressiveness).  I am consoled that in my genes are traits of my ancestors that are worthy of praise. I have their traits of being hardworking, determined, and loving.

Maybe, I was not born a leader (?), but certainly, I was born to be a leader.  That is why God prepared me and is continuously preparing me for authentic leadership!  The road to authentic leadership starts with self-awareness (where did I come from?).  The journey continues with forgiveness of past pains, and appreciation of the whole of life.

Thank you Prof. for guiding me through this path of authentic leadership…<It is in the syllabus. It is also an experience for me...a new experience.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts>