Anne Mayette Vitug- Boese
Genogram
Grandfather – Jose Beltran Vitug
My grandfather "Apo Pepe" is the youngest amongst his siblings. His family is originally from Lubao and moved to Porac where he met and married my grandmother. He was a teacher and became the District Supervisor of several towns in Pampanga. He was also a US Military Veteran and they moved back and forth to the US in the 90's. He had a temper and he was feared when he gets angry. Now at 93 years old, he still has one of the sharpest memories I have ever known. He valued education so much and believe in the importance of having a diploma. He was able to send one of his brothers and my grandma to school. He would boast to us, "I sent your grandma to school." Apo is also a disciplinarian; he is very strict with himself and his children. My grandfather is a survivor in every definition. What do I mean by survivor? He survived death 5 times in his lifetime and he can still vividly tell you his story. Last night, July 20, 2015 at 6pm I asked him to retell me his story so that I could share it with you all on my Genogram:
1. During the Japanese occupation, his family escaped and hid in the mountains of Porac - but unfortunately one of his brothers Conrado got caught by the Japanese and was detained in Lubao. Eager to save his brother, he walked the mountains of Porac to Lubao. Getting there he was disappointed to find out that his brother Conrado refused to escape the Japanese, fearing their lives would be at stake. Apo returned to Porac, and along the way there were two Japanese trucks that spotted him. He saw them first so he was able to run into the sugar cane (he even jokingly said "its good thing the sugar cane was not yet harvested , so I was able to hide good") They fired several gun shots towards him but he survived.
2. My Apo said he got lucky once again when he was studying in Manila. In one of his trips from Manila-Pampanga, the jeepney he rode crashed in Malolos. A lot of people died but he survived.
3. On his way back to Mabalacat from Manila he was stopped by a group of Hukbalahap. Everyone had guns and he thought they were going to shoot him. One guy asked him, "Do you know Atty. Gopez?" He immediately said yes sir he lives 2 blocks away from where I live. And they left him after that unharmed.
4. The 4th incident happened when he was already the district supervisor in the town of Mabalacat. While riding the Jeepney, being a gentleman, he offered his seat to a woman. During the trip they were hit by a Mini Van. He survived, but the woman he offered his seat to died in the crash.
5. After the death of my Grandma, my grandpa underwent a crucial head surgery because one night he said he was being visited by my grandma. Eager to follow her, he fell on the bed and hit his head. I am happy to share that he survived that ordeal as well. Everyone thought he had a 50/50 chance because of his age. If you ask him about all of this, he'll say, "Quing Lugud ning Apung Guino atsu kupa keni (Because of the Love of God I am still here)".
Because of his amazing story he was invited by Megastar Sharon Cuneta to be a guest on her show. Apo is a survivor and a fighter.
Grandmother- Josefina Tadeo Vitug
Apu Pinat is what we call her. She was a devoted Catholic and also a teacher. She was born Nov. 26, 1926. My Apo (Grandpa) is the one who sent her to college because he believes in the importance of education. Grandma is the exact description of grandparents in books and movies - sweet, generous and kind. I know a lot of fairytale stories because of my bedtime with grandma. My Grandpa is the strict and disciplinarian while Grandma is the spoiler. Both Apu and Apo loved their grandchildren and made sure that we stayed in their house on summer vacations. My grandpa used to complain that everything they had saved in the US, my grandma would send to the Philippines. Although she loved all her children she had a special bond with my Dad. My dad was very sweet and close to Grandma. She would always tell me this story about my dad:
"Your dad was a hardworking kid; he would sell ice candy after school to get extra allowance. One hot afternoon he was being teased by my brother (his uncle) and he answered back. During those times we cannot answer back to elders. I found out about it and took a stick and accidentally hit your dad on his mouth. I was surprised because your dad's mouth was immediately swollen from the hit. At dinner time your grandpa was looking for your dad and he was in his room crying. When we called him and grandpa saw his swollen mouth, Grandpa asked, "What happened to your mouth?" Your dad sobbingly replied, "I slipped and my face hit the floor." I cried hearing your dad's answer. "
My grandma was full of energy until my father died in 2000. When my dad was killed they were both in the US that time, when we picked her up in the airport we brought a Nurse with us because we knew she could not bear the pain. After the burial everyone noticed that Grandma was slowly getting weaker and weaker. Grandpa decided to retire and stay in the Philippines for good. Slowly her memory was deteriorating. She could not remember names and one day she didn't recognize anyone anymore. My grandma had Alzheimer's Disease, and we believe it was because she was not able to fully recover from my father's death. Every time I visited grandma, I could see sadness in her eyes and it made me tear up. Sometimes she just laughed for no reason, cried for no reason and got angry for no reason. This is the sad story of my Apu. On Aug 15, 2014 she died at the age of 88.
Their Children
Father –Josefino T. Vitug
Born Dec 27, 1955. My dad was my Hero. He was a Movie Scriptwriter and a Movie Director in the 80's. My dad was an intelligent and kind child raised by parents who were educators. According to my Grandmother, my dad was well loved and endowed by the whole family and neighborhood because of his compassionate and kind nature. With this, my dad was sent to Mother of Good Council Seminary for high school and then San Carlos Seminary where he studied Philosophy. He was elected class president and a varsity in their basketball team. My dad was a seminarian and was expected to become a man of God. Everything changed when he met, fell in love with, and eventually eloped with my beautiful mom. My mom would tell me that it was a big disappointment for my Dad's parents because they really wanted a priest in the family. Back then it was perceived as 'a life full of blessing'. My grandparents were afraid to embrace the change. As for my dad, it was not easy to choose between his parent's expectations and following his own happiness. It took a while for my grandparents to accept this big change, but it was also in their nature to forgive. My parents started from scratch and worked together to sustain our family. My dad was a very simple man and did everything for others. He had a strong passion for writing and he was always curious to find out about new things. He had a dictionary with him all the time and learned 5 new words every day. He was also my teacher and movie buddy. He wrote Tatlong Baraha, Geronimo and other actions movies in the 80's (here is a complete list of my dad's work: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1947789/). He died at the age of 45. I am thankful that I am able to share his story with the world through this subject.
Siblings
Priscilla – She was a teacher . She is now based in the US with her children. We call her "Mamay" the sweet, caring and supportive Aunt. Being the oldest in the family she was the most obedient among her siblings. At that time she had a boyfriend but my Grandpa wanted her to marry a Chinese businessman. She was forced to marry him and they had 5 children. The marriage did not work out but they are both civil with each other.
Armando – He also finished college and became a soldier, then an OFW in Saudi Arabia. He married his high school sweetheart and they had 5 children all of which are successful. Also had temper problem.
Noli – He also finished college and was entered in the military but became AWOL and left his family for another woman. He came back to his wife and was given another chance. Also had temper problem.
Lutgarda – One of my feisty and strong Aunts who is also a teacher. She married her childhood sweetheart, the brother of Lito Lapid. They have 4 kids of which are all in the US Armed Forces. They also moved to the US with their children.
Belinda – She is my BFF Aunt. She is very generous with her blessings. She is loving and kind to her loved ones, but tough to those she doesn't like. Another feisty Aunt of mine who married her childhood sweetheart who was also a Filipino US Navy. Now they are happily married for almost 30 years with 3 boys - all are successful in the US. Also had temper problem but now she was able to control it.
My dad
Elmor – One of my rebellious but funny uncles. He always had failed relationships and has several kids with different women. But he gave humor to the family. Also had temper problem.
Joselito – He and his family took care of our grandparents. He is very kind and we admire his patience in taking care of my grandparents.
Corazon – She is married to a Filipino Mechanic and she is a nurse in the US. They have 2 children. Still no grandchildren but she has pet dogs.
Jose Jr. youngest and was put up for adoption to my Grandfather's brother Alejandro. My uncle was rebellious and blamed my grandparents for sending him away.
Mother Side
Grandfather
Ulpiano Cortez – I am thankful to have a sharp long term memory as I can still recall my kind, loving and soft spoken Apong Pianong. Sadly he lost my grandma and he was left to take care of ten children - most of which were still very young at that time. He was a jolly grandpa and despite their situation I never heard him complain. He was well loved by his children and grandchildren.
Grandmother- Justa Canlas Cortez – I did not know much about Lola Justa but they told me that she was probably one of the fairest women in her town. Everyone who knew her said she was very beautiful. She died at only 40 years old.
Grandmother Rebecca Cortez – She is my grandpa Ulpiano's sister. She did not have her own family but she helped my grandpa to take care of his 10 children. I included her in my Genogram because she is close to my heart. When I was 3 years old she taught me to pray in Latin and Japanese words. We prayed the rosary every night. On her deathbed she was asking for me, but I was in Porac that time while she was in Bacolor. I did not make it on time and she was my first heartbreak. She died at the age of 95.
Mother- Wilfrida Vitug
Born on Feb. 09, 1957, she is now 57 years old. She lives in the US with my sister and her family. My mom came from a big and poor family in Bacolor Pampanga. My mom and her sisters were lucky to get the genes of my Grandma "Fair Skin and Beautiful" while the men from my grandpa. My grandma died when my mom was only 9 years old therefore she could not remember much about her. My mom and her siblings are blessed with singing voices. They used their talent by participating different signing contests. My mom always ended up winning a sack of rice for the family. My mom never had the chance to finish high school because they had to work to make ends meet. On one of my Dad's fieldtrips he saw my mom. My dad said he was mesmerized with my mom's beauty and strong personality. Without hesitation he left the seminary and eloped with my mom. My mom was the opposite of my Dad. She was a little tough and strong. But I understand her because she endured a lot of suffering and hardships when she was younger. When I was younger I would often be jealous of my friends whose mom's were sweet and caring. But growing up I learned to understand my mom more. She was a fighter and she never experienced motherly love because at the tender age of 9 she lost her mom. My mom never left my dad's side despite all the hardships. When my dad died my mom did not stop working. My mom is a fighter and she is inspires me to keep going.
Siblings
Julieta – She married young and only finished high school. She had a small store in front her house and she was able to have one of her children finish medical school.
Ofelia – Just like all her siblings, they were not able to finish high school. She worked as a Nanny for one of the Sheiks in Saudi Arabia.
Cezar –My very funny uncle and hardworking. He was not able to finish College and he supported his family being a driver. He used his experience in driving and mechanics to teach his children. He taught his kids and they became good mechanics.
Virgilio – Unknown because he migrated to Guam in the 80's
Estrella – She was a farmer and became the second mother to my mom and her siblings. My mom said My Aunt Estrell took care of my mom and her siblings. She was hardworking and married her childhood sweetheart. The couple worked as the caretaker for the vacation house of former Governor Atty. Estelito Mendoza in Bacolor Pampanga. She also took care of me and my brother when my parents were both working.
Antonio – One of my comedic uncles. When life was hard he went to Saudi Arabia to work there for a couple of years.
Amelia – She is my sweet and caring 'Nanay Amelia". She took care of me when I was small. She became an Iglesia after marriage. Although she did not finish high school she was the one pushing her family to succeed. She has a small grocery and still works for her family.
My Mom
Elizabeth – She did not finish high school as well. Her husband Uncle Rick died very young. She was not able to cope up with the loss and had a nervous breakdown. But with the love of the family she is working to fight her depression. Slowly she got back on her feet and was able to support her 2 kids. She works in the Clarkton Hotel as a chamber maid. She valued her work so much.
Urpiano Jr. Cortez- My uncle is a carpenter and a driver. He is very comedic like my other uncles; I think this is their way to cope with life's hardships.
Rebecca – The youngest but the most ambitious in the family. She is very self conscious with her age and look. She is a Yoga instructor in Japan.
My Siblings
Mitzi Karen – Born on October 25, 1976. She graduated Civil Engineer at Holy Angel University. She is now based in the US with her husband, a Filipino US Navy and blessed with 2 adorable kids. Before she got married she worked at ADC Construction then as Municipal Engineer in our town Porac. She recently got hired as Engineering Aide in the City of San Diego. My sister is conservative and a devoted catholic. She is very devoted to our town patron saint, St. Catherine of Alexandria. Back home she was a regular officer in the Feast of St. Catherine. Even in the states she is an active member of the Feast of St. Catherine in San Diego. Although we were not close when we were younger, we later became best of friends. I am very blessed to have her as a sister.
Warren Heidegger – Born on July 25, 1980. My brother is a very sweet or shall I say "Malambing like my Dad" but he had a temper. He is very "Maasikaso". He works in the Municipality of Porac. My brother was not able to finish high school because he was a very naughty and a hardheaded kid. He has 3 kids now and still immature on parenting. Although he is the blacksheep, we are not giving up on him. My mom, my sister and myself are working together to help him understand that he needs to step up for his children.
Conclusion
To understand our full potential we must first understand ourselves. The Genogram has helped me understand certain pattern in my family tree. After walking down memory lane, I have realized the importance of going back to our roots. The stories of my family are rich and beautiful. My dad was kind and compassionate while my mom was a hard worker, strong and tough. I got a mix of traits from my parents . My thirst for knowledge came from my father side. My faith in God came from my dad and from my two Catholic devoted grandmothers. On the negative aspect I got my impatience and a little temper issue from my Father's side - though my father did not have that problem because he was calm and cool by nature. When I was younger I could easily burst when I felt something was unfair, but as I got older I have learned to control it. As my dad would say, "The true strength is not who can speak the loudest but who can hold his anger the most inside." That is the measure of real strength.
Note that my father and her sibling followed their hearts and instinct. That no matter what the consequences they did what will make them happy. Most of them succeeded in following their heart while few failed. I got my sense of humor and appreciation for simplicity from my mother side. Although my mom side came from a very poor family, they are a family full of passionate, singers and comedians. They persevere to have a better life. I am who I am today because of the beautiful memories they have instilled in my heart. I came from a family that perseveres and fights for what they believe is right in their hearts. No wonder I love to teach and motivate, it came from my family.
Now that I better understand my background, I will use this to guide me in my Leadership Journey
Thank you for reading,
Leader Anne Boese
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