Cebu Regis Leadership by Leader Ivy Eleanor Ko – Enneagram (Revised)

Dear Prof Jorge,

I am attaching my revised Enneagram paper for your comments.

Thank you for giving us the chance to revise our original submission.

Have a great week ahead!

Best Regards,

Ivy

Cebu Regis Leadership by Leader Ivy Eleanor Ko – Enneagram (Revised)

I am familiar that there are available exams that tells you your personality types, and I've taken a few myself. One exam that I am most familiar with is the Harrison Assessment examination, which my previous bosses really use like a compass in navigating one's career. After I stopped working in the corporate setting, I felt some kind of a vacuum as I no longer have access to these types of exams that I know on a personal and professional level how I am faring. It was something I miss, most especially the validations and planning on areas I need to improve on. When the Enneagram was introduced in class, it was a very welcoming news for me. I get to continue these self-assessments, what's better about it, is its free! Well, I just had to write a paper about it.  Moreover, this is even better than Harrisson. It won't strip you of your façade, it just makes you understand why you are like that, what is your internal wiring why you seem to think and act the way you do.

What is my new learning when taking an Enneagram test?

I took 3 exams from different sites to ensure I got the right type. In all three results, I got the Type 3 (Achiever). Two of the results showed I have Wing 2 (Helper), with Type 3 SO (social Instinct) Variant. Enneagram Three with a Two-Wing are described to be "The Charmer".  Reading thru the examination result and profiles, I certainly agree with how my type was described, both in the positive and the negative aspect. I even asked my husband to validate if that was how he knows me, which he confirmed. 

As I go thru this enneagram exercise, it helped me understand who I really am. It made me reflect and went through the events that had gone thru my life on why I am like this today. It got me to appreciate how things are wired in me ever since I was a child, why I acted that way on occasions and why how it has shaped me to what I am today. It made me run by my personal strengths and weaknesses. How should I maximize my strengths and improve on my weakness, that I should not feel insecure about it, but rather, take it as a challenge to get better. Actually, doing the Enneagram is related to identifying to my life's defining moments, as doing the test and analysis makes you pause and think of the times why you have reacted the way you did, and in the future, it will certainly make me think harder before reacting. 

In college, I was so happy to belong to a group of friends who's set of values and drive to do well in school is similar as mine. There were 8 of us, all girls of different backgrounds, and all of us were very competitive. The longing to belong to a social circle was fulfilled as I met these ladies in the University, and we were inseparable ever since.  In the 5 years that we were classmates, being in an all-girl clique of different backgrounds, for sure it was not all the time smooth sailing. There were fights, just like in any relationship. Back then, I was really non-confrontational. I would prefer to be diplomatic, self-accepting, and give-in to what they want. I realized this is a very Type 2 and 3 characteristic. Being a 3, Early on, I like to keep my environment harmonious and peaceful. I don't want burdened with negative emotions. Being a 2, I relate easily to people and to make friends, and I am sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings.  All of us graduated with honors and passed the CPA board exam together. One was even a board topnotcher. 

Fast forward to this day, the bond we have established stood the test of time. We got married and had kids almost at the same time, so our kids are also of the same batches. The funny thing is that the kids are all boys! So now we are in the next chapter of our lives. The relationship has transcend from being students, to travel buddies, to married life and motherhood. From discussion of assignments, to planning of trips, to sharing motherhood stories and what nots. Despite the years that have passed, the dynamics were the same when we were college students. Competitiveness is still there, but as we aged, we tend to let the little things slip by. 

I learned that all of us value our friendship, if not, our bond would not have lasted this long. All of us may have gone thru some of life's challenges at the same time, but does not mean all of us learn from it the same way, yes, because of our different outlook and experiences in life.  The test result validated my being the supportive, caring, cheerful, fun and friendly personality in the group, and for sure, I will continue this role until we become grandmothers. 

 When I started working, I always wonder why my colleagues can't see the overall picture and tend to look at things individually. How come the bosses only look at their departments, and not the company as a whole? How come my expectations for the ExCom were so high that I get easily disappointed when things don't come the way they have committed. For me, it was always to be on top of my deliverable, and I should make sure I will not leave anything uncovered, especially when I do presentations and reports.  I always ensure that I look good and confident. Because of my desire to ensure a perfect report, I always spend so much time ensuring I get things right all the time. I would sacrifice Sundays and holidays so I can prepare for board meetings which usually falls on a Monday morning. I know understand where this is coming from, as three's typically have a high drive for achievement, but to a point, have problems with work alcoholism and competitiveness. My being a 3 wants me to stay informed, know what's going on and be competent and able to get things to work efficiently. However, the flip side is I don't like to deal with inefficiency and incompetence, I have the fear on not being successful and tries hard to impress people which sometimes became exhausting. 

Having this innate trait made me realize why I am such a perfectionist on work and school. However, the negative side of it is I tend to be keep to myself the difficulties I am encountering just to look good on the exterior, I'd rather do the work myself rather than delegate it as to make things more manageable. In real life, things don't work out that way. You cannot expect things to be perfect all the time, especially when you have a partner, much worse when you have a baby. You don't think of yourself anymore, but you have to consider your partner's plans. Your timelines get haywire. You cannot just work or do your assignments on Sundays because you want to perfect a report. You have to consider that you have a family. I learned that I have to go easy on this trait and be give priority to things that matter more. I know this is not going to be easy, but the Enneagram test clearly spelled out things that can help me do it, so with the support of my husband and the determination to succeed, I pray I will be able to do it. 

What is the relationship to what I already know?

Taking advantage of how I understand myself in dealing with how life is thrown at me now gave me a better perspective of how I should charter my life moving forward. When I left work end of December 2013, I was looking forward to become a mother by June 2014. I became adjusted to being one, thus I decided to take MBA when my baby turned one. Now I am on my fourth subject, and I am thankful that I was able to have this class early on. I can do more in depth analyses asking myself if I am really happy with my life's current state, if this is the situation I want to be really at, if this is how I have envisioned myself to be. The series of reflections enabled me to understand my purpose of being better - In pursuing opportunities and reflecting on the past such as the challenges I went through. These exercises forces me to put in writing some of the things I have procrastinated to do before. In fact, it's as if I have a diary again. But this time, it is about the future, and not what happened yesterday or the week before. For sure, things  that will happen in the future will change my plans again, but I am happy to knowing my authentic self will help me avoid the struggles I've gone thru before finding the direction on where I really want to be. 

I know that when my second child turns 5, I will go back to corporate life. That is why I am taking MBA classes and constantly upgrading my skills so that I will still be updated with the current trends and technology. I want to continue to grow my network, so I can continue to learn and grow professionally. I am very eager to meet new people, be it colleagues, suppliers, customers, classmates, and most especially self-made individuals. Over the years, I have made a good network of friends who have been very helpful and I have consider as my life's mentors. I hope I can still find more mentors so I can learn from them.

What have I done, am doing, and will be doing for this topic?

The Enneagram exercise makes me connect my life and understand better. During the time I was still with my then boyfriend (now my husband), he would always tell me that I am emotionally constipated. I don't talk a lot about how I feel and he has to draw it off me. He always tells me to correct that habit as it is not healthy for our relationship. At first, I would be defensive and always tell myself it's normal because this was the way we were brought up. Not much display of feelings and emotions at home. It was not easy for me to say I love you, because we never got used to that. Good thing I gradually learned to show my true emotions and say how I feel as we go thru our relationship. Now that we are married and have our child, I vowed to myself that our children should have high EQ aside from IQ, so it would not be a struggle for them to show us how they feel. As a new parent, I was very critical of myself. "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough time to my baby, my family?" I always struggle on wanting to spend time more with family and wanting to get more work done. Times are changing, we cannot prevent digital era, thus I want to ensure that my kids will be able to communicate with us parents not only what they need physically, but most of all, emotionally, socially, mentally, and in all other aspects. In fact, I have asked husband to take the same exam so we can appreciate each other better, and know how to manage ourselves to have a good married life.

Being introduced to a free tool such as this, I have planned to include this exercise as one of my husband and mine's annual to do's similar to doing an annual physical exam. Aside from checking our physical health, it is important to check on our social, emotional and mental well-being as well. We need to become leaders of our health before we can lead our family or our organization. 

Today, I am balancing the roles of a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a consultant, and a student. Each roles have its own set of to do's and expectations to be able to succeed. Being the Type 3 that I am, it is innate that I want to fulfill each role very well. In fact, this is something I pray for everyday, that the Lord give me the guidance to be able to balance all the things I am fulfilling daily. I want to become a leader in these different roles successfully. I want to lead a life where I can show my child/ren confidence and help them succeed in life by becoming the best person they can be. Like mothers, it's not enough for leaders to simply make sure their subordinate's work done. Rather, their goal should also be to inspire those they serve to see beyond their own ambitions and needs so people will follow them voluntarily.  I can't think of a better example for my child/ren to learn leadership early on so when they grow up, leadership will easily come from within.