Reflection Paper 2 - External and Internal Factors That Shaped Me
External Factors that shape me
Family
Being raised in a FAMILY with no one who finished college education motivates me to strive getting a degree. My parents were bombarding me with a lot of sermon that in order to succeed in life, I have to complete a college education. While my father was a businessman, he didn't influence us to follow his footsteps. He wanted his children to work in a company and receive decent salary. I have seen my father and his siblings struggled to make their business profitable. I also witnessed how they spent their money in vices and luxurious things. They have not acquired any property or investments. They were buried in debt and miserable. I was used to seeing new appliances at home then after a few months will be confiscated by the loan sharks. I was in fourth year college when my I begged my dad to buy me one computer unit. I needed it for my thesis. He bought me one and it lasted for 2 months as it was again impounded. My mother had no knowledge on how to handle our finances. She would buy us apparels that are cheap but of low quality.
Physical appearance matters in REYES family. Maybe, because a typical REYES clan has physical features like those of celebrities with fair complexion, pointed nose and deep-seated eyes. I was not one of them which always put me to be a subject of ridicule by my family and relatives every time we have family gatherings like reunion. I grew up believing that I am ugly and has no place in the beautiful world of REYES clan. Because of this, I suffered from inferiority complex.
This experience of mine helped me to be more cautious and mindful on how I deal with my children. I do not want them to suffer from inferiority complex.
I also learned to save and invest to ensure the good future of my children.
School
I am blessed to meet true friends in college. One of them is my husband. They do not see me as imperfect MARICEL but a person with a lot of talents, skills and unique beauty. I experienced how to be valued. They focus more on my goodness than my flaws.
Then I met my professors who became my confidante. They brought out the best in me. The believed in my capabilities and they pushed me to be active as student leader. My school is like my home. I find refuge in my school.
I learn to love myself more.
In-laws
Then, I met my in-laws. The family provides a nurturing environment. Every person in the family, be it the youngest or eldest, has a voice. They welcome your ideas and sensitive to one's feeling. My mother-in-law taught me how to give unconditional love to my children. She is also an entrepreneur. I enjoy her style in keeping track of her sales and expenses. A typical Chinese, who have so many bank books, and uses "ARINOLA" as her cash box. Her profit from barok(a kind of mangrove bark used in Visayas and Mindanao in flavoring tuba as it gives tuba its maroon color and bitter taste that helps the natural fermentation in producing bahal and bahalina.) goes to her hospital fund. Her profit from pichi-pichi( native delicacy) goes to the savings of her grandchild and several others. Every item she sells, she has a passbook for it with specific use.
My mother-in-law taught the importance of SAVING and BUDGETING. It shaped me to strive in providing a nurturing environment for my family.
Environment
My Couples for Christ family provides me with spiritual nourishment. My husband and I attend prayer meetings regularly and we are leaders of a household group. It opened our eyes to do service by evangelizing other couples. It shaped me to care about other people and to help them spiritually. I learn to appreciate my blessings and even thank God for the problems as this made a stronger person.
My membership to socio-civic organizations taught me how to be concerned to my community. I met influential people who somehow change the way I see life. If before I focus more on my personal gain, now I focus on how I can be of help to the community and to the society in general.
Work Experience
Atty. Lucero, STI College-Ormoc president, is one of my mentors. He is my first teacher in management. He walked me through on how to run a school. I was struggling in people management but he patiently guided me. I learned from him how to write memos professionally that are straight forward. My working relationship with him shaped me to become more people-oriented. He encouraged me to network with prominent figures in our city and even in government agencies.
Internal
Values
My personal values include integrity, cooperativeness, entrepreneurial spirit and being God-Centered.
Strength
One of my strengths is my work experience in the academe. This helped me build an image that is being respected in our city. I am now a people-oriented person and can get easily along with others which resulted to establishing a big network of industry partners, good relationship with the LGU and socio-civic organizations. I am good communicator and a critical thinker.
Weakness
I lack focus and proper planning. My execution needs a lot of improvement. I am an impulsive buyer and I am having difficulty in sticking with the budget.I am also too concerned with what the other people will feel and say. I sometimes hesitant to communicate my real feelings. I am poor in time management.
How it affects the way I decide
I leverage on the image I built over the years. Whenever I am confronted with issues related to my work, I can easily resolve conflict because of the relationship I nurtured and invested upon. Whenever my friends or colleague asked a favor from me, I always revisit my values. I make sure that my integrity is being protected and the decision I make is fair to all. There are situations where my staff falls short of my expectation and I can't get angry because most of the time it is the result of my lack of focus and proper planning. I care about the feelings of others that I always reprimand my erring staff with soft voice and in a diplomatic manner. As result, there are times that they are abusing my kindness.
How do I prepare for future challenges
Family
I am investing on good relationship with my children. I provide them with a nurturing environment. I maintain a good relationship with them so they will see me as their confidante. As I mentioned in my CALL to ARMS speech, I envision them to serve and work in their hometown. I do not limit this to my children. I have my protégées ( our school's student leaders / younger relatives ) whom I guide and mentor. If I will not be successful in influencing my children, I am hopeful that my protégées will be influenced by me. After all, my goal is for the common good of our people.
I will work with my husband and commit to our mutual goals. I will be a supportive wife who can work in the background. We will both be more health-conscious so we grow old together, having enough time to leave a legacy. If I have a happy marriage, life challenges seem easily to handle knowing that you have a partner who can join you face such challenges head on. We will remain closer to GOD and aim to evangelize more couple.
In the community/ Work/Business
I will continue to upgrade and enhance my skills and knowledge. I will network a lot to get ideas on what is new in the industry. I have to make sure to adapt easily to change. I should start working towards reaching my financial goals. In this way, I will be able to rapidly expand our business which can afford to help the community. I will take advantage of the seminars/conventions and opportunities available in the socio-civic organizations to gain more insights and benchmark. I will continue to look for mentors and coaches.
Reflection
1. What is the new learning?
I come to realize that there are situations where best decisions cannot be made because you are caught off guard of your weaknesses. It is unfortunate to happen that many will be adversely affected because of the wrong decision we make that is caused by our weaknesses. Thus, self-awareness is indeed important. We should exert conscious effort in guarding our vulnerabilities.
I learned that self-awareness comes in many forms. It can be from a painful experience in the past or wrong decisions affecting a person. It can also be through people who care for you. Coming from two extremes leading to one end result and that is self-awareness.
2. What is the relation to what I all ready know?
In our lifetime, there are people who are like good Samaritans. They will help you no matter who you are. There are also people in you life who is like devil's advocate. They will critic and question you but at the end day, they will leave a mark in your life teaching you a lesson.
3. What have I done, am doing, will be doing for this topic?
What have I done
Being mentored by our President, it has become my practice to revisit my SWOT and update it when the need arises. I also helped my family members to be aware of their strength and weaknesses so as my colleagues. I have counseled a number of students who were once achievers in class but performance deteriorated due to family problems.
What Am I doing
Unknowingly, I am using this tool in helping our students and even my colleague confront their issues and address them right away. I am acting like a life coach. As for my self, I always guard my weaknesses and capitalize on my strength. I do not dwell anymore in the painful experience of my past but rather focus on what I can do today to face the future challenges in my life.
What I will be doing
I will help others know themselves better by sharing this activity. I can offer unsolicited advice especially to those I know who can excel and do well in life but are trapped of their insecurities, inferiority complex and lack of trust with the people around him/her. As for myself, I will strive to increase the positive influencers to my life so I can be a more effective life coach.
Maricel Reyes-Ngo,MCS
Mobile No.: 0928-5549795
Mobile No.: 0928-5549795
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