Cebu Regis Leadership Genogram by Ivy Eleanor Ko

Dear Professor Jorge

I am submitting my genogram paper

sorry i was not able to submit on time

Thank you and Merry Christmas!

Cebu Regis Leadership Genogram by Ivy Eleanor Ko

I.             Genogram – Dissecting my Family Tree

A.   Grandparents' (Father Side)

The Uy-Yap clan is very small compared to the families during their generation. A lot of their relatives were still in China. Moreover, they were born during the WWII era, thus life was not easy. Ham Chiong and Yap Tin were originally from China, they met and married in Cebu. Ham Chiong ventured into several businesses to support his family while Yap Tin managed the household. Growing up, Papa said that Angkong is the spoiler, while Ama is the disciplinarian. 

My paternal grandfather, (Angkong), Uy Ham Chong is the eldest in a family of 2 children. I was not able to meet my Angkong, but I know he was very hardworking and loving. I can see this with my dad and his siblings. 

(1)     Ham Chong: Ang Kong arrived Cebu at the age of 4 to escape the harsh life in Amoy, China, together with his parents. He was only able to finish highschool education. To be able to support his family, he did all sorts of job from being a salesman, to producing firecrackers and eventually building misua factory. Most of his business does not prosper due to his lack of business acumen, generosity and good naturedness. He died due to complications bought about by diabetes and heart condition.

(2)   Valerio: Valerio is the adopted brother of Ham Chiong. Though he was never able finish college, his interest in radio and parts motivated him to complete schooling thru correspondence certification exams. This enabled him to operate a big radio and electronics store in the city. He married Betty, and has only one child, Derrick.

Papa's mother, Yap Tin, is the second child amongst a family of 5 children. According to my aunt, Ama's siblings are born with health problems that is why they did not live for long. Ama is very artistic, a good cook, and very fashionable. I just learned her parents had a cloth store when they were younger. 

(1) Yap Lam Ko – The eldest brother of Ama died when he was very young. My dad's family has no memory of him.

(2) Yap Tin – My Ama was born in China and arrived Cebu as a teenager. She studied in Xiamen but had to stop schooling so her other siblings can go to school. Thus, she found her way to Cebu to search for a better life. Among her siblings, she is the healthiest, as her cause of death was really just complications due to old age. 

(3) Lucia – Lucia joined Ama and Angkong Lucio in Cebu up until her teenage years and went back to China at the age of 18. We don't have information about her after that.

(4) Leah – Leah died at 5 yrs old.  

(5) Lucio – AngKong Lucio Yap is the only sibling of Ama that I have memory of. He is very close to Ama and often visits her at home. He married Isabel del Mar and they have 4 sons. John, Benito, Joseph and Luis. All four of them are very successful and Joseph got a scholarship at Harvard University and currently owns one of the top conglomerates in the Philippines. Lucio's only vice was smoking, and he died of Lung Cancer.

B.   Grandparents (Mother Side)

Compared to my paternal side, my mother's side (Tan-Chua) has a huge family and they have a lot of relatives whom I have not even met. While my father side is based in China and Cebu, Mom's family is from Manila. Both my maternal grandparents are the eldest child in their respective families.

My maternal great grandfather wanted his children to become doctors, so a lot of them studied in UST. Unfortunately, the interest was not there that is why a lot of them did not finish their college degree. Mom said since childhood, their base has always been in Magdalena, Binondo, Manila until a great fire happen. I was not lucky enough to meet my Guakong since he already passed before I was born due to colon cancer. I have met most of Guakong's siblings though. Basing the appearance of his siblings, I could see that their side of the family has Spanish ancestry, as they have sharp nose, high cheekbones, and light brown colored eyes. 

(1)    Buenaventura Tan - Mama's father (Guakong), is the eldest among a family of six children. He finished a Commerce degree from the Far Eastern University and is an Entrepreneur. He met Susana Chua thru a common friend and have 7 children. He opened a hardware store, Buenaventura Tan Giam and Sons which he aspires to be in operation for generations to come. 

(2) Tomasa finished Midwifery from the Galang Maternity School and is a midwife by profession. She married Sy Choo and has 4 children. 

(3) Purita is a studied at the College of Holy Spirit but did not finish her Commerce degree. She married Marcelo Pua, became a housewife and have 2 children.

(4) Mariano studied medicine at UST but did not finish his degree as well. He became a salesman, married Cora Cruz and has 2 children. 

(5) Domingo also studied medicine at UST but did not finish. He married Flora Teves, and they were blessed with 4 children. He is also into retail of general merchandise. 

(6) Anastacia, the youngest married Manuel Lee, studied in FEU majored in commerce is an Entrepreneur. She has 2 children. We call her 4Kopo, and she is very close to my mom and her siblings since they are close in age. It is uncle Manuel who is the matchmaker of my parents as my dad is an agent who sells car parts to them. 

I don't have much memory on my maternal side grandmother's siblings and I don't remember meeting them except maybe their children. My mom usually tells us stories about them playing with their cousins while they were younger, but I have not heard about them now that they have matured. Mama's mother, Susana, is the eldest child among 7 siblings. 

(1) Susana Chua - Mama's mother (Guama) is the eldest child among 7 siblings. Susana earned her commerce degree at La Consolacion College. She is a housewife by choice and spent most of her latter years in Michigan with his eldest daughter, Conchita. Died due to old age.

(2) Rufina – Rufina also studied commerce at La Consolacion College is married Tan I-Kiu. She decided to be a full time mother to take care of her 7 children. 

(3) Catalina – Catalina was able to apply her college degree in Commerce when she opened her own leather goods business when she married Jose Yap, who she has 5 children with. 

(4) Saturnina – The fourth daughter Saturnina also studied college at La Consolacion College and married Vivencio Tang. She spent most of her married life as a housewife, with 7 children. 

(5) Henry – The eldest son Henry studied at San Beda College and married his college sweetheart Ngo-A Dy and they have 8 children.

(6) Harry – Harry also followed suit and took up Commerce at San Beda College. He met and married Lolita Dy. They have 5 children. 

(7) Benjamin – The youngest brother Benjamin married Leticia Ong and has 5 children. He also studied in San Beda College.

C.   Parent's (Father Side)

My dad is the youngest while my mom is the second to the last child in their respective families. They married when they were in their early 30's which was already considered late in their generation. Papa has a great sense of responsibility and would only marry when he can support a wife and a family. True enough, he did and was able to do it very well. 

Papa is the youngest in a brood of 4 and is the closest to his mother.  Since Papa married late, he spent a lot of his growing years being taken cared by Ama. It is customary in Chinese custom that parents stay with their son even if they get married. Usually though, they stay with the eldest son. However, in our family's case, we were very lucky that Ama got to stay with us.

(1) Cordelio (Hong Toh) – Hong To left Cebu City early to work as a teacher in Bantayan where he met his wife Lourdes. They married at an early age and have 4 children: Jenny, Joyce, Jason and Jerry. Later on, he became a salesman and turned into an entrepreneur. Currently, the family manage a successful Auto Parts dealership in Cebu, and owns various real estate properties for rentals. He passed away due to health complications bought about by Diabetes.

(2) Nicanora (Dena) – Dena graduated with a Commerce degree from FEU Manila, where she was a working student. She married Richard and transferred to Iligan City. They are blessed with 4 sons: Ronald, Romeo, Ruben, and Raymund. All of them have their own respective families as well. They own and operate a general merchandise store and a Supermarket in Iligan City. 

(3) Victoria (Vicky) – Vicky graduated with a Commerce degree from University of San Jose Recolletos and worked in the finance field until she retired. She is married to Renato and they have 3 children Stephen, Theresa, and Christopher. Her children are medical practitioners and have relocated in the different states in the US. 

(4) Edward (Hong Tian) - My father is youngest child in his family. Papa is born and grew up In Cebu. Since he is the youngest, he spent growing up years with his mom, as his other siblings left Cebu to start working at an early age. He finished 3rd year college in San Jose Recolletos. Despite missing the college degree, this did not hinder in being successful in life. Like his brother, he started as a working student salesman assisting his Uncle in the radio parts business, then he ventured into car parts, later on became an entrepreneur. Papa is very sociable and has friends from all walks of life. He also considers some of his friends, his brothers, as they have helped him in his times of greatest distress. 

D.   Parent's Side (Mother)

My Mama, Irene is the 6th amongst a family of seven children. Mama is a Manilenya. She was born and grew up in Manila. Having stayed in Cebu for more than 30 years, she still didn't pick up Cebuano language and speaks only tagalog up to now.

(1) Francisco: Graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering. He is a businessman and runs the family hardware store in Sto Cristo, Binondo, Manila. He married Natividad and he has three sons, Carl, John and Alvin who now have their respective families. And yes, Buenaventura Tan Guiam and Sons Hardware is still operating under Uncle Francisco and Ahia Alvin. Hopefully, it could withstand the test of time and fulfill the aspiration of my Guakong that it could pass on to the next generations.

(2) Conchita: A-e Conchita holds a medicine degree from FEU. After getting married to Max, they migrated to the US and is now a practicing Pediatrician based in Michigan, USA. She has two children Elaine and Edmund who are in the Research and Industry Field.

(3) Victoria: Auntie Vicky graduated with a degree in Commerce UE and was an accountant. Since she does not have a family of her own, she was very active in church. She passed away in 2006 due to aneurysm.

(4) Ruby: Auntie Ruby also graduated with a degree in Commerce at UE and manages their family owned accounting firm and bakery. She is married to George, but unfortunately they are not blessed with kids.

(5) Fernando: Uncle Fernando took up Engineering degree at UST, but did not finish college, married Linda and had a daughter, Jaymee. He migrated to Las Vegas, opened a supermarket and is now retired and travels the world.

(6) Irene: Mama is a Bachelor of Science in Accountancy, Cum Laude graduate from University of the East. One of her biggest frustrations was failing the CPA Board Exam. For the rest of her years, she is a housewife by vocation. 

(7) Mary: Auntie Mary holds 2 professions. She is a dentist, but because she finds it difficult to practice dentistry with her being left handed, she decided to take up Accountancy like most of her siblings. She is also a practicing CPA, and has her own private practice. 

E.   Siblings

We are four in the family. When we were growing up, Mama wanted us to learn household chores. For years, she ensured that the four of us took turns every weekend and holidays to prepare the Sunday meals so we would know how to survive if we were to live on our own. I really appreciated that training to this day.

I am the second child. I graduated from the University of San Carlos with a degree in Accountancy and passed the CPA Board exam on May 2014. 

My Atsi April, is an Industrial Engineer and graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of San Carlos.  As eldest she is the designated "leader" of the group. She speaks her mind, and loves it when her siblings follow her lead all the time. The family dynamics changed when she got married and migrated to Sydney, Australia after getting married in 2006. Her family became her top priority. Their family transferred to Houston Texas in 2013, and she is a happy housewife and a mother to 2 boys, Eriberto III and Grant Malcom. 

My younger sister, Ilene graduated college with a degree in Information Technology at the University of San Carlos, and has worked as a Systems Engineer at a global software firm. She also migrated to Australia in 2010 and is now based in Sydney, as a Business Process Manager at another software company. Ilene is an exercise buff. She swims, jogs and dance ballet. 

The youngest in the family, Iris, graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering from the University of San Carlos. She initially worked for a Global Business Processing company, but eventually left and is now helping my dad in managing the family business. Among the four of us, she got the entrepreneurial and artistic interest of the Uy Clan. She is the sister I am closest to as it is only the two of us that is based in Cebu these days.

REFLECTION

II. What does this mean to Me as an Individual?

Because our parents were the youngest in their respective family, their children is the youngest in the clan. It is also funny that both sides have sets of all boys while we are an all-girls one. Growing up, we've always yearned to have a brother, thus it is during summer breaks when we have our Ahia's and get to bond with them. Since we are the youngest, we always feel special treatment from all of them.

Looking thru the genogram history, most of my family were entrepreneurs, some were in the medical field or housewives. They were contented with what was laid out for them and did not really venture out of their comfort zone. Well, except for those we opted to go out and settle of out of the country. My siblings and I opted to work in big companies and we were not comfortable to really put up a business and be an entrepreneur. 

For myself, I was able to spread my wings and flew in the corporate world and now focusing on family first. In my 12 years of working, I know that I have a passion of teaching and sharing what I know. Going to the academe and teacher undergraduate college school has crossed my mind, but the push is not yet there.  I prefer molding the foundation of younger students, and teach in a more practical approach rather than the bookish approach which I went thru during college.

A. What is my birth position in my family?

I am the second in the family. My Atsi is only a year and a half older than me. Atsi is usually the "leader" of the group, while I am second in command. Growing up, I always depend on her for most things, but as she got married and left for Sydney, I had to step up and lead the group. Today, I no longer heed to her for advice as we now have different views and priorities in life.

B. What values do I hold important in my life? How do these affect major decisions and life directions? 

In my Reflection paper 2, I enumerated Willingness to help people, Integrity, Frugality as the values that affect me before I act. Now looking at the family profile - From my mom's side of family, they were emotionally inept. You could rarely see loving gestures among them. Communication is not easy for them to do. That is why a lot of friction exist in that branch of the family as they don't really listen to each other. My dad's side show love and care more naturally. They were very traditional Chinese in the sense they don't really talk about feelings up front, but their actions speak very loudly about the affection they have for the family. 

Now that I have joined a new (my husband's) family, I can see another perspective of family values they live with. Love and emotions are shown and communicated openly and freely. In this stage of my life, the most important value for me is love and respect for family. As my own family is still at the very starting stage, I want to ensure foundations is laid out very well. In all things that I do, I always see how it would affect my family, my marriage. In every decision that I do, I always think of the long term impact, would my family, husband and children be proud of it in the future? What do I need to do now so I will be able to raise a successful and confident family? I would want to give my time to my children so that I would be around in the formative years of my children so I would be able to raise children of character.

C. What are my struggles? What are my areas of improvement?

My greatest struggle at this stage is time. It has always been between wanting to spend time with my family and wanting to get more work done. When I stopped being in the corporate life, I thought I would have more time for myself and do all the things I have procrastinated. But I was wrong. The thing that I was able to successfully accomplish that I've put off was enrolling MBA which is a huge Checklist in the bucket list, but I still got a long way to go. 

I am the type who ensures everything must be flawless before implementing something (being the type 3), I always tend to put things off. My husband always tell me that I ironically for someone as accomplished as I am, I should be more confident of myself. I want to learn to have a more go-getter and risk averse attitude on things that I am not comfortable of. I want to take advantage of opportunities that are laid at my lap without overanalyzing things. I want to continue to extend my wings and fly while enjoying my work life balance environment. 

D. What are my strengths?

My dad is very approachable and have very good and trusted friends from all walks of life. I could say I got my "people skills" from him. I love to collaborate with friends, colleagues and clients and 

motivate each other to achieve our goals. I am responsible and I work effectively be it just myself or with a group. I should say that I have a knack of analyzing things to make difficult processes easier, which fits my role as a freelance finance consultant. 

III. Current Family

A. In what stage of family development is my family?

I am married for 2.5 years and a mother for 1.5 years, so our family is still very young and at a starting stage. As mentioned in the earlier paragraphs, I want to be a good and responsible wife and mother, and a great home maker. I want to build a successful marriage and have a happy and healthy family.

B. To whom am I closest in the family? What is the nature of our relationship?

I am closest to my husband Kelie. I trust him 100%. He encourages me to be the best that I can be every single day. He didn't changed since the 1st day I met him. He has great sense of humor, responsible and trustworthy. We argue of course, but never a day will pass without us resolving matters.  Kelie is the most loving and selfless individual that I encountered.  He is my best confidant and significant other when it comes to making difficult decisions in life. 

C. To whom am I least close in my family? What is the nature of this relationship?

Now, because of the distance and difference in priorities, I am least close to my eldest sister. The bond we have formed when we were growing up will never broken. We know we have each other's back on times of need.  Though we still talk to each other regularly, we no longer have the same interest in things. 

D. What am I proud about my family and being part of this group of people?

I am proud of how my parents brought the 4 of us sisters up because all of us are successful and independent. They have sacrificed so much so we can enjoy the lives we have today. They have instilled in us the right values which I hope I will be able to duplicate as I start my own family.

I am proud of my husband, he is very hard working and passionate about his work. He is a responsible and respectful son, a loving husband and father, and adoring uncle to all his nephews and nieces. He is also a very artistic and good singer. I am equally proud of our son Klive. At his young age, he is very sociable and easy to manage. He is also showing signs of being very athletic and he seems to get the musical genes of his dad's side of the family. 

E. What is often my role in my family?

In my immediate family, I am the stage wife, supporter, and Finance consultant to Kelie. I am Klive's mother, breastmilk source, driver, cook and fashion stylist.

In the Uy clan, I stand as the events coordinator for the two families. I am also the most outspoken one that I often come out as the "taray" one as I always remind my sisters who are not Cebu based of their responsibilities to our parents. 

In the Ko family, I share the homemaker responsibility with my mother-in-law as we are staying in the same house. 

F. What stressor affects my family now? How difficult are they to handle?

Kelie's and my parents are not getting any younger. I am the remaining eldest sister around, while Kelie is the eldest son. Thank God that both side parents are okay, but we do get medical scares once in a while. We always ensure that all of us are taking care of their health, eat the right food and vitamins and undergo check up regularly. 

Full schedules at work at times could also bring pressure, but these are easily managed thru planning and coordination. 

G. What resources are we using to maintain family equilibrium?

Communication and alignment of priorities help us to ensure things are working out as planned. Time management and Give and Take of wants and needs also help. Keeping the faith and praying together is the most important factor.

IV. Growing Up in my family

A. What was the kind of family environment in which I grew up? 

I would say we are a bit sheltered in a conservative Chinese culture. We were given very good education which I am extremely thankful about. My parents made sure we will grow up street smart and not very bookish. They arranged us to do summer jobs. They taught us the value of frugality and compassion. Mama ensured we know how to do household chores. Ironically, it was papa who taught us the vanities like how to dress up and taking care of our hair and skin.

B. What activities did we do regularly?  How did we celebrate holidays and special occasions? 

We go to church every weekend, and alternately do our turn to cook every Sundays.  During the death and birth anniversaries of our paternal grandparents and great grandparents, we cook and offer it to them. (This is a custom typical to most Chinese families.) We eat out on special occasions. We would often have lunch at my Uncle's house every Christmas Day, and visit relatives every New Year's day. 

C. What do I consider turning points in my family's development?  How did these affect me? 

The first one was when my dad had a heart attack and has to undergo a heart by-pass. We were quite young then, and mama was really afraid for the future. Good thing we got emotional and financial assistance from family and friends. I could remember the family's worried condition back then, but we had to stay really strong to survive this difficulty. Knowing that Diabetes and Heart condition is in our genes, I should have regular checkup and keep a healthy lifestyle.

Second was when my eldest sister got married. She married quite early, and all of us really felt sad when she left the family home to start a new life in Sydney. I had to step up and act as the eldest sister. This really affected me as well as I seem to lost my best friend.  I told myself I don't think I can leave my parents and transfer to a different city as I see them and enjoy staying with them.

Years after, the third sibling decide to move to Sydney as well to live a life away from home. You would see this really broke the heart of my father, as he wants his children close to him. He did not even allowed us to go to Manila for college. But he also understands that his daughters have grown up and wants to spread their own wings. Now its just two daughters left in Cebu. So my youngest sister and I ensure things will be normal to them.  We taught them how to use Skype, Facetime, Viber so that communication with them will be easy. We arranged for trips to Sydney so we can visit them and see how they are.  We asked the sisters to be responsible and call home regularly, and of course, come home frequently. 

Lastly, when I got married, the dynamics changed again. Now my youngest sister is the only child at home. The good thing is, we are based in the same city, and my new home is just a few kilometers away. I ensure they still feel my presence regularly so my sister won't feel stressed out.

D. How did my family cope with the stressors that we all faced?

We need communication so we can clear expectations from each other. With everyone so busy in their respective to do's, we tend to forget the little things that matter in life. Being thoughtful to each other is also appreciated by the family. It doesn't need to be material things, it's a simple call during birthdays, or impromptu family going out for desserts. 

There are things that are beyond our control, and only the Lord himself can do something about it. We talk to him and ask for his guidance in all the things that we do. The family goes to mass every weekend, and as much as I can, our family joins them. 

E. Who was/is the leader in my family?  Who wields power in my family?  How is this used?

Us children usually provides the options, while Papa is the final decision maker. Mama usually just plays the follower role. 

F. What was considered important in my family?  What was I often taught to remember as I was growing up? 

Growing up, we saw how Mama and Papa unselfishly took care of Ama when she became sick and bedridden. Sense of responsibility and care for our parents and elders is very important for us. 

Second, Mama makes sure we never miss a mass on Sundays or Holidays of obligation. 

G. What conflicts or tension points existed in our home and how were they resolved?

When both of my sisters were already in Australia, my dad would always say he pities both of them as they have to work really hard to survive. This would often times irk my youngest sister and I as it was their choice going, not us asking them to go as if they are OFW's that have to go out of the country to feed their family back home. They should not let my parents feel this helplessness as this would somehow affect them emotionally. Often times, there would be arguments at home, us here feeling unappreciated and all their concerns are towards them who are not here with them. These conflicts are resolved immediately with honest and from the heart conversations, we tell them how we feel and why our reactions is that way. 

H. What were the characteristics and habits in my family that saw us through hard times?

Communication, Assistance, Appreciation and Prayers.

V. My Family and I

A. What do I observe in myself that I also see in my parents and other relatives (e.g., career choice, personal characteristics, choice of spouse/relationships, patterns of coping, patterns of relating, 

pathologies, etc.)?

Just like my Ama, I am self-sufficient and a go getter. From my dad, I got his people and networking skills. Mama is very prayerful and religious, I developed my spiritual habits from her. Why I took up accountancy is largely due to my Maternal Aunts, who are successful in their chosen fields. I don't really like the overtime work they do, thus I opted to do Finance rather than pure accounting function. 

Before I even met my husband, my physical attribute criteria is that my future husband should be like my cousins who are tall and a sense of humor and sense of responsibility like my dad. Luckily, I got all those, and much more with my husband. 

B. What patterns, both healthy and unhealthy, do I see in my family? 

Communication and Love for family is what I see strongly evident in with father's siblings. This is my definition of what a family should be. But at the same time, my mama's side seems to have a problem in communication too. They don't listen to each other with their hearts. 

C. What myths do I continue to perpetuate?

None. I do not believe in myths.

D. How has my being part of my family shaped the person that I am today?

I learned responsibility early on, and I learned it from one of the best mentors, my Ama. The series of summer jobs I had when I was younger also gave me very good On the Job learnings which I thank my parents for arranging. Mama's motivation for us to do well at school gave me the discipline to be a reliable person. Papa's push for me to take on difficult works gave me the sense of fulfillment and confidence that I have now today. Being one of the oldest sisters, it also gave me the opportunity to be an "Ate" to my younger sisters, be their confidant and adviser in school, work, and relationships.

Now that I am a wife and a mother, I don't only consider my own interest but that of my two boys as well. 

E. What are the strengths of my family to which I significantly contribute?

I would say the family is very adaptable to changes, we do get affected, but life continues. We, the family members are involved with each other, we do get conflicts, but these are resolved immediately. We respect each other's differences and individualities. Lastly, we are given wings to fly. 

I have always been very vocal about the respect of each other and respect for our parents, as they raised us up to who we are now today. 

VI. As a leader

A. How has my family background and history shaped me as a leader?

My family, especially Mama would always tell me what are the things and habits I need to improve on. My dad would always ask me how I am, what are my concerns and what am I doing with them. This helped me on my self-awareness process. With these feedbacks I know what are the areas I am good at and not. Growing up with four sisters, and being one of the older ones, I know I have to walk the talk and show good example. I know I have to show love, the way we felt love from our parents and Ama. When the four of us are together, we are very resourceful and innovative. Summing all these experiences together molded me to the family leader that I am today. We consider our parent's emotions, likes and dislikes and budget, when making decisions. We look at other options to ensure we can achieve our goals. We give and take. When I am at fault, I say sorry and ensure the same mistake won't happen again. 

Having this discipline made was an easy shift for me when I had my own family. I just applied the same approach to what I was used to and hopefully this will also work with mine.

B. How much of how I have been shaped by my family reflective of my own leadership style and habits, i.e. dealing with people, opportunities, stress, conflicts

My parents almost always tries to walk the talk. They treat employees, friends, relatives, or their elders with great compassion. This is evidenced by the numbers of years of service by their employees and house personnel. Though they may not be very great risk takers, our parents always encourage us to take the opportunities that come our way with great passion. 

VII. Insights

A. What did I realize from this activity?

When I was doing this activity, I remembered a discussion I had with my previous boss on why he sees I am fit for a managerial position even without experience. He said: "If you grow up in a happy, normal, warm family life, your outlook in the outside world is also beautiful. You would be self-motivated and productive as you don't have other things to carry." At first, that was a bit vague, but now I understand where he is coming from. Sadly, not everyone is blessed with to have grown up in a loving environment, thus each has his own characteristic, mindset, and outlook in life. 

I would say Family background and Growing up atmosphere has a very huge impact on a person's outlook in life. 

B. How do I feel about these insights?

It is very important to teach young minds the right values and encourage them to be confident at a young age. It is innate in our Filipino culture to be shy and in school we are thought black and white with right and wrong. There is not much gray area. Development of a child should be more creative, so they will come out confident and not be afraid to be wrong. It is the parents and the family's role to mold the EQ of their children. Because what makes a person is not just skills, but also the attitude. We should teach the right values to our next generation, so they will be self-aware early on, and be confident to become leaders with passion to lead, to serve, and to excel. 

C. How do I want to proceed from these realizations?

I want to become the best wife to my husband. Be more conscious to avoid the things that would dampen his spirit, be more open and communicative, support him 100% in all his desires.

I want to become the best mother to my child/ren, teach them the right values, encourage them to be confident, respect their peers and their elders, so that they become children of character.

I want to become the best role model to my sisters and my family, walk the talk and correct my bad habits and practices. I want to improve my listening skills and communication style with my family so despite the distance, we still understand and connect with each other.

D. What course of action shall I undertake?

I will start to practice the things that I said I want to do. I need to be more self-aware by having reflection moments where I can contemplate and assess where I am in my life goal. Of course, this will still change, as I am still at the starting stage of a new chapter in my life. 

One thing for sure is the things I learned in authentic leadership will be harnessed and cultivated. I will also develop leaders in the family, and the people within my circle of influence. For me, leaders doesn't have to be persons with authority, leading a group, or commanding people what to do, but a leader is one that can do good and be good at it, ultimately inspire others to be better, and become the best that they can be.