FINAL INTEGRATIVE PAPER
Submitted by: MM Leader Maye A. Gutierrez
On our first meeting, I remember Prof. Jorge asking us to make a brief introduction of ourselves to our classmates. I had fun listening and knowing a bit about the other 15 leaders. When it was my turn to speak, I described myself as a happy housewife, a cool mother of 4 and an ex- international flight attendant. My introduction was "short, sweet and organic." I remember Prof Jorge saying how impressed he is about housewives like me, who, in spite of our hectic rosters, still finds time to return to the Academe to pursue our passion for learning. (Thank you, Sir! You don't know how much your words inspired me.)
Like Goes, Ricci and Clavius, I also have a passion for learning, remaining open to new ideas and challenges.
"Leaders persevere not only out of pride, integrity, and commitment to their values. They persevere because they are all at once trusting, optimistic, foolish and humble enough to hope and expect that the seeds of their efforts will blossom in times, ways, and places that they can neither predict nor control." (Heroic Leadership, Chris Lowney)
1. WHERE AM I NOW?
"You can't connect the dots looking forward: you can only connect them looking backwards. So, you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect you in your future."( Steve Jobs)
To know where I am now, it is important that I go back to our learning agreement to check if I had already moved forward.. As I reviewed my leadership agreement, I was reminded of what I wrote 4 months back. "My objective in taking his course is to learn the techniques of an effective leader-- a leader who has strong morals, unaffected by criticisms and stern. I also said that I want to be a leader who contributes to the formation of the society.
My first objective was answered by Chris Lowney in his book, Heroic Leadership.
"The Jesuits eschewed a flashy leadership style to focus instead on engendering four unique values that created leadership substance:"
· Self –awareness, ingenuity, love and heroism
SELF-AWARENESS through the RISO-HUDSON TYPE INDICATOR ENNEAGRAM TEST
The result of ENNEAGRAM TEST did not come to me as a surprise. I knew all along that I am an ACHIEVER ---competitive, highly focused, self-confident, driven, generous and likeable. It is shocking to discover that the traits that I desire to learn, as written in my learning agreement, is actually the same traits that I already possess as a type 3 personality. I also learned that as an Achiever (type3), I have a tendency to repress my emotions. I can develop a fear of true intimacy because I tend to worry about the image that I project, and not exactly of myself. (Again, this was what I wrote in my strengths and weaknesses. I mentioned that there that I have moments where I seem to be quiet and aloof but they don't mean anything at all.) Does it mean to say that I have a fairly good grasp of who I am?
My wing type is 2: the HELPER, CARING, NURTURING TYPE. The need to love and be loved in return occupy a big slice of my pie. Now I understand why I expected praises for my achievements and validation for my efforts before. I have come to realize that once authentic love for another is established, then, the love to serve him comes next. Feeling of alienation, sensitivity and rejection are now things of the past.
SELF-AWARENESS THROUGH GENOGRAM
Another favorite topic of mine is GENOGRAM which made me more aware of my roots. Genogram is not only about my family history. It has given me deeper meaning to the word family and relationships. Last November 10, 2015, we celebrated my parents' golden wedding anniversary. What was beautiful about it was that we personally got to invite our relatives from Iloilo who we hadn't seen for a long time. Who would have thought that our communication would be revitalized just by doing my assignment in Genogram? Hadn't I contacted them to ask for information in the making of our family tree, we could have remained estranged from one another. You can just imagine how happy my parents were after seeing them all again. My genogram project played a big role in renewing our ties with my father's relatives.
After completing the genogram, I made some major learnings. I learned that in making the genogram, I had to make the best effort to give the most accurate and complete information to make it fair for my ancestors. Secondly, genogram made me humble myself as I reached out to family members when I asked them for vital information about our lineage. I had to admit that I needed help because I don't know much. Third, I found out that my cousins are all too eager to help me gather as much information that I needed. They contributed so much details to me. Facebook was a great tool in helping me trace their whereabouts. "If there's a will, there's a way." (INGENUITY)
Fourth, I learned that life isn't only passed down from one generation to the next. Just like the branches of a tree, our lives can intertwine with other branches from another tree. Fifth, it makes me proud to know that my parents aren't only HEROES to me but they are HEROES to others, too. Sixth and most importantly, I learned to love my parents even more. I learned to appreciate what they have sacrificed to raise me well. Admiration isn't only deserved by people who have succeeded in life. Admiration is best deserved by people who have given their lives for the success of others. (LOVE and HEROISM) And last but not the least, the most important lesson that I have learned is that I have the obligation to continue the leadership that my ancestors left behind in a way that will bring them pride and joy.
"If all leadership is self-leadership that springs from personal beliefs and attitudes, then each person must first decide what personal leadership legacy he or she wants to leave behind." (Heroic Leadership, Chris Lowney)
SELF-AWARENESS THROUGH INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL FACTORS
My parents play a major part in my growth until now. From them, I learned the value of kindness, generosity, self-sacrifice, humility and most of all, love. They imbibed in me the love for the less-fortunate. Most of our househelpers have remained loyal to us because we have treated them well.
My brother and sister taught me simplicity and love for learning. When we were still in school we were the favorites of the faculty because all 3 of us were studious, well-mannered and talented.
My education gave me confidence and knowledge and most of all, it helped instill in me a deeper faith through love and sacrifice.
My profession as a flight attendant gave me fulfillment, financial independence, enjoyment, and pride in what I did. My stay in Hongkong made me more mature and self-reliant.
My friends have given me support in times of loneliness and sadness.
My husband has showed me that it is possible to have it all-- love, security and fulfillment of dreams. He has brought out the best in me in many ways.
My children gave me purpose in life. They made me realize that life it is not all about me. They taught me that unconditional love exists.
SELF- AWARENESS THROUGH DEFINING MOMENT
My defining moment is a simple story of how I, as a 7 year old girl found my place in the world. It took a 7 year old classmate to validate the gem that I was. It is a beautiful story of friendship, love and simple sacrifice.
My defining moment has taught me many lessons which will guide me as I go through life. The lessons are very basic but the rewards are enormous. I have learned that no matter how old or young you are, you have the capacity to inspire Greatness in people. Secondly, dream higher and do greater. Third, good will always be rewarded by the Universe. Fourth, no matter how small the favor that you give, it can make a huge difference in somebody else's life. Fifth, your worth is defined by who you are. Therefore, AIM that your "worth" be greater than life. Sixth, always be grateful to God for everything that you are.
"Like the astronomer Christopher Clavius, let our defining "moment" be a pattern slowly etched through a lifetime studded with ordinary opportunities to make subtle differences." (Chris Lowney, Heroic Leadership)
SELF AWARENESS THROUGH JOSEPH CAMPBELL'S MONOMYTH (HERO WITH A THOUSAND FACES)
The 12 stages of the hero's journey monomyth as related to the movie, Gladiator are:
· The Ordinary World
· The call to Adventure
· Refusal of the Call
· Meeting with the Mentor
· Crossing the threshold to the 'special world'
· Tests, allies and enemies
· Approach to the innermost cave
· The ordeal
· Reward
· The road back
· The resurrection
· Return with the elixir
What was my journey?
The journey was my adolescent life was where I was in a crossroad searching for the right friends. My new adventure was high school life in a new school where I had to make major adjustments just to fit in. My wise man was my mother who advised me to choose my friends carefully as peers, she said, can either break or make me.
The call to adventure
Did I accept the call? Yes. There were tests along the way in the form of "bullies" who made my supposedly enjoyable high school life a bit of misery. Good that I had my trusted, well-thought of friends who supported me along the way. Self-reflection and prayers made me decide to do what was right and moral.
What is the ultimate boon in the hero's journey?
The ultimate boon happened after I bestowed genuine forgiveness to the people who became sort of "villains" at that stage of my life. The rewards were peace of mind and genuine friendship. My elixir is my advocacy against bullying. I will always have a keen eye against people who prey on hapless, innocent beings.
WHERE AM I GOING?
WHAT TYPE OF LEADER WOULD I LIKE TO BE?
I would like to be a cool leader in spite of the stress it brings. I want to show grace under pressure. I would like to be a leader who is decisive and who anybody can look up to. Communication will by my key. I would like to be known as the keeper of my beliefs and take on the role of a moral leader as well as teacher or "guide."
My leadership style will be TRANSFORMATIONAL. Here, there will be high levels of involvement and communication from management to meet goals. I will motivate my employees and enhance productivity and efficiency through communication and high visibility. Leaders focus on the big picture within an organization and delegate smaller tasks to the team to accomplish goals. (Harvard Business Review)
I would like to be a champion for a religious cause. I would definitely work to be like Mother Teresa (Blessed Teresa of Calcutta) or the Dalai Lama (Great Buddhist monk). Though they exemplify simplicity and poverty, yet they are rich in followers. They are quiet yet their voices are heard everywhere. Though they don't lift a finger, their strength can still be compared to that of the world's great boxers. They are not kings yet the royalties bow down to them. I want to be like them -- symbols of peace, love, faith, humility and dedication to service.
"Do not wait for leaders: do it alone, person to person." (Mother Teresa)
"The more you are motivated by love, the more fearless and free your action will be. (Dalai Lama)
WHAT IS MY 5 YEAR PLAN?
The challenge to leaders remain; INGENUITY IN A WORLD OF CHANGE
"Leaders eagerly explore new ideas, approaches, and cultures rather than shrink defensively from what lurks around life's next corner. Anchored by nonnegotiable principles and values, they cultivate the indifference that allows them to adapt confidently." (Heroic Leadership, Chris Lowney)
My 5 year plan (as written in my learning agreement includes, but is not limited to):
1. Intellectual aspect- finishing my MBA at the Ateneo. I know it is quite a challenge but every time I see my classmates juggling their time between work, school, friends and family, I can not help but be amazed by the power of perseverance and hard work. The world belongs to people with ambition. Success belongs to leaders who are never satisfied and always pushing themselves to be the best they can be.
"Stay hungry, stay foolish." (Steve Jobs in his speech at the Stanford, 2005)
2. Personal Growth- Continue my quest in discovering my other PASSIONS in life
In my reflection paper # 3, I wrote that flying is my passion. But because it's been 2 years since I parked my wings, I think it's about time to rediscover what my other passions are.
"What pulls you through difficult periods (professionally speaking)? The answer is your PASSION: It is the essential rocket fuel that helps you overcome difficulties and work through dark times. Passion emanates from a belief in a cause or the enjoyment you feel from performing certain tasks. It helps you hang in there so that you can improve your skills, overcome adversity, and find meaning in your work and in your life." (Robert Steven Kaplan in Two Ways to Clarify Your Professional Passions, Harvard Business Review)
Noe. my new interests include:
Planning and organizing parties-
It gives me great delight to ready my home for parties. I enjoy it when my guests' 5 senses are brought to life upon entering my home. I enjoy making loot bags for events. The work is tiring and stressful, yes! But it makes me ecstatic when I contribute to my guests having a wonderful time. Remember when I prepared cheese and fruit and truffles in Prado? It was not something expected of me to do. I was just glad to volunteer my service. And no matter how tired I was, I had a good night's sleep thinking that I made my classmates delight in it (type 3w2 personality). I must say that this is a continuation of my life as a former flight attendant.
b. I enjoy buying gifts for loved-ones and wrapping them in pretty paper trimmings. This is one of the reasons why I love Christmas. In this season of gift-giving, I can buy all the presents that I like (and not be questioned by my husband about spendingJ). I love scouting for nice gifts, attractive gift wrappers and colorful ribbons. I want my gift to be a work of art. I believe that the value of a very simple gift gets doubled when the giver painstakingly package it beautifully.
c. I love to dance. Whenever I attend parties for my supported charities, my dancer friends and I always perform on stage. If I were still a young shy girl that I used to be, I am sure I would have scrupled on the idea but I guess, maturity made me care less about what people think.
d.I love listening to piano recitals and philharmonic orchestras. Just by hearing the first few notes played in the piano is heavenly to me.
e. I love flowers and I would love to learn Japanese Ikebana in Japan. (This answers what I plan to do next).
f. I took culinary courses in Italy, in Thailand, Cambodia, in Hongkong and the Philippines. I get to practice my cooking skills during parties but I found out that the art of food design is even more exciting. I believe that the art of gastronomy starts with the feast of the eyes
3. Moral- To be a true Atenean, a "Man for others" through love, service and compassion.
I have been an active supporter of charity organizations like Philippine Cabin Crew Charities, Incorporated (PCCCI), UNICEF, local outreach programs and national relief and rescue services. I have also sent a handful of scholars to ERDA Tech through Xavier School in San Juan and PCCCI, Hongkong and Manila Chapters. Although others may think that it's already a feat, I still yearn to help more. Now that I am not flying anymore (which I am sorry to say ,quite alienated me to the real world of poverty), I have come to realize that there is still more work to be done. It deeply saddens me to see innocent children begging in the streets and being used by "wolves" and syndicates for their personal selfish gains. As a mother, it pains me to see children being deprived of a bright future. The question which always pops in my mind is, "what if they were my own?" Would I allow it to happen?
"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may wish to live."
"If you can't feed 100 people, then feed just one,"
"Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person." (Mother Teresa)
4.Physical- When I was doing my AVP, I saw how I looked like 10 years and 10 kilos ago. No matter if I go to the gym 3x a week and not eating rice, I still can not go back to my previous ideal weight. I think the solution would be to combine my passion in dancing (in the form of Zumba) in my exercise regimen.
5.Career plans- I mentioned in my learning agreement that I wish to work in the airline again, this time on ground. I wish to be in the managerial position of an international airline and share to them my learnings, experiences and trainings when I used to work for the "Best Airline in the World." I strongly believe that this is not damaging to my previous airline company for I know that by this time, my former employer have already implemented new and better master plans.
6.Financially- I should continue finding ways to invest and let my money grow.
7.Emotionally- " Happy wife, happy life, happy mom, happy home."- Yes, I am!!
8.Spiritual- Be the kind of leader that God wants me to be.
"And Jesus called them to him and said to them, "You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But is shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
(Mark 10:41-45)
HOW DO I GET THERE?
1. "Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work."(Peter F. Drucker)
I am privileged to have been chosen as core committee in the Team Building Activity in Prado last Nov 18, 2015. I witnessed through our meetings how the other organizers worked. Leader Richard was good in thinking of strategoes, their mechanics and how they were to be executed. And his mind was alert even though he had just come back from New York. Some people may ask for a brief respite after a flight, but for Richard, no time was wasted. Cat was the hard working treasurer. I know that no matter how busy she is, she is not the type who refuses responsibilities because she will face it head on. It amazes me how she managed to carry all the items from Divisoria to Quezon City just by taking public transport. Jermits worked alone most of the time but he surprised me with the results. He was the one in- charge overall of the the Audio Visual Presentation. During breaks, he was still working on the program. As for me, what I did was mostly voluntary. My participation began when I personally arranged the accommodation, collected the payments, and did the liaising with PRADO staff even if I was not a member of the organizing team yet. When Cat asked me if I would like to join the committee, I said "Yes" right away because I felt that I had actually been doing a committee's job all along. From then on, I was given tasks like ordering dogtags( in short notice) , preparing the prizes and acted as the advanced party and host in PRADO.
2."Effective leadership is not about making speeches or being liked; leadership is defined by results not attributes. (Peter F. Drucker)
I may impress people by giving good debates, good speeches or good research on assignments, but if I am lacking in result, then I am not an effective leader. I shouldn't impress people with my promises (just like some politicians), but I should prove it through my actions (just like Heneral Luna),
3.I should start by practicing the 7 habits of highly effective people (Stephen Covey)
I will be proactive.-
--I will volunteer my services more. Leadership, like talents can not multiply unless I share it. (Parable of talents Matthew 25:14-30)
I will begin with the end in mind.
--There are 2 things that I need to start with -- beginning with a definite purpose and visualizing that I have already achieved it. Learn to trust myself and the power within me. This is the same technique I learned from the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne.
I will put first things first.
--I should live starting from my values, goals and purpose in life. I should learn how to differentiate what is the most important thing to do from what can wait a little.
--I should live starting from my values, goals and purpose in life. I should learn how to differentiate what is the most important thing to do from what can wait a little.
Think win-win.
--Life is not a matter of win or lose. I should think that anything I do should be beneficial mutually. I may lose a business deal but I may gain friendship.
Seek first to undertand and then to be understood.
--I should learn how to listen to others ideas. If I show respect to them, they will in turn listen to me.
Synergize
--2 heads are better than one. I should value other people's opinion. I should be a team-player.
Sharpen the saw.
--I shouldn't focus on material gains alone. EAT, PRAY AND LOVE. I should remain healthy, have time for spiritual renewal, and value other people.
My next action would be to live a life of passion (which I already talked about ) to make me happy. But I should remember that I should never be self-absorbed and content. There are more things to deal with than just passion.
Third, I should focus on how I can find big problems in the world today. It is only by pinpointing what the problem is that I can find a way to look for its solution. And if and when I find it, let the leader who is born, made and situational emerged from it.
I will start my leadership with my family first. If I lead my family and my children correctly, I will be producing many more leaders in the world.
et quam aptissimi ( as many as possible of the very best)
DEAR PROF JORGE, THIS REFLECTION PAPER MADE ME REALIZE HOW MUCH I LEARNED FROM YOU.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND I'LL KEEP IN TOUCH! LEADER MAYE GUTIERREZ
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