LEADERSHIP
Reflection Paper 2
Written by: Justin Joseph P. Quilon
1. External - What are family, environment school and work experience that shaped you today?
2. Internal - your values, strength, weakness, and how do they affect how you decide to act
3. How do they prepare you for future challenges?
Leadership is a journey. Every day is an opportunity to lead. When I took this subject I thought that I already knew a lot about leadership but as the weeks go by I discovered that I still have a lot to learn. The continuous reflections we do for this subject has helped me become more aware of the lessons that shaped me become a better leader and a better person. Our path towards becoming an authentic leader starts with self-awareness. Right now I am constantly reflecting and asking myself questions such as, am I going towards the right direction? What should I improve on? What should I focus on? In this reflection, I'll be doing my best to understand myself better though the external and internal factors that has shaped me today.
External Factors (Family, Friends, School and Work Experiences)
FAMILY
Early in life, our family got tested when my dad left us. Though the world seemed to crumble for our family, I saw the determination of my Mom to survive and bravely face the world for us. My Mom always reminded me that Education is the only inheritance that she could give us so we better do our best to succeed and learn as much as we can. Back then, I honestly did not get it. While others were spending their time playing, I was studying making the most of what my Mom can give us. My mom did not only teach me about the value of education. She also taught me hardwork, determination, and courage. I put these character traits into practice in my own experience. Whether I am playing games or studying for an exam, or even when I was already working, I hold on to these principles to help me succeed.
My dad has helped me to be strong. Since I am the eldest in our family, I instantly became the next father figure. Though I wasn't mature enough during that time, I remembered making mature decisions and acting more like an adult because of the situation I am in. I forgave my dad multiple times and I thank him because indirectly he thought me a lot of things because I became more independent. I have the hunger to learn, grow up and be able to help my Mom as soon as possible.
My siblings taught me to become more patient. Having two brothers is not easy especially when no one disciplined us. My Mom needs to work most of the time to sustain the needs of the family. I feel that I failed miserably as a brother as I wasn't the ideal eldest child that my Mom was to her siblings. I knew that I have to be patient and slowly be a good model to my brothers. Now I am continuously mentoring them through their finances, career, and relationships. The blessing here is that we are learning from each other.
My family has been an integral part of my leadership journey. They were the first leadership mentors I got during the early stages of my life.
SCHOOL
In high school, there was a time that I became the president of our class. Leading a class in your adolescent stage was a challenge. Handling a class thought me to be more responsible and disciplined. I was doing my best to be a good role model to my classmates and at the same time I am responsible for the activities and concerns within the class. The class was full of different characters; I was very hesitant to be the president because I know it was not easy to manage my classmates. Imagine being in the jungle and having different animals, that was our class room back then a jungle. I still took the challenge, even though I am not the lion king or any other fierce animal in the jungle. My leadership was tested multiple times. There were bullies, frat men, and really big and powerful creatures in our class. Yet having all those obstacles, I was still able to manage the class and gain the respect of my peers. I engaged in sports, empowered other classmates to lead in dance competitions, showed empathy and helped others specially those who are failing in certain subjects. Back then, I was the most dependable person in the class and by showing genuine concern towards my classmates, I was able to lead the animal kingdom.
During my college days, I learned to be more prayerful. The fear of failing and not being able to study motivated me to focus on my goal. Failing in just 1 subject means losing my scholarship and not being able to study anymore. It's great that I decided early on to be with people who were like me, looking forward to pass and get through college. I only have a few core friends and these guys enlightened me by sharing their experiences. We were learning through each other's mistakes. My friends have been my mentors during my college days. Though I did not choose my friends I just stayed longer with those who are on the right track in short, those who are good influences. In an all-boys school like Don Bosco, it is easy to be off track and be influenced to play video games, billiards or attend parties. These activities are not bad however spending too much time doing them would mean that you'll be spending less time studying. My leadership experience during my college days was leading myself to stand tall amidst the challenging subjects and problems both at home and in school. I learned that I need to adapt to change and be more flexible to be able to cope with college and adjust at home.
WORK
If I compared school with the jungle, work is like an ocean it's really huge since the first company I joined was the number telecommunications company at that time. I felt like I was a fish out of the pond and placed into the ocean. I shared my Work Experience in my Hero's Journey reflection. My work experience made me become aware of myself while being through different office cultures. My movement from 1 company to another made me a better person because I was able to get out of my comfort zone and that became a critical point in my career. In every company that I will join in the future, I learned that I need to be adaptive and also learn to identify if I fit the company's culture. Right now, I am blessed to be able to be a part of a group with great culture. If I did not experience the culture of my previous teams and company, I won't be able to know what type of culture I want to be a part of. I am very thankful to my previous team members because they were a part of my development as a person and as a leader. They have moved me and pushed me to become the best person that I could be.
INTERNAL (Values, Strengths, Weakness)
Self-awareness is an ongoing process for me. I am a work in progress. I am a forever student of knowing myself. Learning never stops just like what most of my friends would say. This subject made me reflect deeper and open the doors of my self-awareness through the previous activities such as Defining moments, Enneagram, Genogram, and life story. At this point, I can already say that the value I got from this subject is much more than what I paid for. Just like what Prof. Jorge told us this subject is a personal retreat. Being myself and getting to know myself is the objective. Now my goal is to be more of myself. I became more aware of my strengths through the enneagram. I am an achiever and you can see it through my stories and experiences. I love sharing insights, learnings and lessons. I want to Inspire, Educate, and Motivate as much as I could before I die. The Genogram made me realize that I have family members who are doing the same thing. My Mom is a teacher and one of my uncles is pastor of their church. I dug deeper in our Genogram and I discovered that I have uncles who are also teachers. Some are department heads of schools. This made me realize why deep inside there is a burning desire to teach. I did a short stint as an instructor in Don Bosco and it was one of the best experiences I had. I really enjoyed teaching not just the technical lessons but most importantly the life lessons to my students. I love sharing stories to inspire them and prepare them in their journey when they become professionals.
My super power as what I always call it is my faith in God. All my life this has been my secret weapon. Every time I encounter any difficulty, God is always there to help me and guide me. My faith is my strength. Even if somebody asks me what super power would I choose to have if I am made a super hero, I will still choose my strong faith in God. As a leader I pray a lot, there are times when I have to make critical decisions which not only affects me but also those around me. I always pray and tell myself "God is with me". The simple prayer and the reminder that God is with me helps me in making my decisions.
Now, let's move into my inner weakness. I've been constantly reminded by my wife about this and I am also aware of this. I am an emotionless person most of the time. I made a huge emotional wall, I was not aware of this until I got married and I was reflecting. This became my coping mechanism to the challenges that I experienced though out my life. I am currently training myself to become more sensitive to the feelings of others. If I will describe myself at times I am like the terminator, no feelings when I speak to others. This is my struggle and I am happy when I catch myself being a terminator because as soon as I become aware I do my best to shift. I remembered telling my teammate "Congratulations" when I promoted him. The way I said congratulations was monotone and it was as if I wasn't happy so I have to explain to him that I am really happy for him on his promotion. That's how monotone/emotionless I am at times. The good thing is that I am fully aware of this weakness and I can say that I am improving because I am now more sensitive to my wife and to others who are around me.
My internal values, strengths and weaknesses have an impact in my daily decisions. Focusing on my strengths and embracing them would help me in whatever challenge that I encounter. Being aware of my weakness helps me become a better person and leader. What I learned in this reflection is that everything is connected and has a purpose. It's a part of my being a work in progress. The awareness of my strengths and weakness makes me lead myself better towards the right direction.
How do they (internal and external influencers) prepare you for future challenges?
Knowing my external and internal influencers made understand myself better. This is a huge step towards my journey to Authentic Leadership. I learned that I can make the necessary changes and that change always begins with me. I also learned that my love for my family is my strength it keeps me going. With the experience I had from school, work, and family I learned to cherish my relationships even more. My awareness of my internal strengths and weaknesses helps me become a better version of myself. By identifying these influences, I become more equipped as I face future challenges.
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