MM Leadership GENOGRAM BY LEADER MAYE GUTIERREZ

  GENOGRAM AND REFLECTION OF LEADER MAYE A. GUTIERREZ

I was born Ma. Aurora Ignacio Araneta. I learned that Aurora in Latin means "dawn."  It is also the name of the Roman goddess of sunrise whose tears turned into morning dew.    Aurora is also the name of Disney's Sleeping Beauty Princess who made me feel like one when I was a little girl. But actually, these were not the reasons why I was named Aurora.  I was named Aurora because that was the name of my paternal grandmother.  When I was younger, I didn't quite like my name but my mother said that Aurora, is much better than naming me after my maternal grandmother, Purificacion.

The Araneta's hail from Iloilo.  Some people think that we belong to the famous Araneta clan from Bacolod, Negros Occidental.   My Ilonggo relatives joke that since we were not 'hacienderos" ( Spanish term for landlords), then maybe, we were just their "aliping namamahay" (Spanish term for commoners or serfs).   Being born an Araneta has its perks and we live to its name with pride.

My paternal grandfather is FELICISIMO MITAL ARANETA(+).  He was not an haciendero.  On the contrary, he was a "magsasaka" in a remote barrio in Iloilo.  He had two prized possessions-- the land that he owned and the carabao which he used to toil the soil. He spoke nothing but Ilonggo and he used only his "smile" to communicate his fondness with his Manila-bred grandchildren.

 Lolo Piling was married to my Lola Urak (+).  Her real name was AURORA PEDREGOSA ARANETA and I was named after her.  My Lola was a respected elementary teacher in Iloilo.  I remember my lola was thin and frail and because of her condition, she was always sent to Manila for medical treatments.  What I remember about her was that when I was 8 years old, she gave me P50.00 so I could buy a new school bag. During that time, P50 was such a huge amount for a probinsyana to give.

My fathers' Ate is my Auntie LINDA MITAL ARANETA, a retired teacher in the barrio.  She is married to Uncle DIONISIO PEREZ, JR. a political wannabe.  They have 7 children and since life in the farm was tough, my father helped my cousins with their school needs.  I am proud to say that my cousins from Auntie Linda's side are now all professionals.  Neneng is now a pharmacist, Reynold an Engineer, Jeanne a midwife, Jocelyn a nurse, Dionisio, Jr a marine engineer, Au a dentist, and Jose Lyndion a doctor.

My father's other sister was Auntie Lydia (+). She was a spinster.  All her life was devoted to taking care of my grandparents until their death. Being an old maid, she became the convenient errand girl in the family.  I think she was not happy about it but she had no choice.  She claimed that I was her favorite niece.  It was known that when her niece/nephew gets married, she would sell a carabao and the proceeds would be her gift to the newlyweds. My Auntie Lyd was a chain smoker and died of lung cancer.

The youngest is Auntie Laura Araneta Millares, a pharmacist. She has polio (infantile paralysis which causes one leg to be shorter than the other one).  She is fondly called Auntie Doll, a name to compensate for her physical disability. In spite of her handicap, her husband loves her dearly.  Each time I see her and Uncle Marcelino, I am dumbfounded with the love they share for each other.  I witnessed how Uncle Mars would proudly call her Darling and delightfully assist her in her everyday errands.  They are gifted with 6 children: Catherine (a pharmacist), Anthony and Marcelino Jr. (both in the US Navy), Marlon (computer science graduate), Mary Jane and Anna Maria (both registered nurses).  Once again, my father helped send my cousins to school.

Finally, the only boy in the Araneta family is my father, ENGINEER VICENTE MITAL ARANETA.  He was a Valedictorian in school. And since his potentials were promising, he was the only one sent to Manila to study. He was a civil engineering student at the Mapua when he met my mother while they were both working as clerks at the Camp Crame, Cubao. Since life was difficult for a student and an expectant father, my mother's family helped my father in his University needs.  I was 5 years old when Papa got his diploma and eventually passed his Civil Engineering licensure exams.  After that, life turned a 180 degree turn for us.  Life became more progressive since big construction projects were offered left and right.  During the 70's, money was a-plenty and because he was not used to having it, he splurged thinking supply would never run out.

My NEW LEARNINGS about my FATHER's FAMILY

Sad to say, lack of communication and interaction must be the rationale why we didn't become close to our grandparents. We didn't frequent Iloilo because as kids, we didn't like to ride boats (the only means of transport to Iloilo we could afford).  It was mainly because calm or violent seas made us seasick.    Secondly, there was no electricity in our barrio.  Nighttime was associated with deep ennui, homesickness, horror stories and mosquito bites. 

Thinking back, my father's family were actually of modest income whose earnings came from the harvest of their labor in the field. But in spite of experiencing difficulty in meeting ends meet, they were GENEROUS.  Just like my sickly Lola Urak, who chose to give me the P50 instead of using the money for her own medication.  During the 70's, P50 had an enormous value. Up until now, I still have doubts if I had ever said "thank you" to her for her kindness.  And in case I did not, then it moves me with deep regret.

I also wished I had returned the UNSELFISH smiles given to me by my Lolo Piling.  I was too young then to realize that it was the only way he knew to show his affection to me.

I had 13 cousins in the Araneta side whose education my father helped support.  He also had scholars from his old alma mater whose high school diploma he helped secure. Aside from our family's inherent KINDNESS, it also shows how my father supported the schooling of the impoverished. My father was a HERO to many in our barrio.

I also learned that anybody can have a taste of true love.  Just like my Auntie Doll, her physical incapacity didn't deter her from finding the man who would truly care for her.  It entered my mind on how many young girls and boys would discredit themselves and claim that nobody could ever love them.  Love is such a precious gift and I am happy my Auntie found it.

My story about the Araneta's doesn't end here.  On my Lola Urak's deathbed, she gifted a big chunk of land to my parents.  They call that place, Pulang Lupa. My father, who was already a self-made man at that time turned over the title to my Auntie Lydia as his way of saying "thank you" for her dedication to the service of my grandparents. And guess what my Auntie Lydia did?  Instead of owning the land, she donated it instead to the Philippine Government.  And now, what used to be the land that my ancestors toiled, stood a big elementary school named after my ex-teacher grandmother----the AURORA ARANETA ELEMENTARY SCHOOL---the best namesake I could ever have and the primary reason why I love my name ever more.

My mother is Isabelita Ignacio and is fondly called Mommy Litz by everyone. She is a "tubong Manilena".  Her father, my LOLO ELINO IGNACIO (+) died of illness before she became 1 year old.  Her mother is Purificacion Bautista. My grandmother was famous for her beauty. Even when she was 70 years old, people still admired her for her beautiful face.   I remember the accounts of my Lola Purificacion (+) about their harrowing life during the Japanese occupation. She was a widow and to support my mother, she worked as a seamstress during the war. A few years after the death of my Lolo Lino, she met my second grandfather—Lolo FRANCISCO VILLARRUZ, Sr (+), a US Navy.

My mother had 2 half-siblings from the new marriage. But instead of having a husband and a father in the house, my second Lolo had to leave her to work in the ship. As fate had it, my Lola Puring's life was made more difficult as she had 3 children to raise all by herself while Lolo was away in the seas for months.  Because of this, my mama had to give up her own schooling so somebody would take care of her siblings while Lola was busy working. My mama had to sacrifice her own future while Tita Cynthia, her half-sister finished pre-Med in UST and Tito Frankie, Jr., her half-brother finished engineering in the same school.    Til now, I never heard my mom complain or get envious on what she had to give up for them.

My mother met my Papa, they got married and eventually, had me.  At the same time, my Lolo Frank decided it was time to petition my Lola, Tita Cyn and Tito Frank to live with him in the States.  My mother could not join them as she was already married.  Now, that I am an adult, I can relate on how  my mom could have felt as she grew up without a father, lost a chance for education, then eventually be left by the whole family for an opportunity of a greener Pasteur in the West. 

My Tita Cynthia worked in the States where she met her husband, Tito Dan Almares.  He is a retired US Air Force personnel.  They have 2 children, Marielle who is a nurse and Vince who is an officer for the US Boarder Security Officer. They live a prosperous life in the US and everytime we pay them a visit, they graciously offer their home to us.  We use that chance to reconnect our ties with them.  My Mama and Tita Cyn have a good relationship inspite of the distance and the time that they grew apart.

My Tito Frank, Jr. on the other hand, is married to Tita Lita Zapanta and have 3 grown-up children. Like my Tita Cyn, he and his family have been living in California for over 40 years.  His children are Irene who is a corporate officer, Joanne an officer at the Bank of America and Jenny, a registered nurse.  My cousins are all married to US citizens and have kids of their own.  When I gave birth to my 4 children in the States, I made sure that I got each one of my "imported cousins" as godparents.  Maybe, just with this, we can redeem our almost neglected family ties.

                                               REFLECTION about MY MOTHER'S FAMILY:

My father shared his blessings to his nieces and nephews because of his LOVE for them.  On the other hand, my mother gave up her chance of a bright future for the success of her siblings.  And her sacrifice is what I call HEROISM.  At times, there are occasions when I think how my mother feels in comparison with her siblings.  Was she ever envious of what my Tita and Tito accomplished for themselves?  Was she ever jealous that they have a prosperous life in the States? Did she ever regret giving up her education for her sister and brother?  Honestly, I don't think so.  If there's one thing that she missed, maybe, it's the chance of growing up with a mother and a father around her.

I think that this must be the reason why she is protective of me until now.  My mother is known for spoiling me and my siblings.  When we were younger, she would go to my school and bring me hot lunch.  All the food in the dining table is always home-cooked by Mama.  When my sister and I were still single, my father used to say that we should be like my Mama in the kitchen.  That is true.  No matter if I studied culinary arts in different parts of the world, my cooking still cannot compare to the tasty "batchoy" (Ilonggo beef soup) that only my Mama can cook. And it is because she cooks with "amore'.

I can say that Mama's AWARENESS of what she lacked became a powerful tool in raising up good children like us.  Even though that ours is a love-hate relationship, I adore my Mama to the moon and back.  I always make sure that we visit them every weekend.  I want my children to be close to them and experience how beautiful life is when you share it with your lolos and lolas.

                                   NEW LEARNINGS AFTER DOING THE GENOGRAM

I have learned that in making the genogram, I had to make the best effort to give the most accurate information. It would be unfair for each member of my family if I was lacking or if I give false information.  My ancestors lived a life to benefit the younger generation so it is just right that I pay tribute to their life and work no matter how trivial it may seem.

Secondly, with this, I was able to reach out to my family to ask them for vital information.  I learned to HUMBLE myself and admit that I don't know much.  And after I gathered the information, I was gifted with the  AWARENESS of the HEROISM of my relatives. 

Third, I found out that my cousins are all too eager to help me gather as much information that I needed.  They wanted to contribute a great deal because they also wanted to discover their genogram.  Facebook was a great tool in helping me trace their whereabouts.  It just goes to show that if you want anything, you can always find a way.  "If there's a will, there's a way and this is called INGENUITY.

Fourth, upon thorough assessment of a family tree, I noticed that the diagrams looked different from each other.  One looks simple while the second one looks complicated. The chart of the Araneta family is different from the chart of the Ignacio family.  I learned that life isn't only passed down from one generation to the next.  Just like the branches of a tree, our lives can intertwine with other branches from another tree.

Fifth, it makes me happy to know that the relatives who my father used to assist financially are doing well now. My father would be too happy to know that his effort has bore fruits…

Sixth, I learned to love my parents even more. And just the mere thoughts of them, make me want to visit them more often.

And last but not the least, the most important lesson that I learned is that the genogram doesn't end with me.  I have the obligation to continue the leadership that my ancestors left behind.  Just like my Lola, my Papa and Mama and my Auntie Lydia, I have the responsibility to pay forward the blessings that I receive.  As of this writing, I can't wait to go and visit my best namesake because I am the only one who is in the best position to continue its legacy---the AURORA ARANETA Elementary School…..

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