Genogram of Leader Zel Catungal

My Genogram
Leader Marizel Mallari-Catungal


I was born 4th among 6 siblings of my parents, technically now, among 7 siblings. When I was 7 years old, Rizaline, my half-sister, who was born 2 weeks after me, daughter of my father, came to live with us. She was raised by her grandmother who was very poor. They lived in the barrio near the barrio of my father, so it was easy for her to find my father that time. She wanted to finish college so she looked for my father. There was never an issue regarding this between us siblings. We welcome her as if she was part of the family before. My mother was very kind to her and she treated and loved her the way she treated us. This is just one of the virtues of my mother that kept our family intact. She was religious, loving, generous, and very patient.





Our family on both sides are either farmers,merchants or OFWs. There are actually very few who are professionals and who reached college. Let me start with the family of my father.


Mateo Mallari- my grandfather. He was a farmer. I was able to see him until I was about 15 yrs old. According to my father, Lolo Teo was very hard working but very strict. He seemed to lack affection to his children. My father always narrates his experience with him working early morning in the farm. My father would tell stories of how Lolo Teo would discipline them by harsh words and sometimes hitting them especially if they would come late for work. Life during their time was difficult and a simple food with fish and rice were a luxury. I would remember him being our earliest visitor during our town fiesta. He would come as early as 8 am usually alone and never missed a fiesta. When he was really old, I remember my mother took care of him until he died. He was a man with few words. Physically, he was mestizo, handsome, tall and "matikas".

Victoria Basilio Mallari- my grandmother. She was very sweet, loving, hard working and very simple Lola. I don't remember a story regarding her education. She was dark skinned morena, unlike my Lolo who was mestizo.

CHILDREN:

Herminia- eldest, now lives in the US, 85 y/o colon cancer survivor. She has 3 children all in the US. Her daughter who migrated as a nurse in US petitioned her. My father described her as very strict, very clean in the house and my father used to work as her "helper" in her house so that my father could go to school. Not a college graduate , she lost her husband very early and they used to call her "Byuda". She owned a store in the public market which sustained her family.

Marcial- deceased, died from stroke, complication of hypertension. He was a farmer with 6 children, mostly stayed in the barrio, His sons also became farmers and later on worked in Middle East as OFW. Did not go to college.

Santiago- deceased, found dead, probably heart attack. Farmer. Very jolly, close to us. He always visits us and very fun to be with. Happy-go-lucky guy. He looked like "Chuck Norris". One of my favorite uncle. He lived a lonely life though since he separated from his family and lived in his farm in a small nipa hut alone.

Aida- deceased, died of massive stroke about a year after she went home to retire from US; housewife, married an engineer. They migrated in the US. She has 6 children, the eldest has schizophrenia was not able to migrate to US because of his age.

Bienvenido- was able to reach college but did not finish. He married a businesswoman selling RTW and had only worked few years abroad as OFW but went home. Basically, he was dependent on his wife who had a very successful business. They had only one daughter who was really spoiled during her younger years. He was generous especially giving aguinaldo during Christmas. He is a womanizer and had children with other women. His wife died of breast cancer. Their business collapsed with the entry of SM malls in Pampanga. He has difficult relationship with his daughter since most of their properties were sold. He recently suffered stroke, but slowly recovered. He is being taken cared of by one of his girlfriends.

Benjamin- worked as a farmer but stopped when his wife worked in Paris as domestic helper. He has 5 children, one graduated as nurse but went to Paris also to work as DH. Another daughter and son also went to Paris to work with their mother. He lives with his daughter and son in the barrio. He is dependent financially on his wife.

Vicente- my father. Born June 8, 1943. High school graduate. Worked abroad all his life after he got married. He worked as a plumber in Saudi and rose to ranks because of experience. Very hard working, strict, time conscious, health conscious. My father is handsome and well dressed. He is a known womanizer and whenever he goes home from abroad, he spends time in bars in Manila having good time. He reasoned his year long hard work as the reason he has to have "good time" while he is home. He is however a good provider and sent us all to college because it is his dream that all of us will be educated. He doesn't want us to experience hard times like he did being uneducated.

Candido- able to go to College, did not work in the farm. Worked in Saudi and went home and did business selling plastics, beans. He is a jack of all trade. He also has lending business. His wife, who was a dentist, died of heart attack leaving him with 4 children. He is very prudent on money. He is also a known womanizer and also has children with other women.

Pacita- graduated as nurse but was not able to pass the board exam. Went to US as tourist and later married an American. She lives in the US alone since she left her elderly husband. She did not have children.

MOTHER SIDE

Juancho Gagui- my grandfather mother side. He died when I was 7 years old. He came from rich family, spoiled, did not work for the family. Alcoholic. He also had several children from other women.

Guadalupe Tapnio Gagui- my grandmother, she died about 10 years ago, she was 90. She lived in the US for more than 20 years with his son and became nanny to my uncle's children. She went home 2 years before she died so that she will be taken care better here rather than sent to hospice. She did not have college degree but she worked hard for her family selling various merchandise since my Lolo did not work. My mother helped her with her business tending their small store. There was a time they migrated to Davao to sell goods.

CHILDREN:

Gerardo- deceased, died of heart attack, merchant; married a tindera also. They have 5 children but few of them finished college. Most children also went selling goods in the market.

Roland- deceased; merchant, his wife had a successful glassware business. They have 5 children, all became rich and successful. Two of his children became rich from recruitment agency.

Conrad- graduated from college, was able to migrate to US early and petitioned my Lola and 2 other siblings. Very successful with 3 successful children in the US. He is now enjoying retirement years with his beautiful wife in the US.

Alfredo- presently in Australia, was petitioned by his daughter. He also had a store in front of our school when I was a kid. Most of his children reached college and all of them are living in Australia.

Herminia- 80 yrs old diabetic with 12 children but 4 of his sons died due to accident, murder and drugs. She worked as a merchant also in the market and retired only recently because of her sickness. Her daughters are doing well with various businesses.

Virginia- my mother, born March 27,1945. Married at 18 years old according to her she was tricked by my father who publicly kissed her, since that time, being kissed publicly was already a scandal, my father asked her in marriage in front of her parents. She is a high school undergraduate and she resented this. She really liked to finish college since she was doing well academically but her parents did not prioritize her because she was a girl, they prioritize her elder brother Conrad. She helped in her mother's business and took care of younger siblings. She helped my father augment family's income by selling different merchandise. She had a store inside the public market, she would sell bridal goods, native products, glasswares, Avon products, etc. She was very hard working and patient and very prudent and wise when it comes to budgeting finances.

Mario- worked as OFW but retired many years ago, separated from his wife who cheated on him. He is now with his children looking after his grandchildren.

Zenaida- housewife, did not finish college, married a carpenter, with 4 children who did not also finish college. One of his son works as a driver while one of my cousin who is a single mother works for me as the nanny of my youngest son.

Elizabeth- based in US petitioned by uncle Conrad. Finished college, has 3 children all successful in US. Tita Beth is the most generous of all my Titas, she continued to support her siblings and other relatives in the Philippines and goes home every year. When I was starting in my practice with nothing to buy a second hand car, she lent me money.

Eduardo- youngest also based in US, finished college with 3 children.

MY SIBLINGS:

Danilo - 52 yrs old, college under graduate, with 2 sons. Lives in France with wife and 11 y/o son. His eldest done, Danver, was sent home to be raised by my mother when he was 5 months old. Danver is now an Ateneo Legal Management graduate and recently hired by SM for Mall management. Danver is practically like my first son, lives with us and was one of the reason also why I entered Ateneo. I saw how Ateneo molded him and I am really proud of how has become. I always say, "Mana kay Tita". My brother had a hard past, he was a drug addict, had been sent to rehab, was associated with bad peers. He became sober when he was sent to Paris to find a job and he met his wife who was like an angel to us since she helped my brother find a new life in Europe.

Gemma Mallari-Damaso- 50 years old, housewife, survivor of a twin, her twin died at birth, She finished college even though she had difficulty academically, but because of her patience, persistence and hard work, she got a college diploma. She married an OFW working in Saudi and she has only one daughter, about to enter college at De La Salle University this coming school year. My sister acts also as second mother of my kids since she lives close to me.

Randy- 48 years old, electronics and communications engineer graduate at SLU but did not practice profession. He worked several years in Middle East but was not able to get a stable job. He was also hooked on drugs and has difficulty getting out from it. Luckily, his girlfriend from Cebu who he met in Kuwait, was able to change him, at present they are living together with their 8 mos old daughter. He has no stable job. I support him financially at present. He has difficult relationship issues with my father.

Marizel- 4th; no 9 board top notcher MedTech board exam, physician, part time housewife; full time mother of 4 kids, ages: 18, 14, 11 and 2 y/o, educator, trainor, now student again.

Rizaline- my half sister, came to live with us when we were 7 yrs old, I was older by 2 weeks.She was raised by her grandmother. Life was difficult for her, so when she wanted to continue schooling, she searched for my father. My mother lovingly accepted her and treated her as her own daughter. She graduated from college ,BS Commerce.She married early right after college. They are presently in Abu Dhabi, her husband works in an airline company and one of her daughter works in a travel agency.

Annalyn- graduated BS Pharmacy at SLU Baguio and also landed 11th place in the Pharmacy Board Exam. She married an engineer and migrated and resides now in Singapore. She has 3 sons.

Minneth, 39, y/o, single,graduated BS Commerce, worked as OFW in Taiwan but about 10 years ago I asked her to go home since I worry about her status. I supported her to take up Medical Transcriptionist and now works as MT.

Looking at my genogram and recalling our previous topic on are leaders born?made? or situational? Obviously, I came from very simple family lineage, from family of farmers, merchants, product of an OFW. But growing up, even at 5 years old, I stand out from my classmates, voted as class president, group leader, star scout leader, even cheer leader. The word leader has been synonymous with me. Probably, I have little of the genes, life lessons molded me, situations prepared me.

Thank you Prof Jorge for this wonderful journey, parang MMK- "Malalala mo Kaya" ng buhay ko.

Looking forward for more. (Hahaha.   Iyan igawa ng AV presentation.   Am not Charo though)  Thanks Dr. Leader Wonderwoman.

Leader Zel Catungal

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