My Genogram
Leader Charmie D. Arribe, MD
AGSB ID#-R140047
This exercise brought a lot of memories and different kinds of feelings I never knew I still had toward my relatives. It gives me a better perspective to where I am and where I would like to head. My father keeps on reminding us that "Our children should be a betterment of their parents, they should achieve one goal further than what we (parents) achieved." Is seemed ambitious but it makes a lot of sense to making our children's future a brighter one. It can be taken to simple things like parents can expose their children to travelling to other places in young age especially when the parents themselves started travelling after college, that is already a betterment of their children. I am proud to share my Genogram to you.
MY MOTHER'S SIDE:
It didn't really take me much effort in recalling my relatives on my mother's side of the family because we grew up close to all of them. I can vividly recall every holidays I spent in my childhood in the happy abode of my grandparents at Pulungbulu, Angeles City which we called "P.U." (my parents had to invent the moniker for the place to make sure we will not automatically whine to go with them every time they mention the place because to us when we here it we know that fun is there. Until when we were teenagers that we were able to decipher what it meant thus we have called it as "P.U" eversince)
GRANDFATHER: RODOLFO GANZON PAMINTUAN (Born: June 3, 1928; Died: August 20, 2012)
My grandfather whom we fondly call "Tatang" is the 6th of 8 children of Francisco Mesina Pamintuan Adela Aquino Ganzon. He never finished high school so he learned his way through work. I recall him to be a plumber and he was able to put up a family business call RGPamintuan Enterprsises which grew to become their main source of income. My grandfather was a "man of few words" he had a lot of friends so I had a lot of "grandfathers." He likes entertaining guests at home with my grandmother. He raised his family through his hardwork and humble beginnings. He is the type who is non-confrontational if there are conflicts in the family, he will give in to keep the peace. He likes his quiet time he spends in his "shop" tinkering anything. He likes analysing how things work. I think I got this trait of details from him. I am the second grandchild on this side of the family and every time my visit ends, Tatang would call me "Chami" and hand me some money for my baon which I look forward every visit. He loves chocolates especially Hershey's Kisses. When I was in 3rd year college he had a brain attack which I witnessed and I had to do CPR on him and he was brought to the ICU. Tatang defined my "finest hour" in my medical career because he was one of the reasons why I pursued my studies. After his stroke he suffered hemiplegia and expressive aphasia, he can no longer move his right side of the body and can only understand what is said but can never respond verbally. He was in this condition for 12 years, we took care of him until that night he passed away, one of the saddest nights of my life.
GRANDMOTHER: LUCILA LAXAMANA DE GUZMAN (Born: July 6, 1927; Died: September 26, 2006)
My grandmother whom we call "Mama" belongs to a brood of 7 siblings, she is the daughter of Gonzalo De Guzman and Florentina Laxamana. She finished her elementary school years. What I can recall was that she ran a small sari-sari store near their house to help augment the income of my grandfather and raise their 6 children. Mama was my favorite cook! I can still recall the taste of her torta, sabaw sa kamatis, kare-kare. She was a member of the Catholic Women's League (CWL) and an active Lector in the Holy Rosary Parish. She introduced me to catechism and most of the Catholic rituals I learned through her. She was a "woman of faith," whenever I had petitions in my heart I immediately ask Mama to help me pray for it so I get a "faster" answer. On her spare time, she liked playing mah-jong with her friends and sometimes her children that why we have that weekly lunches and dinners with them at the "old house," we called it "session-time." The happiest Christmas Holidays I spent at our P.U.-home I grew closest with my cousins on this side of the family because Mama made sure we spend all weekends and holidays together. And before every occasion or eating at that she would always lead us to pray before anything else. My strong religious beliefs I got from my Mama.
UNCLES and AUNTS:
1. ROBERTO PAMINTUAN (BORN: Nov. 5, 1949; Died Nov.15, 2012)
My Uncle Obet is the eldest amongst the Pamintuan siblings. He graduated with a degree in accounting at the Holy Angel University and worked as a "detailman" in Unilab since I can recall. What I remember fondly of him is that we would have lots of sample medicines and vitamins at our P.U. home then. He supplied us with milk when we were young. He was the most influential Uncle in my life because he advised me on how to become a good doctor as he had to deal with doctors almost everyday. He said that I keep my word and honor all the time byu coming on time. When I was training at St. Luke's Quezon City, I always ride with him going there and I would remember that he picks me up 4am every Mondays and we get to Manila 6:30am, too early for my 8am duty but he always tells me that "if you are early, you can relax and measure up what is expected of you rather than late and be dishevelled and nervous on running late." He was one of the happiest when I took up Pediatrics as my subspecialty course because then he was the Head of Pediatrica a division of Unilab whose products are focused for children. When I was starting my clinic here in Angeles City, he checked on my clinic times and said "If you say your clinic starts at 8am-12nn, make sure you are there at 8am and never be late so your patients will know you mean business." Since then, I posted that all my clinic times start at 10am onward just to be sure I am ahead of my patients as being "late" was never an option to my uncle. His passing was as painful as Tatang's because on the day he had his heart attack I was on-clinic-duty at Sacred Heart and they had to rush him at the ER where I was with the attending MD and again I saw him pass away right before me. I was the bearer of sad news to my family and all his friends when my Uncle Obet left us. He is one of the reason why my practice is so disciplined especially in terms of keeping time.
2. CAMILA PAMINTUAN-DUNGCA my mother
3. TERESA PAMINTUAN-BERNARDO (Born: August 2, 1951)
Auntie Ressie is the 3rd of the siblings. She worked as a grade-school teacher at the Holy Angel University until she transferred to Angeles City Elementary School. She has now retired from teaching and is enjoying her life as a grandmother of 3. My Uncle Regino (her husband) passed away May 2012, and so she now lives with her youngest son. She loves singing and dancing like my mom. I don't think I was able to get that graceful "gene" in our family though.
4. REYNALDO PAMINTUAN (Born: April 15, 1954)
My Uncle Rey married late in his 30's so he had been our cool uncle since I can recall. He brought us to different places in Angeles City in his youth, we (my cousins) were his "pets." He taught us how to swim, play bowling, tennis, billiards and all the fun-stuff. He barely finished college if I remember right because my grandparents cannot afford then. So he helped Tatang on his plumbing business, where he became the Manager of the business when Tatang became ill. Since my Uncle Obet was mostly away because of work, my Uncle Rey had to do all the family errands for my grandparents and aunts. He still is our go-to guy and I would always run to him for help. He is very generous with his time and talents. He is very kind-hearted. Like Tatang, he is the kind who would avoid conflict but will not let abuse be done upon him nor his family. He is a hardworking, family-oriented man. He is a SPEM-member and prays with his wife, Sai, with groups in cenacles weekly. He got this trait from Mama. Currently stricken with Diabetes, I am advising him to watch his diet, exercise and make sure his blood sugar is maintained at a certain level. I am praying with him, that he will be able to control his disease.
5. CRESENCIA PAMINTUAN-TINIO (Born: May 5, 1956)
Auntie Gina as we call her is the family cook. She married at an early age of 17 to Mr. Antonio Dizon Tinio, so she never got to finish her schooling. Auntie Gina and my mom are close and most of the life events of these sisters are a match-made-in-heaven. Examples are the years their children were born were almost identical (both their eldest were born 1976, 2nd child 1979, 3rd child 1981 except on their youngest, auntie Gina's son 1982 while our youngest was born 1983) 1st granddaughters were born with the SAME birthday November 11, 2003. My Uncle and Aunt love to travel all over the world. Sometimes they are travel buddies with my parents. They are the adventurous type. My Uncle and Aunt and my parents almost do all their leisure-time together whether be it dancing, singing, and praying in a group.
6. AILENE PAMINTUAN-ALIPIO (Born: Mar 16, 1965)
The youngest of the Pamintuan brood, Auntie Ailene works as a Registered Nurse in the USA. She is married to Jacob Alipio and has a daughter Camille (our youngest in the 17 cousins of this clan). My auntie was the "baby" of the family. She was given all the good opportunities that her siblings missed but all of them love her because she worked hard to help them back. She was kind-hearted and remembered to help her siblings in need as she became successful in her practice in California. She is also stricken with Diabetes and is on an insulin-pump to make sure her blood sugar level is maintained. Despite her distance, she is always in-touch with us. She keeps on showing how she loves her family here and plans of retiring here one day. She is driven, strong-willed and ambitious. I believe she inspires me to be one as well.
MY FATHER'S SIDE
My father's growing up years as he would narrate were more of struggles for him. He was born in a family of 5 siblings, but was cared for by his Aunts as he said he was "adopted" by his Father's sister. This is the reason why I have such a vague memory of my Dad's side of the family. His father died before my dad was even married and his mother died when I was barely 3 years old. The adoptive parents of my dad are the grandparents I grew up with so before I was in an age where I can comprehend their family dynamics I always thought that my Aunts and Uncles were his real siblings so the story goes.
GRANDFATHER: VIVENCIO DUNGCA (Born 1910's Died 1960's)
My dad said that he was a "balut" dealer and vendor which was a very rewarding work at that time because people who were affluent then had businesses in the marketplace and my grandfather was one of them. He was very revered by his siblings and my dad everytime they recall his days. They said he was compassionate to his relatives and generous.
GRANDMOTHER: ISABEL PINEDA (Born 1920's Died: November 1980)
I recall my Apu Sabel when she was already bedridden as she stayed with us in her dying days. My mom cleaned and fed her as her body was already frail and weak. My grandmother owned stalls in the market of San Nicolas Angeles City. She was selling fruits and vegetables and business was very good then as my dad recalled. Until one tragic day, the market burned down, the once nice stalls my grandmother owned apparently was not given back to her and she had to transfer to another not-so-strategic stall location. I recall them to be a family of vendors and knew the hardships of waking up at 4am and going home at 5pm just to begin another day of toil. My father loved my grandmother but his Auntie Julie has a special place in my dad's heart as she was the one who mostly brought him up to be moral and ambitious in his childhood days.
GRANDMOTHER: JULIETA DUNGCA TORNO (Born: February 1910; Died: January 1990)
Apung Juli as I remember her was my dad's second mom despite my grandma's being alive Apung Juli took care of my father. Apu had 8 children and didn't mind taking in another one then to care for and discipline at the same time. She was a strict matriarch. She made sure all children were awake before sunrise and were at home before sunset. She made sure all children finished the chores assigned to them and schoolwork were attended to. She reminded the children that "Education is the best gift they could have" so she inspired them to pursue and finish their degrees. Apung Juli was widowed by my Lolo Eugenio and was left to tend their jewellery and beauty shop which was in good business then and it was a business that Apu left to her children then. She was a disciplinarian, ambitious, religious and confrontational woman. I recall her to be very straight forward and feisty because she says what is needed to be heard no matter what. She speaks her mind and even gives unsolicited opinions. What my dad always remembered was that she made sure that the struggling sibling be given help always. When one of my aunts was ill she asked the sibling to contribute 1/3 of their monthly salary and that amount collected say 10,000 pesos from the siblings she doubles so they give my ailing aunt 20,000 pesos. Her gift of generosity was there. My dad has more memories to Apung Juli because he grew up with her and his cousins.
UNCLES and AUNTS:
1. ROMEO (Born: 1940s Died: 2000)
My Bapa Romy barely gave me fond memories. I recalled that when he was 40's to 50's of age that he would occasionally come to visit us and stayed for just awhile talk with my dad and leave. It's as if he really didn't want to be there. We never knew what was happening in his life or if he was married or anything but when he died, my siblings found out he had a 10 year old son then. We never really gotten to know my bapa Romy. My dad said that he was the lucky child as he was given the chance to study in Manila and had a lot of money to spend then but he wasn't smart enough as he entered into the bad vices and never really finished his education. When I ask my dad what work did my Bapa Romy have, my dad barely really knows. I feel that my dad has hurtful feelings from my Uncle.
2. TITO (Born: 1940s Died: 2009)
Bapang Tito was married to my dear Auntie Fely and had 4 children (ate Mylene, Kuya Jay, Ate Laila and Jeffrey). Bapa Tito and Auntie Fely then had a PX store at Nepo Mart Angeles City, they sold goods from abroad then and were very successful. My dad was not close to my uncle which didn't give us chance to be closer to our cousins in our younger years. My dad recalled that when my uncle was also given the chance to study in Manila he blew it by spending his money on bad vices in their early days that is why I felt my dad resented my uncle. My auntie Fely and my mom made sure that our relationships with our cousins were not affected by this resentment so they made us get-together and had play dates. When my uncle tito passed away, my dad had a talk with my Auntie Fely where he had his realizations and asked for forgiveness to my auntie and cousins. There was healing in our family at that time and I have never seen my dad to be as peaceful and as happy until that time he let go of his childhood pains and grudges.
3. LETICIA (Born: February 1945)
Auntie Let was my dad's ate. She is a blind woman who didn't get her diabetic cataract treated that is why she was put into that condition in her prime. Before she has gotten blind I remembered she was a fruit and vegetable vendor in the market and her husband who we call Bapang Ador was an OFW. They have 5 children all were older than I am (Kuya Benny, Kuya Rey, Ate Ching, Ate, Lynn and Kuya Boy). She was a strong-willed lady and once she made her mind up, nothing can bend what she said or rules she made up. That is why when the family advised her to get treatment she really dint listen until it was too late that she lost her eyesight. She is now widowed by my uncle ador and lives with her youngest son. She still has her stubborn ways despite her blindness and sometimes I remind her to listen because we want what is best for her and she just gives me a smirk on her face. I pray that she still be with us longer despite her disability she shares her wisdom from experiences with us.
4. ORLANDO my father
5. YOLANDA (Born: February 21, 1955)
Auntie Lan is the youngest of my father's siblings. She was married to a retired-American Navy so she emigrated to the US when I was still very young. She had a son named Mark, my only cousin from auntie Lan and Uncle John. I knew her to be a "fashionista" as she always looked very pretty and well-dressed on any occasions they'd go to and she knows the "brands" of clothes and shoes she would wear. She also has a very generous heart as she helped my Auntie Let's family through tough financial challenges. She supported my cousins through school. I would remember her every time she goes to vacation in the Philippines that she would bring us lots of goodies like clothes, chocolates, bags, shoes and would spoil us going shopping when she is here. She petitioned my parents to the US and they were able to get their green card because of her. Apparently, that deed came with expectations that my parents will live with her but instead my mom opted to stay with my Auntie Ailene in San Francisco than with her in San Diego. My parents weren't really happy in the US as none of us (their children) are with them there. My dad was on his retirement age but had to work in the mainland so they could survive US-life. Eventually, they decided to give up their American dream as they discovered it's not home for them and went home to us here in the Philippines. This misunderstanding of my parents and auntie Lan lasted for at least 5 years. Until last year my Auntie Lan suffered a mild stroke and after she recovered she decided to come back to the Philippines to clear things out with my Dad and Mom. They heard both sides and forgave each other in the end. My Auntie Lan is as stubborn and opinionated as my Auntie Let but her humility and love for the family saw an end to a misunderstanding.
FATHER: ORLANDO PINEDA DUNGCA (Born: November 8, 1946 in Angeles City)
My daddy Lando is a licensed Mechanical Engineer, Master Plumber and an Electrical Engineer by profession. Getting there was not easy for him. His childhood made him to dream bigger get out of the place where he grew up in (Cutcut, Angeles City). He wanted his family to grow in a private village so he worked hard to acquire a lot and get a 2 bedroom house built. He worked at Clark Air Base until Mt. Pinatubo erupted which change the fate of a lot of kapampangans. My dad had to make ends meet as he was sending his 4 children through a private Benedictine school. He even had to learn to make balut and "itlog na maalat" to sell to augment his income. His hardwork and perseverance is what got me through med school. He said that he will support me as long as I want to study. I asked him how I can return the favour and his answer stuck in my soul as he said "Pay it forward." My father did not expect me to repay what he did for me he said that it doesn't mean that if I become a doctor that I become rich, he said to never forget where he came from and help the relatives there. My father is my rock. He has always been there to help, support and forgive me. He is a very discerning man and as he is now on the retirement age he is enjoying his grandchildren and his life with us. He still runs his Engineering Services business now with the help of my brother, Gerald and sister, Vina. He is a prayerful man, once a member of the Opus Dei community and now an active member of the Knights of Columbus. He taught us how to be charitable by initially "forcing" us to do charity works until we get to our senses and realized how we can be a blessing to others. May God grant him a healthy and longer life so he can still inspire us through the years to come.
MOTHER: CAMILA DE GUZMAN PAMITUAN (Born: July 18, 1952 in Angeles City)
My mommy Mila graduated with a degree in Accountancy but was never able to practice her profession as she chose to raise a family with my father rather than build a career. She tried to tend a store when I was 4 yrs old that time I was already in nursery school. Then we became 3 so she had to stay at home and take care of us. My mom has a green thumb! She loves taking care of plants and maintains our garden very pretty. She loves to decorate and move our furnitures around almost monthly you would notce changes in our household fixtures. She loves sewing things and putting together curtains and bedcovers. She tries to cook for us and teaches us our homework. She was the "accountant" of our home budget and that was what I remembered her teaching me, to always keep a list! She is a very prayerful woman, she is a member of the Daughters of Mary Immaculate (DMI) and Soroptimists. She is very loving and patient to us her children. I told her she is my "angel" because she prays with me on my petitions and after that they come true. I want to believe it is through her intercessions that God listens to me more. My parents raised us to be humble, helpful and be discerning of others. They wanted us to love our families as they did us.
SIBLINGS:
I am the eldest daughter of Lando and Mila Dungca. They were blessed with three more children after I was born.
JIZELLE DUNCGA-CANLAS (Born: July 17, 1979; San Fernando Pampanga)
Jill is my second sister, she graduated Cum Laude at UP Diliman with a course of Business Management. We thought she would pursue her career as a lawyer but was given a break at Smart Telecom then and eventually she got married to Carl Canlas. She has two lovely and intelligent daughters and currently she is a stay-at-home-mom as she said that motherhood is her noble career.
She and her husband are into Cross fit training right now and into healthy lifestyle, one of the goal in my bucket list. She knows what she wants and works hard to get it. She is focused and she is my mom's favorite daughter. ( I am my dad's favorite daughter as I claim, if there were any favorites).
VINAMARIE PAMINTUAN DUNGCA (Born: April 21, 1981; San Fernando Pampanga)
I would like to believe that I am closer to my sister Vina then Jill because Jill had to spend her college days in Manila while Vina and I studied here in Angeles City. Vina is a single-mother to Ella my first ever niece! She graduated BS accountancy at the Holy Angel University in Angeles City and worked in a call center for 10 years. Currently is running her own diaper business and works as the secretary of my dad in their Engineering Services business. She is an objective, fun-loving person. She loves to travel and explore the world when given the chance. We help her raise her daughter (this is one of my life's missions I believe). She has dreams that I know one day she will be able to get. My niece Ella has a congenital illness called hypothyroidism, her symptom mainly was alopecia areata (total hair loss). Ella is currently in grade 7 and her school community is aware of her condition and has accepted her well.
GERALD PAMINTUAN DUNGCA (Born: March 22, 1983: San Fernando Pamoanga)
Gerald is our youngest, he was named after St. Gerald as my mom prayed a novena to him asking that they be given a son. He is a graduate of Architecture from the University of Sto. Tomas. He just recently married his long-time girlfriend Trisha Puno Narciso. He is working with my dad in their Engineering services business as he is the general manager. He is still to take his board exam in his profession. In his youth, I still feel his needs to have fun and enjoy life. We keep on reminding him how married life is different from his previous happy-go-lucky life. Someday he will come to see what my father keeps on advising to him but life experiences are always the best teacher as he hasn't really heed the call of my dad.
CONCLUSION:
As you can see in my genogram the women are strong-willed, feisty, stubborn and the men mostly are not confrontational.
The theory that leaders are born may not hold true to my first degree genogram. This exercise has shown me where I have gotten my particular traits and who are the people most influential in my life. We were not a family of leaders, nor doctors, nor professors. Some were professionals most were vendors. They have made us a betterment of them as I can see. Their sacrifices as they faced the challenges in honing us to what we are seemingly paid off. This genogram reflected the traits of who I am and who I can become despite life's adversities and challenges I am facing them headstrong. I am a mother, a paediatrician, a college lecturer and a facilitator at the School of Medicine, a chair of a department, a passionate breastfeeding advocate and now I am a student of the AGSB MBA-Regis program. I am a leader.
**Prof, doing this activity reminded me of how important the characters are in my life story. It has inspired me to inspire and be a blessing to our families' future generation, a betterment of us :) Peace! <Yes truly amazing! Thanks for the shared reflection. It is well done research since there are birthdays pa.!>
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