Defining Moments
When I was a kid, I used to dream of having a lot of businesses, it didn't really matter what kind, as long as it makes me rich and so that I can buy all the material things I need. It could have just been because I wanted to suffice my physiological needs in the Maslows hierarchy of needs or because of the silly books I've stumbled upon. But as years went by, I've been asking myself what my purpose here is, and how do I want to be remembered. The following are the moments and situations that transpired in my life that I believed changed and shaped me to who I am today.
My loving Parents
I grew up in a simple family, 3rd of 4 siblings. My mother is also an Optometrist while my Dad is a CPA. My mom used to work in an optical shop in Manila until my late grandfather gave my mother her first optical shop. Soon after the opening of our first branch, my father needed to quit his job in a bank to support my mother. It was all blood and sweat for the past 30 years for them. They would always remind me and my brothers of all the sacrifices they have gone through just to provide us food, shelter, and good education. They showed me that in life, if you want to achieve something, and you're really honest to your heart about it, you can achieve it by working really hard. It might be a bumpy journey but thinking with the end in mind, it'll be worth it. I have seen in it in their life that providing our basic needs has been their priority.
When I was in college, they would provide us a condominium unit, a free flowing grocery, and a driver would pick us up every Saturday and drive us back to Manila on a Monday. But there is a catch… we had to survive the whole week with just a P1,200 allowance. Imagine being outside your province, with only P200 budget a day for your Breakfast, Lunch, and dinner, it was a horrible experience during my early stay in Manila. I remember my first semester during my first year, where I couldn't even last myself 3 days. What did I learn during those times? I learned how much you can save when you do your own laundry instead of sending it somewhere to be washed, I learned that there are dishes you can cook in the morning that could last until dinner if refrigerated, I learned that you can cook one whole chicken, my favorite, in many ways, and it'll only cost you a little more than P100 a week, etc.. During my clinician years, that was the time I learned how to talk my patients into buying a good pair of spectacles (Optometry and Dentistry students can charge patients in some circumstances). In short, my parents always provided us a maid in our house, but during my times in Manila, I somehow learned to be independent. They gave me a low allowance, but it was during those times I learned to adjust my spending, seek out a source of income, and appreciate what I had at home. And for that I am very thankful to them. My dad would always remind me about spending money "Being rich doesn't only mean having a lot of money, but how much you spend. You can earn 100,000 a day, and spend 100,000 a day, and in the end, you'll still end up broke."
My parents are very religious people and believe in close family ties, especially everybody in my mother side, the Solimans. They taught me the importance of praying the rosary, the importance of going to church whether or not it's a Sunday, and the importance of praying. In time, I have developed a mentality that everything we have here is a gift from God, so that we can thank him by doing good deeds using the gifts He gave us, and that all of His gifts(family, wealth, health, etc.) are temporary and one day we will leave it all behind in his second coming. So they should never take over our life. They have taught me the importance of praying, which for me is a form of meditation.
My father would often tell us the importance of having a complete family. He would say that a Man is successful if he has a good career and is able to raise good children. And also, growing up in a family with a tiger mom, she is my inspiration when it comes to bringing up a family. People would often ask her how she managed to control 4 sons, 3 of them are optometrists, 2 of them are Ophthalmologists. I remember my Dad telling us every Christmas, or during their birthdays, that one day all of us will be very busy, but we should always visit them on those special occasions. Now, despite our busy schedules, it's very rare that some of us would miss a Sunday Mass together or a Sunday dinner or Lunch.
Elementary and High school days
The one scenario that helped me transform myself during my primary and secondary school years was during the time I joined the schools soccer team. I played for my school in the Angeles city athletes association from Grade 4 to 3rd year high school. There were many things that I learned from joining the team. The most important I learned would be team work. In soccer, for your team to bring the ball from your goal post to the opponents goal post, there should be team work; everybody from the goal keeper up to your striker has their own responsibilities. That's why it's very important to trust your team mates in the game. The coach usually emphasizes that the real strength of a football player is the player beside him. He has also taught us the importance of anticipation of the ball. The future can go many ways, therefore, you should be familiar of how most probably something will occur, but at the same time have an idea of the other possible results. On my 4th year I wasn't able to join the team because I left the team after the school intramurals. I left after we lost the championship. I was a sore loser at that time. I was thinking that for 3 years, our section was the year level champion in soccer, but we had to lose on the most memorable year, which is the senior year. I was being counseled by our coach that time but I didn't changed my decision, which I regretted for the years to come. I learned that time that even to the things you love, there will be failures, and those are the times you'll need to remind yourself why you started in the first place, and for me, it was the love of the game.
College Days
Another during the time that I stepped into my Alma mater, the Centro Escolar University. During those years, I could probably describe myself as the epitome of the opposite of someone who has the traits of becoming a leader, therefore I disagree to the topic that was given to our group during the first day of class which was "Leaders are born, not made".
As the first semester of my first year started, I was elected Year Level treasurer in our college, and at first I didn't really took it seriously until all the work started coming, for example, collecting the money of every 1st year class in the college, and being the treasurer, you are obliged to go with the person in charge of buying things for a college activity, etc.
The most important thing that I learned during that time is that: "it is impossible to do it on your own".
If I had to go to each class to collect funds then a lot of valuable time and energy will be spent wasted, but, if during the general assembly, I am able to coordinate with the other treasurers, then all of us will be more effective in achieving our very simple goal. Therefore, leadership doesn't mean having someone to work for you, but having someone work with you and empower them.
Aside from that position I had during my freshmen years, along the way, I've also been given harder positions such as Year Level President and also became an officer in a university organization called "Community Outreach Movement Pro-Active Students Service or Compass".
Throughout the years I've learned how to work with other people not just by co-curricular activities but as well as extracurricular ones. I've learned that you can't be good at everything, and that all of us have a weakness. So, if you have a chance of picking team mates or committee members, it's important to pick what kind of people will be in that team, after all, putting the right people in the right job first is better than creating a strategy.
Another situation that taught me to work with other people was during our thesis days. Our group had the best people for a thesis which requires innovation. Most of us are very familiar with computers and electronics. Me and one of my closest college friend always imagined things that could make our profession easier for us, and we were sure that that was the perfect time to create something that can contribute to our profession. After brain storming with the group, we were able to come up with our thesis plan. We will create an Ophthalmoscope which is connected to a laptop. An ophthalmoscope is a device that can see the retina of an eye by looking through the pupil. A group mate thought that one of the things our professor had a hard time teaching us was explaining what's inside a person's eye using an ophthalmoscope, and we though, if a professor can see inside a person's eye, and at the same time the students can see what the professor see by looking at the image projected in the laptop, it could be a more effective learning class. I can still remember our loud cheers when we were able to make the device work inside a star bucks coffee shop. That time, we won first place during the search for the best undergrad thesis. I remember one of the judges asking us "when are you planning to mass produce this?". I was amazed that the least techie person in the group was the one who came up with the idea, and all we had to do was to build his idea physically. It just goes to show that everybody has an idea, and everybody can become a leader.
I could say that, when it comes to working with other people, my undergraduate years helped me forge my skills which I didn't really have before I went to college. That was probably also the time where I realized that I have so many weaknesses and I can't do everything on my own, and in times that my weaknesses are roadblocks in reaching my goal, the best way to solve that problem is to ask for help and let a colleagues' strengths support your weaknesses at the same time improving my strengths even further by learning. Self-awareness is therefore very crucial in day to day leadership.
First few months in the family business
Another stepping stone for me in leadership would be during my first few months as a hired optometrist in our business. I was first hired under the supervision of a manager, meaning although my parents owned the business (that time, it wasn't yet incorporated), I needed to report to someone higher than me, someone who will evaluate my performance without the intercession of my parents. During those times, being able to mingle with the employees gave me the impression of being closer to them. I understood that some of them are enthusiastic with their work, while some are slacking off, lacking the will to work hard.
That was probably the time where I developed my way of treating staffs. They should be treated in a special and empowering manner, not just a person who is being paid to do their job. One thing I learned with mingling with them is that most of them always had something to say, it could be bad or good, and honestly, I'd always wanted to hear good news. By hearing out what's inside their mind, you're getting the privilege of knowing exactly what's happening to your business, more importantly to your customers, as they are the ones who talks to the customers more often. And I'd always commend someone who tells me a bad news and at the same time provide me with a solution; those are the people who I find very vital.
Another thing I learned that time was people in your business desires growth. It could be a promotion, or trainings, or etc., as long as they will feel the growth. It was also the time that I understood why the staffs are your number one asset, and that they should be treated special, and the same way we treat our customers. We should treat them as if we need them because of their heart and their brain, not just their hands and their back. Because their heart is where enthusiasm is located and brain is where creativity is formed.
And lastly, I believe the moment that had a big impact in my life was when I was tasked to manage one of the branches in our family business after its incorporation. In my mind, I thought that was it, It's what my parents have been grooming us all these years. But in real time, everything was happening so fast and decisions had to be made immediately. It was a whole different culture for me. And the time came when my father noticed me struggling with managing a branch, and opted to help me.
Another thing I found difficult in a family owned business are the changes that occur within it. Being in the seminars of prof. Soriano about family business management and coming across some reading materials about it, I realized that there are a lot of things that needed to be changed. And I've always thought of the saying "family related problem inside the business is like a baby elephant in a small room. You have to remove it and take it outside before it gets too big and you can't take it out anymore". And change is difficult for all of us because we are human beings, and it's even more difficult if it's in a family related business because of all the emotional investment involved.
As for my goal in life, last 2012, I was introduced to one of the Non-profit NGO in the country that caters people who are legally blind and low vision. And I think that was one of the greatest blessings that ever happened to me. Immediately I volunteered to the NGO along with some Ophthalmologists and Optometrist, and would travel from Angeles to Cubao just to tend to patients there. At first, if I'm lucky I would get paid a one piece chicken meal for lunch, but I didn't complained because I know I was there for the children who are indigent and low vision. As times went by, the organization had a budget for all its volunteers, we were all sent to trainings here and abroad, we were given a budget to conduct researches, present them abroad, etc. I was the youngest that time to be called a Low Vision specialist in the country.
Learning on the 1st session
Days before the first session in Leadership, I started reading some of the materials written on the syllabus. And I was really impressed of almost all the authors starting with the same thing, "Self-awareness". Evaluating me is something I'm very familiar with. That is how I usually want to start my week, by asking myself "What were my achievements last week?" and "what were my failures" and "how will I evaluate myself from 1 to 10". But doing this reflection paper and the learning agreement, I was able to dig deeper on my strengths and weaknesses.
Another is empowering others. As the Jesuits would say it, "everybody is a leader". It is very crucial that everybody is highly motivated in an activity. Everybody should act as if they have the chance to lead, creating great ideas whether or not it will be used. And I believe that this could be done starting with one person, acting like a spark that ignites the leadership spirit in another person and another and then another one, like a chain reaction. As Napoleon Bonaparte once said:
"A man will not have himself killed with half pence a day, or a petty distinction. You must speak to the soul in order to electrify him."
And lastly, one of my favorite of the reading materials was the Heroic leadership. I liked the part when the author quoted the Jesuit maxim "Work as if success depended on your own efforts – but trust as if everything depended on God". But of all, I loved the part where the author summarized the four principles of the Jesuits in becoming a leader.
1st was the self-awareness, as I have stated on the previous paragraphs, this is an important characteristic of a leader as it allows himself to evaluate the traits inside of him.
2nd is the innovation part, and the 3rd is love what you do. A leader should be ready to face the ever changing world. I learned on this part how the only permanent thing in this world is change and that a leader should always be ready. I also learned from this part that in situations where in an idea is presented to you, that will need you to change how you usually do something, you should think outside the box and analyze the situation thoroughly even if it means changing something that you are accustomed to, or for example, if someone proved you to be wrong, you have to give way to implement their ideas if it's in the interest of attaining your goal. With the 3rd principle, which is love, it tells us to do everything we do with love, it could be as simple as cooking your food, meditating, or something work related, it is important to treat it with love, it's applicable to your co-workers as well. As it was once said, if skills and love are put together, expect a master piece. And a better way of showing love to what you do is by dedicating it to God. I remember the former Dean of the Ateneo Graduate school of business said, "Find something that pushes you forward. Me? Ad majorem dei gloriam, for the greater glory of God".
4th, it revolves around the word "MAGIS" meaning desiring more, something greater. That is a great motto. It tells us that there is something more than excellence, and that is to reach something higher to what we have achieved the day before. This is something I would want to be instilled in our company mission or mantra, something the people inside our company should focus on. They should acquire the mentality of aiming for constant improvement in everything they do, and that means even those that are related outside of work.
With all of these learning's, I feel like it's my responsibility to expand everything I learned and will be learning in this class and to share it to everyone as much I can. As for my goals in life; That one day, I will be able to have enough resources to open up my own organization dedicated in serving indigent Filipinos who are low vision and the legally blind, and hoping to instill those 4 principles of the Jesuits to everyone involved in it.
Regards,
Mark Paul S. Paroli, OD 3.5
Ocularist / Optometrist
Prosthetic Eye and Low vision Rehabilitation services
+639175141386
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