Hi Prof,
Resending...
Ateneo De Manila University
Graduate School of Business – Clark
Course: Leadership
Prof. Jorge Saguinsin
Submitted by:
Jenieryll Jomarie Mangalindan
Reflection Paper 1
What were your defining moments? What incidents events taught you to be better/transformed you?
THERE ARE ALWAYS TWO SIDES OF THE COIN
People say that 'there are two sides of the coin'. This is easier said than done, people tend to make judgment immediately once they hear one side of a story. And I must say I was also one of those people who easily make judgment to other people. If my friend or relatives tells me that they did not like somebody, I will immediately think that the 'other person' is a bad person.
This is how I think, until I was caught up in a situation where I was the 'other or the bad person' in a story. Actually I must say I have three defining moments that changed my life recently. First is when I fall in love with my friend's ex-boyfriend who is now my husband and the world turn against us but one person understands and God has stand by me and I had hold on to Him during this difficult situation, second is when I make a big mistake and my boss still deals with me patiently, third is when my parents decided to end their marriage.
My first defining moment is when my friend's ex-boyfriend and I realized that we falling with each other, initially I did not entertain and both of us agreed not to contact each other to spare my friend's feeling. But as we try to avoid each other, we ended falling more. Maybe the saying 'absence makes the heard grows fonder' is true after all. So after avoiding for a couple of weeks, we realized we cannot really avoid each other forever. And so we started dating and ultimately he became my boyfriend. We were officemates though from different department and my friend is also from the same Company. When my friend found out that we were dating she was hurt and tried to spread stories against us. She also tried to ruin my reputation with my boss, but my boss did not judge me and she listen to my side of my story. And she understands, and did not blame me. Until now she is now based in Singapore and we still get in touch with each other. She told me to be strong. I wanted to resign during that time, but because my boss believes in me and trust me, I stayed. And God has never leaved me, He gave me wisdom and understanding and I have always pray to Him to give me strength on those difficult times. And I am grateful I stayed in the Company. All the employees seemed to be going against us but I hold on to my boss's trust and God's guidance and try to be professional. Prior to the event, everybody likes me and I felt really bad that everybody now feels ill against us. But I stay, I try to be professional as much as I can and do good things, be positive as what I am. Ultimately my colleagues realized that we are a good person and now everything is back to normal. He is now my husband, and one of these days we would like to close this part of our life and talk to my friend again. We say our sorry but she is still hurt and we respect that.
I must say I have become a better person after that, I have become stronger. It's like a gold that goes thru a fire and came out to be a very beautiful stone. I have gained a lot of wisdom and a lot of understanding. I understand now that not all bad persons are bad person, there are stories behind every people's behavior and it takes a great wisdom to understand them. And I gained that after what happened. I do not immediately judge a person and would try to look at his positive side. I do not believe in hearsay, every time I meet a new person I start fresh and give the person benefit of the doubt even if hear negative about that person. And it makes my life so positive.
Now I am good friends with my colleagues again. Even when they treat me bad previously, I always treat them kindly. This is innate in me and I treat everyone with respect. And they treat me the same.
Second is when I made a big mistake in our month end accounting reporting and my boss never screams or yell at me. Instead she patiently listens to me, escalate my error to the right party and resolve the issue. This she goes hand in hand with me, she never left me. And after that I realized that if this person treats me so kindly and patiently, I need to pay it forward and to the same to others. If somebody makes a mistake, then I should try to understand the person as well and try to resolve the issue, on what went wrong and deal with the issue and not dwell too much on the person who did the mistake. If everybody will do this, if everyone is kind with each other and pay it forward, what a lovely world it would be!
I thank God on what He has turned me into. And now I would talk to Him on difficult situations as well as thank Him every day for all the blessings.
Third is when my parents decided to end their marriage after 23 years, it was my father who initiated such. I have seen their marriage and it has lots of ups and down, my siblings and I would see them fighting most of the time. Imagine how fearful we are as a child when we see them fighting and as the eldest child I would be the one to comfort my little brother and sister and tell them to be strong. The day they decided to end their marriage and my father bids goodbye as he leaves our home, we have been very emotional and could not accept their decision. The following days, weeks and months was a chaos. Our mother has lost focus, my brothers and sisters still go to school and start to rebel. We started to feel hatred for my father. Imagine a home that lost its very foundation and its light starting to dwindle. During that time, I was the source of my sibling's and my mother's strength emotionally, financially and psychologically. Whenever I go home, I cook for them, treat them out and create good memories by going out, and going to mass. I would say this moment makes our family closer, it's like we have to be strong for each other. We have been closer to God that time, at first we ask Him why but at the end we see His purpose. I was my family's source of strength until I came across my first defining moment that puts me at my lowest level. I shared my story with my mother on my first defining moment, and even she was still hurting, it seems she realized that it was now that time that she must put me up again. It is then that she started to get on her feet and my story gives my family and me the other side of the coin. It was then that we starts to understand my father and starts forgiving him. Now my mother has moved on and still continues her career in teaching and my siblings and I are still in touch with my father. We have forgiven him, all people makes mistakes. We are just human being, and we are not to judge on other people. The moral lesson for us is that when we have our own family, we take care of it and flourish it, and put center God in everything we do. So even we may go astray at times, we still do what is right and God will be there to guide us.
Now I realized as I am typing my reflection paper on my defining moment, that God gives me a position to lead as a Manager leading 17 employees at this time because He believes that I have the ability and heart to do so. He has put me to a lot of test and molds me to a better person that I am now. And now I have my own family – a loving husband and two wonderful kids which is one of God's wonderful blessings. 3
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