Reflection Paper 1 by Leader Rhea (RCEE) Mutuc's Defining Moment

"He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader."

― Aristotle

July 9, 15

Rhea Rita C. Mutuc

REFLECTION PAPER # 1

When I heard the words defining moments, the first thing that came to my mind is my life's turning point. When I say turning point, I meant being aware of myself, somewhat self-discovery. Even when I was young I always question myself about my existence. I would always think what if there is no life at all, what would it be like. I think and believe our life is more than what our eyes meet. With this said, I for one definitely believe there is a Supreme Being, that there is God.

Being the youngest in a broken family, I grew up as apathetic and lethargic as can be. I won't and don't care of certain things. The only thing that keeps me going is the love of my mother. She raised us single handedly and would always explain to us our family situation. Business-wise she started from scratch and managed to put up a decent business with revenues that sent us through Universities in Manila. My siblings and I were raised in such a convenient way for my mom. She unconsciously trained us to look after each other's wrongdoings. You may call me 'sipsip' for being number one 'sumbongera.'

You can say that at that point in time, my world just goes around in pleasing my mother. I tried to be the most obedient daughter as can be. I seldom go out with friends since my mom always told us that we should concentrate with our studies while she stays in our province and work hard for us. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I think I became introvert or to the point of being antisocial.

When I graduated College my mom asked me to help her in the business. Being obedient that I am, so I did. I spent more than a year helping her in a way she wanted me to. I was certain that time that I am not growing as a person intellectually and emotionally because I am just doing things because I was told so and not because that is what I strongly believe in.

When I turned 21, I talked to her to let me leave for a while and have my own life. Good enough, I had my own savings and started looking for work in Manila. You may call it identity crisis since I really do not know what I want out of life at that point. I can say that my first defining moment is going out of my comfort zone – moving away from my mother's shadow and trying out new things that life can offer. It was quite hard at first since I am not used to making decisions without consulting her. Not long enough, she told me and my sister, who at that time is also residing in Manila because she has her own family already, that we need to help her in the business yet again because of health issues. I was half-hearted to come back but I did, my conscience got the best of me.

While I came back in the family business, my thoughts still wonder. Managing a single restaurant with your mother plus sister operating it made me feel much worthless. My ideas and my decisions have no weight. I thought it was such a waste of time and talent. My mother's and sister's management style is not like mine. It was on this period where I met my husband. He used to visit me in our restaurant. He admitted to me now that we are already married that he admired my work ethics and how I process my thoughts and things regarding business.

They say opposite attracts. My husband and I are opposite in many ways but we have one thing in common, we think big. We are fueled by challenges thus, we are very competitive.

Our first year of marriage was a bit rocky. When we got married, my mom talked to us saying that even if I am already married, I will still help out in our restaurant business. I just realized back then that the reason of our fights was merely because my husband needs help in managing his own business and I am not there for him because I am helping my mother.

His parents passed down the business he was holding to him when he graduated. With 27 employees and negative capital, he was having a hard time in managing all the aspects of the business.

I was torn. At that time, I was thinking, would I want to be a good daughter or a good wife? So I decided, I packed up my things, went to Manila and stayed there for almost 4 months figuring out what to do. Well of course, I had to keep my mind positive by keeping myself busy. I can still remember using up 20 hours of my day keeping myself busy. That experience proved me that I do not need anyone to survive. I can make my own decisions and my own money. This is my second turning point.

I realized that I had to follow what the Bible says that when you get married, you have to leave your parents and be one with your husband. Before I left my husband in our province, I gave him a book that he has to religiously read everyday for 40 days. That book was the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. He did finish it and after 40 days, I talked to him and asked him what do we want to do now? My escape was to actually have time for myself to reflect and weigh things.

When I came back from my 4-month escape and reflection, I decided to join my husband in his business. I started my way from being the new 'monster' to stirrer of change to now innovator of new culture in the company.

Had I not joined my husband, I will not discover that I have a gift in leading people. Before, I am not still sure if that was leadership not until MBA but I am sure that I can bring change. When I overcome my fears or things that are new to me, I continue challenging myself and ask myself, what do I need to do next so I can make myself better. I wanted to make myself better each day because I believe that life is an unending journey of learning.

I am a big fun of health and education. My mission in life is to use the skill God has given me and is continuously giving. If it means that I have to go out of my way to learn new things and then impart it with others, I will do so. I want to accumulate a lot of money in the businesses I manage and will be managing not only because I want to have and do what the rich and famous have and do but because I want to be an inspiration to others. Let's face it; nowadays people measure your success with money. With money, I also dream of putting up a foundation related with health and education.

These are only some of my defining moments, I am sure there are still more to come. The common observation I have among these turning points is related with my relationships. At first with my mom, then with my husband and then with other people. I realized that I could measure my passion in what I do by helping people. Help is a gift of service. I don't think I have overcome all those previous challenges if I did not help anyone.

Now that I opened a manpower service, helping and teaching people how to fish is my main mission. I do not just want to give them the fish; I want to teach them how to fish by giving employment. It is much easier to do your work if you have a deeper purpose in doing it. As for me, I will continue to be passionate in educating myself and learning through others because through this, I know I can give back to the people around me, to my community, to society, to humanity.

As they say, life is what you make it.

Great  4.   For a a new MBA student.   You really think big.  JUS. Warning:    teaching is mostly psychic income, building a legacy.  But it belongs to SEC C.  Ha6