Reflection Paper 2
1. External - what are family, environment school and work experience that shaped you today?
2. Internal - your values, strength, weakness and how do they affect on how you decide act
3. How do they prepare you for your future challenges..
1. External
Family
I grew up in a family of 4 brothers, and usually, people ask my Mom, "How did you do it? How did you raise 4 males?" The answer could be because of her "Tiger Mom" personality. My mom, coming from a conservative family, tried her best to discipline us from the smallest household chores to the thing we usually do in the outside world. Because of her strict disciplinarian attitude, there were a lot of things that we've learned that school could never have taught us. For one, we learned the importance of a dining table discussion. Whenever a food is on the table and someone is eating, every member in the house is obliged to sit on the table, regardless if he or she had already eaten, just for the sake of company. We also learned the saying "po" and asking for a blessing to elder people, especially to the relatives. Another is, we learned the basic manners towards other people. Like opening a door and letting a woman go through first, etc..
My parents were very active when it comes to charity. Because of them being a member of "St. Paul's Marriage encounter" they were usually deployed to different poverty stricken places where they would donate goods and money. I remember when I was a kid, we went to "Bahay Pag-ibig", a home for the aged here in the City of San Fernando, to check the vision of the elderly people. I could see how tired my Mom was during the outreach, but I could also see how determined she is in helping them.
During my high school years my mother volunteered to Resources for the Blind, inc. to assess the low vision children in Angeles City without any payments. During my 5th year in Optometry, I was introduced to one of the director of resources for the blind, and seeing my name, they remembered the good deed my Mother did during the time she volunteered. Now, also being a volunteer in Resources for the Blind, they have brought me to different parts of the Philippines to assess indigent Low vision patients and do lectures along with other Optometrists and Ophthalmologists to as far as Ilocos and Davao. My Mom would always remind me that "we" are not the blessing to Resources for the Blind, but Resources for the blind is the blessing to us for giving us the opportunity to help.
My Dad is thrifty guy. He has taught us that being rich will depend on how much you spend, as I indicated during my first reflection paper. Because of that attitude I learned to weigh what are my "needs" and my "wants". I could summarize it by defining my needs as something in general term like: food, clothes, mobile phone, computer, etc. anything that can help me in this fast moving life. And the wants would be: what brand of Food, clothes, mobile device, computer, etc. do I want. Another thing he taught us is being a good father. Among the people in the house, he would have the most worn out shoes, belts, slippers, etc. defining the word "simple", compared to all of us where we are able to buy almost everything we set our eyes on. I learned that being a father means having the obligation of building a family. Putting everybody first before himself. He would always remind us the importance of marriage and how difficult it is for the children to not have both parents in one roof.
And lastly, I came from a house of devoted Catholics. We do what usual Catholics do, Pray the rosary, go to church every Sunday, treat the holy week as more important than any other events in the year, and practice our faith. These actions taught me that in times of trouble or hardship, pray. It's a way of meditation, and you'll be surprise how clear your mind is after you pray. As the Buddha once said "Meditation brings wisdom, lack of meditation leaves ignorance."
Environment
When I was born, my parents decided to move to a more peaceful environment, away from the heavy traffic of the fast developing city. We moved to a subdivision where almost all the families' children were at my age group. And there was a time when I was a kid, every 4pm onwards, all the kids in the street (there were probably 10 houses in our street that time) would go out of their houses and play. Those times influenced some of my interpersonal skills, especially to those who I feel comfortable with.
When I was in my teenage years, my parents would usually enroll us to Youth camps or to Seminars during the summers. And probably also attributed to my interpersonal skills. Another events that I remember during my summers in high school would be when my parents enroll me to guitar lessons. The first year of enrollment to a guitar class wasn't very effective; I finished the sessions without really learning anything. I was enrolled again the year after, and that's the time where I found a good teacher. Aside from learning the instrument, I learned that no one is gifted with a skill, and it takes a lot of practice and determination to start learning something. During those times, my hands were really in pain which added to my frustration of having hard time learning, but then I realized, that I was starting to finish a 4 chord song. After that, I didn't notice the pain in my fingers anymore and practiced even more until the day of our first recital. It was a great experience for me. I was able to meet a lot of new friends, I learned a good lesson about the fruits of hard work, and I learned to suck up my fear in front of a large crowd.
School
A memory of mine during my high school years would be my membership to the school's Football club. I have stated this story in my reflection paper 1. I learned the value of team work during my time with the team. You need to trust your team members in order to achieve your team's goal, which is to win. There is no I in team.
Another thing I learned while still playing with the team was the discipline, and that will start with your coach. You should be disciplined enough to accept the scolding you get and be disciplined enough to follow the rules and regulations of the school. I learned during those times that playing for your school means representing your school, and that you should be ready to fight for it because it's a glory that will be remembered for years to come, and that you are responsible in achieving it.
I quit the team during my senior years because of our defeat during the intramurals. It was something I regret up to this moment. Sometimes failure is part of life, but I know that I should've looked at it as a reason to improve and that I should've thought of the reason why I chose to play, and it was for the love of the game.
During college, officers of class, year level and Organizations are required to attend Leadership training seminars. I learned a lot of things during those seminars, such as; we should live our life through the Acronym L-O-V-E. Love, integrity, faith and excellence. Another is that it is important to be passionate to what you are doing and to influence everybody that you are working with, after all "When love and skill work together, expect a master piece." Another things that they made us realize how the most potent weapon in the world is a human soul on fire, and that state can happen to everyone.
During our thesis class, that was the time when I learned the importance of believing in your teammates. The one that thought of our thesis was the one who's less techie among all of the members of the group. That day, we were able to win the 1st place in the search for the best undergrad research. And 4th place university wide.
Work
There was a time in our family business where there was a misunderstanding between two of the family members which has set a negative mood in the meeting. I noticed during that time that most of the replies being thrown to each other were basically influenced by their emotions, and ended with both parties being mad at each other. After that, we didn't have any formal meetings for quite a while until I felt like we really needed to conduct one, and in a regular basis. I made a memo which is addressed to all of the family members and to our 4 managers about the schedule of the Monthly, Quarterly and Annual Meetings and its rules and regulations, basing what happened to our last meeting. At first, I was afraid that no one will take the memo seriously being currently the youngest in the business. I swallowed that fear, and to my surprise, majority had confirmed. The meeting went well according to plan, and had fruitful outcomes. I was commended by my father during after that first meeting. Now we've been holding regular meetings, and I'm planning to separate the Managers and the family members' meeting in the near future. I could say that it was a big leap for me when it comes to leadership.
During my early years in the business, as one of the employees, I was able to become close to them. I was able to mingle with them on whatever things they have in their minds. I learned a lot from them during those times, and I can easily tell which employees are passionate of their jobs and those who are not. I was able to learn what they want and what we could do to suffice that. And most important of all, I was able to get a glimpse of their ideas in managing the clinics. All of these are going to become useful in my future managerial years.
2. Internal
In terms of values, I could trace mine in my religion. I believe that it has a big influence in most of my choices in life. As a sneak peek of my 3rd reflection paper, my passion would be a phrase that has always pushed me forward, they are the latin words ad majorem dei gloriam, which I had encountered few many times even before I enrolled in the Ateneo. It's a phrase that makes me give all my best, because after all, the Almighty deserves nothing but the best from us.
As for my strengths, which are backed by me Enneagram results, one would be the ability to ask for someone else's advice when it comes to important decisions. I will always welcome someone else's opinion regarding a subject matter. However, I still know that it's up to me to decide. I am aware that there are many experts in the field of business, but in the end of the day, I am the one who will make the final decision. Strength would be my adventurous type of personality. I will always welcome a new way of doing something. I am very committed to my work which I also find as one of my strength. I always look forward to going to bed every night because I can't wait for the next day to come.
As for my weaknesses, they are anxieties, fear, procrastination, over work, etc. and sometimes they have been a hindrance to my decision, and I know that these are things that I need to conquer or else could bring me to my downfall.
3. How do they prepare you for your future challenges.
By analyzing everything that I wrote in the external influences that shaped me today, I can come up with my Values, weaknesses and strengths. By knowing these 3, I could then further analyze how I can capitalize them to make myself become a better person, especially when problems or challenges occur.
I can use my values when it comes to decision making or in any action that I am about to do. I can improve my strengths to become a more effective person, and lastly, I can work on my weaknesses, by telling it to a close friend and having them help me out, joining workshops, team buildings, support groups, reading books, and other ways to help me conquer it. One of my weakness is unable to handle too much stress. Sir Richard Branson once said, "in business, a person who can stay cool and calm under pressure is an asset." And I believe that one day I'll be able to achieve that trait with constant practice.
As the Jesuits would state in one of their principles in leadership, Self Awareness is an important aspect of leadership. By knowing yourself and what you are capable of, you are preparing yourself on the challenges that are yet to come.
Mark Paul S. Paroli,
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