Hi Prof Jorge,
Submitting my genogram
Thank you and have a nice weekend!
Genogram
Our Family Tree
By Leader Anna Choco
1. Grandparents – Father side
Manrique Quizon Choco
25 January 1901 – 05 March 1996
Cause of Death: Old age
Inciana Soriano Choco
30 September 1905 – August 1958
Cause of Death: High Blood Pressure; been paralyzed for couple of years before death.
My siblings and I are not close to my father's family. I don't even know my father's other siblings but I just heard their names and story from my father. The Choco's were originally from Binuangan Bulacan but my father and his siblings grew up in Malabon City. My grandmother whom they call Isang, is a plain housewife while my grandfather Iking was a mason-carpenter. They are not rich reason why only two from their family was able to finish college. The eldest in the family, my father's kuya and my tiyo, named Ernesto Choco was a lawyer by profession while my other tiyahin, tiya Claring Choco was a plain housewife.
My lolo was a womanizer even my lola was still alive, the main reason why my mother don't like my lolo. I grew up not seeing my lolo due to the fact that my nanay don't want us to be associated with my father's relatives. She is not close to them but civil. I've been hearing that nanay don't like them for the reason that they are loud and full of vices. I can't remember an instance where my mom would visit my lolo's house even my father would pay a visit to my lolo. My lolo is a gambler; he loves sabong and "sakla", a card game I don't know how it works. But what I can remember is that my lolo is a great carpenter. He was called maestro carpentero as all his works are done with quality and precision. Give him cement and wood and he can make a living out of that.
Even though my mother don't like my father's family, she was the one who took care of my lola Isang for years when she got stroke from high blood pressure. She did that for the sake of my father because my father is my lola's favorite son and my father love her that much that he wanted her to live with them.
Currently, no one is still alive from my father's side. All of them; my lolo and lola, my tiyo Ernesto, my tiya Claring and my father, Herminio Choco are all with the good Lord now.
2. Grandparents – Mother side
David Santos de Jesus
25 January 1903 – 05 March 1948
Cause of Death: Bangungot or Acute Pancreatitis
Guillerma dela Cruz de Jesus
24 June 1905 – March 18, 1999
Cause of Death: Old Age
My lolo David died at a very young age. He died at 45. I have heard a lot of fond memories from my mother's family. Lolo David was a successful businessman who runs a fleet of jeepneys (10 vehicles or more can be called fleet) and owns large fishponds around Bulacan, Bulacan. He was an educator before he became and entrepreneur. While lolo runs a fishpond, my lola sells fish at public market in Malabon. Her routine would be selling fish in the morning and after lunch, would go for bingo games with her siblings around the family compound. While lola is busy with her hobby, lolo will start to check on his jeepneys for maintenance and other things related to his business.
I remember my mother would fondly tell stories about my grandfather. My mother was my lolo David's favorite daughter according to her. My lolo was a very good man, an ideal partner as my lola would describe him. Since they belong to a rich family in Malabon during that time, every week my mother would just go to their suking dressmaker and just pick whatever she wants and my lolo would just get billed. When mother was still studying, her classmates would always tease her for a treat, so what my mother would do is just wait on the road and flag the first driver who will pass by and would ask for money telling them to just deduct the money from their daily boundary. Whenever mother and her friends would like to watch movies, mother would just look at my other lolo named lolo Ador who was a policeman. Since during that time, they still look up to men in uniform, all they have to do is ask a favor from the cinema cashier that his niece would watch movies with her friends and they would be free of charge then. In essence, my mother and her siblings lived comfortably with a bit of luxury during those time that my lolo is still alive. Sabi nga nila, good things never lasts forever.
My grandfather died at a very young age of 45. When lolo left, my grandmother don't know what to do and she don't want to continue with the jeepney business. Lola wanted to live a very simple life, to have three meals a day and have enough monay at the bank is the only thing she wanted then. She sold all their jeepneys and keep the money at the bank. Their fishponds were leased out and lola continue with her own business of selling fishes. That was the time that their life started to slow down. Bad thing is that only one in their family finished a degree. My mother planned to take up Nursing during college but her lolo would tell her, "wag ka mag nurse, kakatulungin ka lang ng mga maysakit sa hospital" so my mother ended up not finishing her college studies. Her two brothers; Jose de Jesus Sr. and Bayani de Jesus, wasn't able to finish college too and only one, which is my tiya Nila graduated college, B.S. Education. My tiya Nila currently lives in the United States and already has a family of her own.
Currently of the four siblings, eldest son Pepe, my mother Emeng and Bayani are all with the good Lord now. Tiyo Pepe died of high blood pressure and tiyo Bayani died of bangungot same as my lolo David. My nanay, Emeng died of multiple organ failure due to acute kidney problem.
3. Parents – Father side
My father got two other siblings, the eldest is tiya Claring, a plain housewife. Second is tiyo Ernesto Soriano Choco, a lawyer by profession and an active Minister of the Iglesia Ni Cristo before his demise. Third in the family is my father, Herminio Soriano Choco who was born on 24 September 1935 and left us 10 June 2011. My father died of Aneurism and Cardiac Arrest.
My father came from a poor family. Father took several courses but never actually graduated college. He took up Political Science, Economics and Psychology but never finish any one of them.
4. Parents – Mother side
My mother got three other siblings. Their eldest is Jose de Jesus or tiyo Pepe, second is my mother Guillermina Choco or Emeng for short, third is Bayani de Jesus or tiyo Bayan, fourth is Nila Santos who is currently residing in the United States. Of the four siblings, only the youngest, tiya Nila graduated college. She is a practicing Medical Technician in a California hospital before her retirement. My mother's family was known in Malabon for being affluent. The reason why the three siblings didn't persevere to have a degree in college I think is because of that wealth. Tiya Nila was motivated to finish college maybe because she grew up when lolo was not around to provide and support them and she was the only one in the family who experienced adversity in life.
5. Siblings
We are seven in the family. I am the sixth child. We are originally six, but my father adopted another boy since father wants a second son in the family.
Four out seven in the family graduated college. My ate Chona, finished Medical Technology in de Ocampo Memorial Colleges but never practice the profession. Second is dete Wilma, who finished secondary school. Third is sanse Gina, who earned her B.S. Fine Arts degree in University of the East, fourth is my only brother Johnifer who took up Dentistry but didn't able to finish, fifth is Jeanette who graduated B.S. in Psychology from Lyceum University, sixth is myself and seventh is our adopted brother, Chito who also finish secondary school.
Ø Family Environment/Emotional Tone
We are not a family of achievers but lived a happy simple life. A traditional family, who eats and pray together, had a disciplinarian head of the family who will never hesitate to use "pamalo" whenever you commit mistakes and you never follow family rules. A father who provided for the family, who relentlessly guided us to be the person I am today. My mother is a typical nanay who will nag at you if you get up late in the morning, if you didn't help wash the dishes and other household chores. I remember my childhood where I am so excited every start of the school year because it's the time of the year where my nanay and I will shop for school supplies, new shoes, new uniforms, new bag and new lunch box! Weekend dates with nanay is also memorable as we regularly go to to Cubao and do our grocery in Uniwide Sales. I was happiest when nanay will bring me to Fiesta Carnival in Cubao, then we will have our lunch in Fairmart where they have a restaurant at the ground floor. I still remember what my order would always be: fried rice and chocolate cake, what a combination, hahaha! During December, the whole family will go to COD in Araneta Center to watch the Christmas Mannequin Show, sometime we will go to Luneta to do some biking and night picnics. When my tiya Nila will go back for a vacation, we will have our traditional family outing at Laguna or we will go fishing at the family fishpond in Bulacan. Growing up, I never saw my parents fight, if they did, I am sure they intentionally hid that from us. Life is not perfect of course. There was one time that my brother ran away from home out of fear because I saw him cutting classes. He thought that my father will punish him because I told my mother about it. There's one instance that my father slapped my sister because my father thought she already had a boyfriend who didn't go to the house to court her. My father's rule was "walang paliligaw sa daan, dapat pumunta sa bahay at magpaalam".
Ø Roles of Family Members
Father – disciplinarian; provider; life guide; head of our family; center of power
Mother – provider; home maker; buys everything for the family
Ate – second in command when parents are out; slave driver
Dete – responsible for household chores when nanay is out; family's black sheep
Sanse – Artist; cooks for the family; took care of sick parents; second parent to my nieces and nephew.
Kuya – clown of the family; professional cook; emotionally weakest of all siblings
Ditse – Family diplomat; representative and speaker of the family
Myself – errand runner; mother's supporter;
Bunso – handyman; errand runner
Ø Growing Up In My Family
What was the kind of family environment in which I grew up?
I came from a simple but happy family setting. We are not an ideal family but we make it a point that everyone was involved when problems came our way. We go to church every week but not at the same time, but we make sure that everyone will sacrifice a day for prayers.
Since both my parents are not college graduates, they are not particular to academic achievements. Yes, they send us to school but the push I need for me to achieve more was not there. For them, just to finish school would be enough. Maybe because the thinking is that they were able to manage life even without that college diploma. How I wish that my parents are at least enthusiastic with our academic achievements. When my father retired from work, I was told that I need to stop from school. I was in my third year in Architecture then. I felt angry that time because I know he still has the means to send me to school its just that its not his priorities. Good thing my mother understood that I really want to finish college, so she asked help from her sister, my tita who lives in California to help me finish my remaining two years in Architecture. In summary, I grew up in a traditional happy family but with no solid support for academic achievements.
What activities did we do regularly? How did we celebrate holidays and special occasions?
I think almost all Filipino family loves to eat. And we are no different. When I was still a kid, we often go to Luneta for picnics and biking activities. We do boodle fight at home almost every Sunday; we intentionally uses banana leaves so that washing the dishes wouldn't be a problem. When I grew up, the interest changed to bowling, since we live near a bowling alley in Cainta. After that bowling fad, the activity changed to Videoke though most of the family members are not born singers, haha! For holidays, still the same, food will be the main thing. Every New Year, father made sure that everyone will be at home before 10:00PM in preparation for "paghihiwalay ng taon". He believes that the family who eats together on New Year's eve will stay together and stick together.
What did I consider turning points in my family's development? How did this affect me?
When my father retired from work. That was the lowest point of our life financially. First, I was really affected because I was asked to stop college. Depression sets in because my mother was the one who provides for us instead of my father. But God is so good, my father bounced back when he invested in a construction business and life started to pick up once again.
Who was/is the leader in my family? Who wields power in my family? How is this used?
My father was our leader. I grew up looking up to my father as the foundation of our family. He taught us the right discipline, to be prayerful and to always do the right thing especially when self-doubt is present. I witnessed how he loved my mother and how he took care of us. He may not be particular to school achievements but that did not impede the love and the respect that I have for him.
What was considered important in my family? What was I often taught to remember as I was growing up?
Sunday mass. Both my parents are active in the church when they are still alive. My father is a community leader and my mother occasionally does social works for the community. Respect for elders. Saying po and opo, helping other people without asking in return. My father actually lost count how many "inaanak sa kasal" he had.
Ø My Family and I
What do I observe in myself that I also see in my parents and other relatives (e.g. career choice, personal characteristics, choice of spouse, patterns of coping, patterns of relating, pathologies etc)?
Arts. My sister and my nephew both graduated Fine Arts and are now both professional Artists. Fine Arts was supposed to be my course but my father swayed me to take up Architecture since my sister already took it up already. My niece followed my footsteps and she currently works in Singapore now as an Architectural Designer.
My lolo on both sides are both handymen, my father is also one, maybe the reason why I myself likes to do things myself. I love to do things at home like wall painting for example and simple repairs of everything.
Social works. My lola, my mother and other aunts are actively participating in doing charity works. I may not be that active, but I do it in my own special way like sponsoring a child in World Vision.
How has my being part of my family shaped the person that I am today?
Simplicity. Simple wants, simple needs. I may not be as prayerful as my parents and my grandparents but I do go to church every week. I make it a point that I will sacrifice at least a day to give praise to Him. I would like to think that I have the people skills that my lolo and my father exhibit. Resiliency. My lola lost my lolo and their wealth but she adapted to it, my mother lost material possessions when she got married to my father but she adapted well.
Ø Insights
What did I realize from this activity?
I realized that tracing back your family roots would bring out the very core of your persona. I may not be able to trace all since almost all of my elders departed already but still, you can see the traces of your personality and the way you do things.
How do I feel about these insights?
I feel that whatever persona you want to be, whatever learning you want to change or to achieve, it still boils down on how you perceive things. We can use our life history to improve whatever we want to improve. Our experiences would guide us to achieve things that we would want us to happen in the future. We could make amendments on those things that we think needs improvement. Life is a continuous process, and we should be able to convey all those learning of the past to the future.
How do I want to proceed from these realizations?
Realizing all those, I would continue to give importance to education as opposed to my parent's priorities. I would continue the wisdom that my mother taught me, to be helpful of others in need, to remain humble and to be resilient whatever challenges cross my path.
What course of action shall I undertake?
Life is a continuous process. I might need to do a series of changes but knowing that I was armed with the right character, continuously developing my competency, setting my focus on life's purpose, everything would be possible. How? I would continue to reflect on my life goals from time to time making sure that my progress is aligned with my objectives. I might stumble yes, but who cares? As long as I am willing to get up again and again, who can stop me?
"The real path to greatness, it turns out requires simplicity and diligence. It requires clarity, not instant illumination"
~ From Good to Great by Jim Collins ~ good
Thank you for taking time to read my Genogram
By Leader Anna Choco
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