Regis Cebu Leadership – Leader Oliver Solijon – Reflection Paper 1 – Defining Moments
During my younger years, I always consider myself a happy-go-lucky person. I find comfort in the company of friends. As a child, I played as much as I can and sneaked out away from household chores and as a teenager I explored every aspect of being a teenager as if tomorrow never comes.
I came from a humble family. My parents always instill in our minds that for us to prosper in life, education is our only key. When I attended college, my personality of being a happy-go-lucky has turned from bad to worst. I joined a fraternity that was noted to be notorious as we were in constant clashed with a rival group. As a person who wants to be in the middle of the action, I either got beaten up or hurt was able to somebody pretty bad. Although my college life was a bit colorful, I never took for granted my academics.
As a college student, I am both dedicated and active member of my fraternal organization and academic organization despite the fact on the unpleasant involvement of my fraternity to some unruly behaviors and conduct. The leadership skills in me were already present as I held the highest position on both organizations twice on separate occasions. Although leading an academic organization was an honor and privileged, it was a different story for the fraternal organization.
The fraternal organization was subjected to constant threats especially its leaders. There was literally a war happening at that time and for four (4) years since I became a member, half of me was already considered dead. Many asked me of all the fraternity in the campus, why my fraternity. For fourteen (14) years now, that question still lingers in my head. I have no definite answer on why I chose my fraternity. All I can say is I belong not just a member but as family despite the fact that we were engage in a serious conflict with a rival group and as a leader then I have to lead and be strong for my brothers and sisters in the organization. For four (4) years, my life was under constant threat that each day was like a survival for the fittest but my luck almost runs out of me.
March 17, 2004 two (2) days before my graduation, me and a fraternal brother was drinking together with some members of other fraternities when a member of our rival fraternity came and was trying to look for someone. After he wasn't able to find what he was looking for, he chance upon me and my fraternal brother drinking with other members of other fraternity when all of a sudden he approached us pulled a sub-nose magnum .357 and started shooting at my direction. Fortunately the gun jammed and was immediately taken from him after he was subdued.
The incident that happens fourteen (14) years ago was a result of a misguided principle. It was anchored on hate and anger as a result of too much pride that one is better than the other. As I quoted in our Tenets and Codes of Conduct, "First of all do not harm. Let alone in defense of once self for whatever man has cause to be". This principle brings so much learning that I never tried to understand it during my college days.
As I continue my journey from being a student to becoming a professional, the transition from being dependent to independent caught me off guard. I was in shocked on the taught that I was earning for myself and that I can sustain whatever engagement I'm into and I was back into being a happy-go-lucky person again.
Since graduating and for the next seven (7) years, I explored and enjoyed my life as if I was about to die. There were party's left and right and meeting women all around to hook upon. In short it was a crazy professional life not until in 2010.
Meeting someone in an unexpected manner is like exploring an unchartered isle. I never thought I got serious considering that I still have with me the personality of a happy-go-lucky person. Days and months passed, our relationship becomes from being a mere companion to becoming a couple. By then I still wasn't able to let go of being a happy-go-lucky person that I resulted in lying to her about my night outs.
In the middle of 2012, she told me of news that forever change my life. I was going to be a father. At that very moment when she told me, a lot of things runs into my head that I was having a hard time digesting the words she said. Apart from the confusion, I felt apprehension as I try to contemplate the idea of her being pregnant and I of becoming a father. No words came out of my mouth to utter my reaction.
As I try to face the reality, I reassessed myself if I was ready to become a father and if I can let go of the things that provides me temporary jolt of happiness or face the responsibility that lies ahead. As I had waited for that moment, I keep on thinking how will I do as a father to my child and as a husband to my wife. That thought constantly runs in my head for the next nine (9) months.
February 26, 2015 at 5:41pm, my wife gave birth to a healthy baby boy. It was an indescribable feeling that caught me for while looking at him at the nursery. I never felt so good about anything that I already have a son. A realization sinks in that now I'm already a father and I need to prioritized things from now on.
For the last eleven (11) years, 2 major events have change the way I see things and have brought the realization of being responsible. As a leader in our organization, it was my responsibility to lead my fraternal brothers and sisters not to astray but to the right path were the tenets and codes of conduct of the organization embodies. As a leader, I should have showed then that I am a role model in promoting harmony to other organization that equality exist and respect could never be demanded.
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