Regis Cebu Leadership: Leader Izumi Yamashita - Enneagram

Regis Cebu Leadership

Leader Izumi G. Yamashita

Enneagram

I.        ENNEAGRAM TEST RESULTS

According to my Enneagram test results, my basic personality type is most likely a Type 3, The Achiever. Taking wings into account, I seem to be a 3w2 (Achiever – Helper) or 3w4 (Achiever – Individualistic) or 4w3 (Individualistic – Achiever).

Figure 1: The Enneagram

(Source: Eclectic Energies)

Basic Personality Type	Score	Wing	Score
Type 3 – The Achiever	13.3	Wing 3w4 (Achiever – Individualist)	19.8
Type 4 – The Individualist	13.0	Wing 3w2 (Achiever – Helper)	19.7
Type 2 – The Helper	12.7	Wing 4w3 (Individualist – Achiever)	19.7
Type 6 – The Loyalist	12.0	Wing 2w3 (Helper – Achiever)	19.4
Type 7 – The Enthusiast	10.7	Wing 4w5 (Individualist – Investigator)	18.0
Type 8 – The Challenger	10.3	Wing 6w7 (Loyalist – Enthusiast)	17.4

II.      MY LIFELINE VIS-À-VIS THE ENNEAGRAM RESULTS

When I read the characteristics of my basic personality and wing types, I was actually not surprised. As you will see in my Learning Agreement, my strengths and weaknesses reflect exactly some of the most important assets and liabilities that each personality is comprised of.

As illustrated above, I plotted my lifeline and graphed it to try to make sense of my experiences, how I felt at the moment, what I was thinking during these times, where I was, and where I am now.

Type 3 - The Achievers

In a nutshell…

ü  Adaptable, excelling, driven, and image-conscious

ü  Focused on the presentation of success, to attain validation

"People of this personality type need to be validated in order to feel worthy; they pursue success and want to be admired. They are frequently hard working, competitive and are highly focused in the pursuit of their goals.  They are often "self-made" and usually find some area in which they can excel and thus find the external approbation which they so desperately need."

Threes are socially competent, often extroverted, and sometimes charismatic. They know how to present themselves, are self-confident, practical, and driven. Threes have a lot of energy and often seem to embody a kind of zest for life that others find contagious. They are good networkers who know how to rise through the ranks. But, while Threes do tend to succeed in whatever realm they focus their energies, they are often secretly afraid of being or becoming "losers".

Threes can sometimes find intimacy difficult. Their need to be validated for their image often hides a deep sense of shame about who they really are, a shame they unconsciously fear will be unmasked if another gets too close. Threes are often generous and likable, but are difficult to really know. When unhealthy, their narcissism takes an ugly turn and they can become cold blooded and ruthless in the pursuit of their goals." (Eclectic Energies)

I was four when my mom left me with my grandparents to work abroad. My grandparents had to care for me and my aunt, who's almost the same age as I am. Given the difficulties of caring for two children, my grandparents had to kind of split the task. My grandmother has always been hands on with my aunt, while my grandfather was the one who adored me to pieces and people say it was because I was the first grandchild.

I was a lolo's girl. I wasn't really all that close to my grandmother because I found her harsh. She was a typical old school old woman who got irked over the smallest things. Every time I got scolded, I'd always run to my lolo for comfort.

My grandfather died when I was six. Ever since, it was just my grandmother, my aunt, and myself. My grandmother always favored my aunt and always compared her with me – how respectful, kind, generous, hard-working, and just wonderful as a child she is. She also showed me how proud she is of how beautiful and talented she was and even for the course she took in college as compared to mine. It is for this molding backdrop that I turned into this competitive, but at the same time, insecure person that I am. Whenever people would compare me to someone, I felt the need to prove them wrong and show-off how "great" I was. I hated the feeling of being insecure and inferior, which is why I always try to stay ahead of the competition. I always want to be the best in everything I undertake, whether professionally, academically, even up to the social scene. I always want to make an impact. I always want to be the one people can rely on and look up to for anything that they need – the go-to guy. I always want to matter and it irks, distracts, demotivates, and even depresses me when I don't. It makes me feel like not needed, useless, and thus purposeless.

I guess it is also for this reason that I was not surprised to have a wing Type 2 – The Helper.

Enneagram Type 2 - The Helper

In a nutshell…

ü  Generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive

ü  Helpers who need to be needed

"People of this personality type essentially feel that they are worthy insofar as they are helpful to others. Love is their highest ideal. Selflessness is their duty. Giving to others is their reason for being. Involved, socially aware, usually extroverted, Twos are the type of people who remember everyone's birthday and who go the extra mile to help out a co-worker, spouse or friend in need.

Twos are warm, emotional people who care a great deal about their personal relationships, devote an enormous amount of energy to them, and who expect to be appreciated for their efforts. Helping others makes Twos feel good about themselves; being needed makes them feel important; being selfless, makes Twos feel virtuous. Much of a Two's self-image revolves around these issues, and any threat to that self-image is scarcely tolerated. Twos are thoroughly convinced of their selflessness, and it is true that they are frequently genuinely helpful and concerned about others. It is equally true, however, that Twos require appreciation; they need to be needed. Their love is not entirely without ulterior motive.

Because Twos are generally helping others meet their needs, they can forget to take care of their own. This can lead to physical burnout, emotional exhaustion and emotional volatility. Twos need to learn that they can only be of true service to others if they are healthy, balanced and centered in themselves.

Twos are proud and have a strong sense of their own worth." (Eclectic Energies)

When I was 10, my mom came home to the Philippines and it was the first time I saw her since she left. With her was a 10-month old baby boy I do not know. I thought my mom was already a nanny or something and it was a child she was just taking care of, but of course I was weirded out as to why she would bring him along with her. It was only then that they told me it was my brother. I was confused because for the longest time, I was convinced I was an only child. It was also only then that they told me my parents had separated when I was one, and it was the reason I was brought back to the Philippines.

My mom and my stepdad had been together as soon as she flew back to Japan, and that was even when I was four. For as long as I could remember, my mom would require me to send my dad greeting cards for every occasion there is, as if to make me believe I still had a father.

My dad never did respond to my letters. Whenever I would ask, they would all tell me that he's just too busy. I would buy it but then, it all made sense.

I was presented with hard truths as if to tell me I have no other choice but to take it. I was too young and never really got the chance to absorb and deal with the truth. I just know I didn't like, but there's nothing more I can do. Neither was I given the chance to be provided any explanation; something which up to now I feel they owe me.

I feel I was deceived and deprived of the fair chance to know the truth and actually deal with it. It is because of these lies and deceit that I felt entitled to do whatever I want to do without owing my mom, my grandmother, or my family any explanation. Ever since, I have had issues trusting people and hence have always had my guards up to protect myself from everyone thinking they are all out to attack me. It was also ingrained in my mind that everyone is out to protect only themselves and only their own interests, thus prompting me to be dubious of everyone's intentions.  This caused me to be independent and watch for my own self against people trying to take advantage of me. I have learned to look out for my own, to trust no one, and to depend on no one. I thought of myself as being alone in this cruel jungle called the world, thus teaching me how to survive on my own, even if it means having to hurt people in the process. I've always seen the world as a dog-eat-dog place that I'm supposed to conquer and a competition that I must always win, which probably also led me to be overly competitive. However, while it has so far been successful for me in terms of conquering the world, somehow, there is still this sense of emptiness that I cannot seem to overcome. This part of me seems to hold true to the characteristics of an Enneagram Type 4 person, The Individualist.

Enneagram Type 4 - The Individualist

In a nutshell…

ü  Expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental

ü  Identity seekers, who feel unique and different

"People of this personality type tend to build their identities around their perception of themselves as being somehow different or unique; they are thus self-conscious individualistic. Fours tend to see their difference from others as being both a gift and a curse - a gift, because it sets them apart from those they perceive as being somehow "common," and a curse, as it so often seems to separate them from the simpler forms of happiness that others so readily seem to enjoy. Thus, Fours can manage to feel superior to others while also secretly harboring some degree of longing and envy. A feeling of being a member of the "true aristocracy" alternates with deep feelings of shame, and fears of somehow being deeply flawed or defective.

Fours are emotionally complex and highly sensitive. They long to be understood and appreciated for their authentic selves, but easily feel misunderstood and unappreciated. They have a tendency to withdraw in the face of a world that seems harsh or crude, and are often somewhat moody or temperamental. They are emotionally centered and spend much of their lives immersed in their internal mental landscapes, where they feel free to cultivate and analyse their feelings. A desire to manifest this internal world often leads Fours to an interest in the arts, and some do become actual artists. Whether artistic or not, however, most Fours are aesthetically sensitive and concerned with self-expression and self-revelation, whether it be in the clothes they wear or in the overall nature of their often idiosyncratic lifestyles.

Fours are somewhat melancholic by disposition, and under stress tend to lapse into depression. They also tend to be self-absorbed, even under the best of circumstances, but when unbalanced, easily give way to a self-indulgence which they perceive as being fully justified as a way to compensate for the general lack of pleasure they experience in their lives. Rather than look for practical solutions to their difficulties, Fours are prone to fantasizing about a savior who will rescue them from their unhappiness." (Eclectic Energies)